I am not a fisherman…

So I’ve been back home for two weeks and 3 weekends now and I’m more exhausted now than when I was touring, and that was hard going most days!

After doing relatively little on the Saturday after my re-entry to the town, I had to muster up all of my energy on Sunday afternoon to run in the Race for Life at Leicester. It was such a hot day, and my training hadn’t really been going well on tour due to our ridiculous locations, there was absolutely nowhere to run around if I didn’t want to be hit by cars, lorries or tractors.

My mum and dad came to watch, and as we didn’t know where we were going, I got out my trusty sat-nav and we were off! Despite several mocking from my dad about said sat-nav, it got us to the exact spot no problem, 1-0 to me! We parked up and of course being over an hour early as we always are to these events, we sat in the sunshine, me slapping on the factor 30 as quickly as I could.

About half an hour before the race, it was time for the group warm-up. This year I was in for a treat! There were male cheerleaders!! Obviously raving gay but still, a couple of them were nice to look at, plus we all did a routine to S Club 7! It was turning into a flippin good day! Then came the ‘proper’ warm up, which consisted of a couple of salsa-type dance style routines led by a lady who called herself a fitness trainer but didn’t really look like she followed her own advice if you know what I mean!

After a brief tour of the tents selling fitness equipment and pork (yes, pork!), and getting myself a temporary tattoo(!), it was time to line up. I managed to get quite close to the front of the line-up, although I wouldn’t be staying there for very long! To cut a long story short, I did well considering my awful training and the horrible heat and finished in about 36 minutes. Not my best but there’s always next year! :)

Monday brought with it the main reason my parents are glad I’m home... I started my cleaning mission! My mum said she’d let me live here without paying them any money if I did stuff around the house and boy have I done stuff! The whole of the first week back was spent getting covered in dust, grime and anything else disgusting you can imagine! Strangely I’ve been finding it quite therapeutic but I’ve also been gagging, and I’m sure my lungs are full of dust and fumes from cleaning products! But, the house has never been cleaner! I ask any one of you to come round and eat your dinner off any surface! Kim and Aggie would be so proud!

Of course I haven’t forgotten my primary function in life, performing! Rehearsals have been flippin intense! My first Friday rehearsal was an absolute killer! 3 solid hours of dancing... people were sweating so much that we were all dripping onto the floor and I skidded on the floor and nearly broke my neck due to puddles on the floor! It was so good to be back though, and seeing all the shiny Starlight faces was brilliant. The show is going to be amazing, just know it! Plus, I’m here for the whole of the rehearsal process! So exciting! I usually just flap around on stage pretending I know what I’m doing because I haven’t been at rehearsals but I’m gonna kick it this time! Bring it on! People have already been asking to buy tickets and they’re not even on sale yet! It’s 3 months away!!

Rehearsals always bring fun times at Jacc’s after rehearsals. Ok, sometimes we might have a cheeky takeaway on a Friday night but our television watching is my highlight. Every time I come back, Jacc has a new series recorded for us to watch. This time it’s been 60 minute makeover with Claire Sweeney. Just watching her poke her nose in and seeing the looks on her face when some family make strange comments is priceless! And some of the designers are right ponces! Brillliant TV, even if it is fake! No-one can decorate 4 rooms in 6 minutes! Absolute lies!

The next Saturday brought with it my first outing in Kettering town at night since Easter. Let’s just say that the last time we were out there was blood, punches and police and a ‘lifetime ban’ from our favourite bar in town! But there we were, with nothing to do so we decided to be brave and attempt it again! And on the whole it was a very good night! We drank far too much, found a new cocktail bar, I met a lovely new man to chat to, AND we got back into the bar we got banned from and we weren’t even recognised! Jacc made me ask the manager if it was ok to be in there and he looked at me as if I was some sort of freak, he had no idea (although out again this past weekend and he looked and pointed at us while talking to another member of staff... we might have been rumbled!)

Last Monday was an interesting one! Being an unemployed now, I phoned the number to claim some JobSeekers Allowance. If there’s free money going of course I’m going to have some! I’ve got a social life to fund! Usually the initial phone call goes on for quite a while but this one was set to beat all records! I’m not meaning to be racist in any way, but I was shocked and pleased that I got through to an English person... it’s not usually the way any more when you phone these numbers. Anyway, my glee was short-lived when she could barely hear me, the line was awful, and apparently I kept dropping out. It took 5 minutes just to take my name down! Half an hour later, when I’d been asked repeatedly if I was a fisherman(?!?), she managed to get me an appointment for later that day at the job centre to finalise my claim.

I hate the job centre, I always feel like I’m looked down upon just because I have no job and scrounging for money! But to be fair, today’s people that I dealt with were happy and friendly and actually willing to help. And after being asked again if I was a fisherman, they sent me on my way with my little book and told me to look for work... Hmmm! ;)

I was looking forward to the evening. Dancercise was beckoning me! I like Jacc’s dancercise classes, I can actually do the routine and it makes me feel like I’m the best in the class rather than the overweight heifer flapping around at commercial dance on a Friday night! Last week’s routine was to ‘The Club is Alive’ by JLS and it was freakin’ brilliant! I really got my groove on(!) and this time there was a lot more sweat than usual but I didn’t even notice because it was so fun! Nice one Jacc!

I went round to his afterwards because we had a new game to play! Despite being hideously hungover the previous day, he had insisted on dragging us round the car boot sales of the county, but we hit the jackpot in the form of The Crystal Maze board game! A few months ago, in the 60 minute makeover spot we had The Crystal Maze to watch so we snatched it away from the stall for a bargain price of £1! It’s an absolutely amazing game, and I’m not just saying that because I won(!), it was brilliant! I can’t wait to play it again! You get to take people’s crystals if they lose a challenge! Genius! Everybody should play!

And that’s pretty much it actually... Rehearsals, makeovers, cleaning, dancing, crystals, free money... it’s been good! Oh, and of course going to see my beautiful friend Lydia! I know you’re reading! :) Love you x

So now I think I’m going to write a bit more of my musical which hasn’t been touched for a while, and clean the bathroom again! Dancercise tonight, can’t wait!

Nxxx