X (as in, no, we don't want you). Also, X-Factor.
Last week was a toughie. I actually started out in quite a good mood on Monday, despite having to go to work the previous day completely exhausted. Monday was my day off from my normal person job, I took myself swimming, and caught up with a few things that I had been putting off and had a pleasant day.
I had sent my Claudio a good luck message as he had an audition that day, and as no-one was wishing me luck for anything that I had been doing and I was feeling grumpy about it, I thought I’d share the love. We actors are quite sensitive you know, we need constant support! That was my good deed of the day and I carried on enjoying the sunshine.
Tuesday wasn’t too bad either to be honest. I was at work but thanks to the people that I work with, the day seemed to go quite fast. I had Wednesday off, didn’t wake up til gone 10am, back to my unemployment ways(!) and then my other half took me out for dinner which was lovely.
I was just about to leave his house, naturally checking my social networks before I left, when I saw that my Claudio had got the job he auditioned for. His status immediately got a ‘like’ and a ‘:D’ comment and I did a little punch in the air and whooped. I was so pleased for him. I left for home and as soon as I got in the car I started to feel really down.
Despite being happy for him in his new role, I was slightly jealous. Well, I don’t know if I mean jealous or not. Whatever it was, I started to cry. And I couldn’t stop. It was that ridiculous that I thought I’d have to pull the car over because I couldn’t actually see properly any more.
It didn’t seem fair. There he was, walking straight into job after job and I’m struggling to get anywhere yet again. I cried myself to sleep that night. I don’t even know how many jobs I applied for last week, it was an insane number, and to continually get passed over for every single one makes you feel useless. It doesn’t help that my particular casting website of choice lets you see when your profile has been viewed by employers. That’s just another kick in the teeth when you know you’ve definitely been looked at and they don’t want you.
As the week progressed I saw more and more of my actor friends getting work and it made me feel worse. I wasn’t even looking forward to Saturday’s performances. I knew that doing more shows meant that the end was even closer, and I didn’t want it to happen.
Friday’s dance rehearsal took things off my mind for a while, but I still wasn’t myself. At least I could go to sleep and wake up on Saturday ready to take myself away from the world and disappear. The audiences needed me, I couldn’t let them down!
My final application of the week was for panto. Unfortunately the audition process was something that I had experienced before a couple of years ago, and hadn’t really wished to go through again, but I found myself clicking the ‘send’ button on my email, and it was too late to take it back. Yes my friends, I have entered Panto Factor! To be honest, the thing that swung it for me was the ‘celebrity’ bookings that they have for this year. We can skip over the fact that they have Andy Abraham, but throw in 90s pop star Lolly, and Neighbours very own Dr Karl Kennedy, and that’s a show I want to be a part of! I’m waiting to hear whether they will offer me an audition, but just imagine it, me and Karl on stage together! Now that would make my Christmas!
I woke up slightly happier on Saturday knowing that I’d be performing again, but good lord was it hot!! I arrived in Bedford at around 10.30am and it was already baking hot. There’s barely any free parking in Bedford, so I had to park quite a distance away, and carrying everything I had to take with me was an effort, I had to stop half way for a breather! Luckily I was rescued by the assistant director and I made it the rest of the way with a lighter load. We assembled the gazebo dressing room and awaited the rest of the cast (boys, obviously!) before going over entrances and exits and settling down before the showm started.
We had to be assembled by 1pm, and the heat was crazy. I felt so sorry for the boys in their army clothes. I was fixing my hair before we started and could already feel sweat rolling down my back and into my show pants. (sorry, another actor thing, never knowing when things are too much!)
Lord knows how much water we all went through during the show. Jacob and I couldn’t look at each other lovingly without squinting at each other, and I spent the majority of the play looking at beads of sweat rolling down people’s faces. We were so attractive. The magic of the heat also made the show ten minutes longer, which was insane! It must have been the sheer effort of walking about in the sun that made it impossible to move at a normal pace!
The audience still loved it, despite sitting around like hog roasts, but I didn’t really hang around to speak to anyone. We all ripped off our costumes, and most of the boys stood around in very little to try and get cool. I didn’t envy Alex, whose trousers were drenched in sweat from being tucked into his army boots for a good two hours.
The main thing is that we got through it and we knew that it had to be cooler in the evening. I went into town with Jacob, who was trying to help me find a dress for my friends wedding (and whose hen do I had to miss on Saturday, I apologise again!!) but despite his best efforts to dress me, I found nothing. We spent our last half an hour of freedom drinking outside a bar in the sunshine and had a good old natter about life. It was just what I needed and I started to feel better than I had over the last few days.
Our second show that day was my favourite of the run so far. The audience got in nice and early, and were loving the weather now that it had cooled down, and from the very start, they loved it. They were eating out of the palms of our hand and we knew it! I love shows like that, we didn’t even have to try for laughs, they loved it, I noticed us all putting in a few extras when we knew things would work with the crowd and they responded accordingly. It was brilliant. The severe heat had gone and we were all happy!
We got even happier when we got to the end of the show, packed everything away and headed to the pub afterwards! It was another one of those evenings where I was surrounded by creative people and we could just talk about things and be understood by everyone because we’re all in the same boat,it was marvellous. We didn’t leave the pub until half past midnight, and that was when I realised I hadn’t eaten anything all day! This meant a road trip was in order to find some dirty food! Despite our best efforts, we couldn’t find anywhere open in Bedford with parking, so we ventured further afield, almost to home. A 24 hour McDonald’s came to our rescue at around 1am, and it was the most glorious cheeseburger I have ever had!
We had another nice heart to heart chat before finally surrendering to our sleepy eyes and parting ways at 2.10am. it’s been a while since I haven’t wanted a day to end, but I really didn’t want this one to. My heart sank as I entered Kettering, and I knew that in a few short hours I’d be back to reality working my normal person job, stuck in a town where nothing happens.
Thankfully my day didn’t go too slowly, and it was only thoughts of the previous day that kept me going. That’s the thing with acting and me, it’s the only thing that makes me truly happy. Even if I never act again, it’s given me some amazing memories and allowed me to meet some amazing people, and I’ll always be truly greatful for it.
Nxxx
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