Money.
Money. What a glorious thing to have. I like money. I just don't have any. Well, I have a few pounds now, but it's hardly enough to get me anywhere.
Acting is a strange career choice. Apart from the fact that you just pretend to be other people all day, I think it's one of the very few careers out there where you have to spend money to earn money. It's all so expensive!
For people to notice you, they have to see your photo. This means having good headshots. I'm getting new headshots taken this Friday, after spending too many years shoving out the old ones. I'm heading down to London to have them taken so that I can get them done by someone well respected and known, rather than taking the risk of counting on someone who might not have done them before and ending up with something awful. I'm paying over £100 for the headshot session, add to that my train fare and petrol money and that's a significant dent in my already low funds.
My casting website of choice costs around £150 for a year, and that's just one website that I use.
Then of course there's travel costs should you use the casting websites, have your headshots seen and manage to get an audition. I've travelled up and down the country to some very random places in the hope of getting work, and most of the time you get rejected. That's a whole day and another handful of money that's just gone.
It's a neverending circle of money draining.
Now of course I have my normal person job to do at weekends. Thankfully that cropped up when it did, and I've been able to afford my headshots this week. I get paid every week from it, which is good, but also bad as I'm terrible for spending money when I shouldn't. I'm trying my best to save up for acting things, but the temptation of buying things is just too strong, and people keep inviting me out for things! I think I need to go into hiding for a while!
I was concerned that I might lose my normal person job over the summer. I've been offered a Shakespeare job, and I wasn't sure whether it would fit in with my job, and I might have to give it up, as obviously, acting comes first. But then what I do for cash once the acting was over? I'd have to go back to the job centre with my tail between my legs and get rejected for help because I left my job for a reason that wouldn't be valid to them. I can't face that. Luckily I spoke to my manager and it looks like everything should work out just fine. I'll probably be the most tired person in town, but at least I can still get some cash in, as well as doing the job that I love. (Acting. Not rollercoaster operating.)
I'm off to play around with some scenes from the Shakespeare play tomorrow, which I am very excited about indeed. I'll be back to work with a fantastic group of ridiculously talented creative people and I can't wait. As nice as the people in my normal person job are, there's a certain feeling you get when you work with creative people that makes you feel brilliant. Maybe it's because we're all so poor that we do crazy things to try and forget it! But who needs money when you can create fantastic drama for other people to enjoy?
That's what it's all about! I wouldn't do anything else...
Nxxx
Monday 29 April 2013
Tuesday 23 April 2013
A-Z of acting: L is for...
Lines… and lying
Lines. I’m good at learning them. I don’t know how I do it, but they magically stick in my head and I’m able to recall them for many many months. I have performed in ‘The Tempest’ twice, playing the same roles, for 3 months at a time, in the years of 2008 and 2009. When it came to the 2009 shows, I only had to glance over the script once to find that all of my lines were still firmly embedded from the year before.
It makes me sound like a naughty actor, but it doesn’t take me long to learn lines at all, which is why I rarely turn up to a job fully off script. Bad Natalie! :/
Despite my wonderful talent for storing lines in my head, I’m often baffled as to why other things don’t stay in my head. I wouldn’t be able to recall the conversation I had with the job centre lady this afternoon, and don’t even ask me what I did yesterday. My brain is a very strange place to be.
I’ve just taken a glance at my acting CV for the year so far, and it looks like people are starting to get hold of the fact that I don’t learn lines before a job… I have managed to get 9 jobs on my CV so far this year, and only 2 of them have required me to actually learn the lines! I’ve done an audiobook, which was just reading out loud, 4 rehearsed readings which were script in hand, an improvised murder mystery, which was just made up as we went along, leaving me with 2 short films in which I barely spoke at all. Am I now just being hired for my facial expressions?!?
I’ve now been in my normal person job for around a month. I’ve managed to keep my age a secret for a while now, but gradually it’s been noted that I’m well above the average age of people in my area. Thankfully they have all been lovely (or good liars) and all of them have thought that I’m around 20 years old, the sweethearts! On Sunday just passed, there was a gigantic group of Scouts, Beavers and Cubs in the park, and a handful of them came down to play on the rides. I was working the log flume, and the boys were obsessed with it, riding round continuously for around half an hour. I’m surprised they weren’t bored, as well as being soaked to the skin. Their man in charge (Akela?) came over to the ride to persuade them to leave and to go on something else.
I indulged him in some polite conversation until he said to me, “What school have you escaped from then?” Baffled, I replied, “Sorry?” He repeated his question. “School? I’m 27!” Now I know people say I don’t look my age, but I’m pretty sure I’m not suffering from a case of the Benjamin Button. He looked stunned for a second before replying “Oh, I thought this place was run by kids.” Brilliant, I’m now a child. He continued, “So what was your employment before this then?” “Oh, I’m an actress, I’m just here to get a bit of money.”
EPIC FAIL.
As you can probably tell by the conversation above, this man has opinions and isn’t afraid to voice them. This was the worst thing I could have said to him. He was one of those people who think they know everything about everything, and promptly launched into a monologue of things he thought he knew about the industry and didn’t stop. I couldn’t even get a word in edgeways. All I could was politely smile and nod as I occasionally pressed the green button to make the boats move.
I thought I would have learned by now. I’ve been acting for almost 6 years now, and every time someone gets wind of what I do, they go on and on about things that they just don’t understand, because they’ve seen a film or watch TV, or have maybe gone to the theatre. To those people, I say please stop. You don’t know what you’re talking about, and I’m too polite to stop you mid-flow to correct you, because I don’t want to embarrass you.
So, my mind is made up. I will announce my career no more. If people wish to believe I am still in school, then in school I will be. I can go back to being 20 years old, I can be a child running a theme park. I often think that acting is about being a good liar, I’m just going to take it into real life.
I’m regressing and turning everything in my life into a huge drama and put it all over Facebook, that seems to be the norm these days!
Nxxx
Lines. I’m good at learning them. I don’t know how I do it, but they magically stick in my head and I’m able to recall them for many many months. I have performed in ‘The Tempest’ twice, playing the same roles, for 3 months at a time, in the years of 2008 and 2009. When it came to the 2009 shows, I only had to glance over the script once to find that all of my lines were still firmly embedded from the year before.
It makes me sound like a naughty actor, but it doesn’t take me long to learn lines at all, which is why I rarely turn up to a job fully off script. Bad Natalie! :/
Despite my wonderful talent for storing lines in my head, I’m often baffled as to why other things don’t stay in my head. I wouldn’t be able to recall the conversation I had with the job centre lady this afternoon, and don’t even ask me what I did yesterday. My brain is a very strange place to be.
I’ve just taken a glance at my acting CV for the year so far, and it looks like people are starting to get hold of the fact that I don’t learn lines before a job… I have managed to get 9 jobs on my CV so far this year, and only 2 of them have required me to actually learn the lines! I’ve done an audiobook, which was just reading out loud, 4 rehearsed readings which were script in hand, an improvised murder mystery, which was just made up as we went along, leaving me with 2 short films in which I barely spoke at all. Am I now just being hired for my facial expressions?!?
I’ve now been in my normal person job for around a month. I’ve managed to keep my age a secret for a while now, but gradually it’s been noted that I’m well above the average age of people in my area. Thankfully they have all been lovely (or good liars) and all of them have thought that I’m around 20 years old, the sweethearts! On Sunday just passed, there was a gigantic group of Scouts, Beavers and Cubs in the park, and a handful of them came down to play on the rides. I was working the log flume, and the boys were obsessed with it, riding round continuously for around half an hour. I’m surprised they weren’t bored, as well as being soaked to the skin. Their man in charge (Akela?) came over to the ride to persuade them to leave and to go on something else.
I indulged him in some polite conversation until he said to me, “What school have you escaped from then?” Baffled, I replied, “Sorry?” He repeated his question. “School? I’m 27!” Now I know people say I don’t look my age, but I’m pretty sure I’m not suffering from a case of the Benjamin Button. He looked stunned for a second before replying “Oh, I thought this place was run by kids.” Brilliant, I’m now a child. He continued, “So what was your employment before this then?” “Oh, I’m an actress, I’m just here to get a bit of money.”
EPIC FAIL.
As you can probably tell by the conversation above, this man has opinions and isn’t afraid to voice them. This was the worst thing I could have said to him. He was one of those people who think they know everything about everything, and promptly launched into a monologue of things he thought he knew about the industry and didn’t stop. I couldn’t even get a word in edgeways. All I could was politely smile and nod as I occasionally pressed the green button to make the boats move.
I thought I would have learned by now. I’ve been acting for almost 6 years now, and every time someone gets wind of what I do, they go on and on about things that they just don’t understand, because they’ve seen a film or watch TV, or have maybe gone to the theatre. To those people, I say please stop. You don’t know what you’re talking about, and I’m too polite to stop you mid-flow to correct you, because I don’t want to embarrass you.
So, my mind is made up. I will announce my career no more. If people wish to believe I am still in school, then in school I will be. I can go back to being 20 years old, I can be a child running a theme park. I often think that acting is about being a good liar, I’m just going to take it into real life.
I’m regressing and turning everything in my life into a huge drama and put it all over Facebook, that seems to be the norm these days!
Nxxx
Sunday 14 April 2013
A-Z of Acting. K is for...
Keep going…
I’m going to sound like a broken record with the amount of times I keep saying that trying to find acting work is hard, but it really is. You have to constantly search for jobs, even when you’re working, you’re always looking for the next thing. No-one wants to be ‘resting’, we need to act!
Last weekend I found myself feeling sad that my two weeks of filming were over and I faced nothing but acting unemployment, and a part time job at my local theme park. With funds running low, I was back to basic membership of my preferred casting website, meaning I could only look at unpaid jobs, so all of the juicy jobs (if there are any about) were out of sight.
I started the week off in my usual spot on the sofa eating breakfast when I received a text message from someone I had recently worked with offering me the chance of working with him on his next project in a more hands-on role. Naturally, I immediately said yes! I was buzzing for the rest of the day, excited that I now had a new project in the pipeline, and that I would be working alongside someone who wants to be a success as much as I do. I sprang to action that night and researched into what my role would entail. (Please note, I am not divulging the nature of the project as I don’t want to jinx it, sorry!)
It was all I could think about for the rest of the week, and I got a bit carried away with creating lists and tables and forms, without even knowing much about what the project was! I love organising things, and I just couldn’t wait to get started! I even made myself a new notebook, and found a folder to keep all of my paperwork in check! I don’t think he knows what he’s let himself in for!
Annoyingly, my part time job featured heavily this week. I’ve just completed four consecutive days of being chirpy and friendly to people in disgusting weather. Friday was terrible. It rained all day. I started work at 10am and finished at 4pm, and it barely stopped. The area that I work in is a walk across a long field away so I ended up going to work in my wellies, I looked ridiculous. There were so many times that day that I wanted to give up and go home, there were no customers, what use was I? The occasional family came in so we had to stay open, and despite the horrendous weather, I’m now glad that I stayed. I’ve earned enough money to be able to book myself in for a headshot session with my chosen photographer. That’s what this job is all about for me, earning enough money to get things I need for my acting career. As much as I might moan about the job, at least it’s getting me what I need.
The Easter holidays are over now, meaning that work is now closed except for weekends, so I’m back to my weekdays of finding things to do. Top of my list is to find an agent, I had my first rejection email a couple of weeks ago, I was just happy to get a response! So if you’re wondering what I’m up to, I’ll most likely be in bed with my copy of Contacts, and perusing the unpaid jobs board. I’ve got to keep going somehow…
Nxxx
I’m going to sound like a broken record with the amount of times I keep saying that trying to find acting work is hard, but it really is. You have to constantly search for jobs, even when you’re working, you’re always looking for the next thing. No-one wants to be ‘resting’, we need to act!
Last weekend I found myself feeling sad that my two weeks of filming were over and I faced nothing but acting unemployment, and a part time job at my local theme park. With funds running low, I was back to basic membership of my preferred casting website, meaning I could only look at unpaid jobs, so all of the juicy jobs (if there are any about) were out of sight.
I started the week off in my usual spot on the sofa eating breakfast when I received a text message from someone I had recently worked with offering me the chance of working with him on his next project in a more hands-on role. Naturally, I immediately said yes! I was buzzing for the rest of the day, excited that I now had a new project in the pipeline, and that I would be working alongside someone who wants to be a success as much as I do. I sprang to action that night and researched into what my role would entail. (Please note, I am not divulging the nature of the project as I don’t want to jinx it, sorry!)
It was all I could think about for the rest of the week, and I got a bit carried away with creating lists and tables and forms, without even knowing much about what the project was! I love organising things, and I just couldn’t wait to get started! I even made myself a new notebook, and found a folder to keep all of my paperwork in check! I don’t think he knows what he’s let himself in for!
Annoyingly, my part time job featured heavily this week. I’ve just completed four consecutive days of being chirpy and friendly to people in disgusting weather. Friday was terrible. It rained all day. I started work at 10am and finished at 4pm, and it barely stopped. The area that I work in is a walk across a long field away so I ended up going to work in my wellies, I looked ridiculous. There were so many times that day that I wanted to give up and go home, there were no customers, what use was I? The occasional family came in so we had to stay open, and despite the horrendous weather, I’m now glad that I stayed. I’ve earned enough money to be able to book myself in for a headshot session with my chosen photographer. That’s what this job is all about for me, earning enough money to get things I need for my acting career. As much as I might moan about the job, at least it’s getting me what I need.
The Easter holidays are over now, meaning that work is now closed except for weekends, so I’m back to my weekdays of finding things to do. Top of my list is to find an agent, I had my first rejection email a couple of weeks ago, I was just happy to get a response! So if you’re wondering what I’m up to, I’ll most likely be in bed with my copy of Contacts, and perusing the unpaid jobs board. I’ve got to keep going somehow…
Nxxx
Sunday 7 April 2013
A-Z of Acting. J is for...
Jilted Freak Productions!
How handy that this week’s blog is for the letter J!
As I mentioned in a previous post, this week I was in Northampton shooting a film called ‘7 Days’, playing a policewoman. (This was the film I talked about where I had the meeting with the dreaded hot seating, aaaagh!!)
I always get excited when I start a new project, and as I was driving over to Northampton on Monday afternoon, I was positively buzzing! As usual, I was the first person to arrive (punctuality should be my middle name… I don’t have one) and then my nerves took hold.
I’ve said before that I dread most first days as I think that the director will realise what a terrible mistake they have made in hiring me, and I’ll be sent home and replaced by a younger, skinnier, prettier girl with more talent in her little finger than I have in the whole of me! This was no exception. Gulp.
I sat and waited for the other actress and the crew to arrive and slowly my nerves started to disappear. I think this was greatly helped by the directors mum! We were all congregating and filming in her house, and she was lovely, chatting away, not even bothered by the fact that we were taking over her house! She’s the sort of mum that you instantly love, I liked it there! :D
My first scenes consisted of window acting! I was supposed to be looking at a house across the street as part of an undercover operation, but I couldn’t help getting nosy for real! If ever I retire, that’s all I’ll do, spy on the outside world, it’s fascinating!!
We moved on to do some outside stuff that included me walking, and going through a gate. Anyone who knows me well will tell you how much of an issue this causes me! I am rubbish with unfamiliar doors and gates! Regular readers will remember how I broke a door handle off during an eventful Cinderella audition, smooth! :/ Thankfully I only screwed up one take with bad gate acting, and the rest ran quite smoothly, phew!
Later on we were back on the stairs, for some more peeping action, but we had to wait for the sun to fade away. As the clocks had gone back a couple of days before, we had to wait for longer than expected. As it was so dark, a light had to be set up outside, facing in the window that we were peeping from. Lighting is always a test for actors. If you can act while being blinded by a megawatt bulb burning your retinas then you’re bloody good if you ask me! It turned out that I would have to go from blinding light to running down stairs in a matter of seconds which concerned me. Stairs have the same effect on me as doors and gates, but this time there would be microphones and cables and other such equipment to dodge, as well as various crew members, while trying to get my eyes to adjust from white to black. Thankfully no technology was harmed during the making of the scene. I think the crew made it out alive too!
I enjoyed the first day, and the director seemed happy, so I went home feeling chuffed, and consumed a glass of wine. Lovely!
My next day on set was Wednesday. This time I wasn’t alone on the drive. I brought the lovely Georgie along with me. Due to someone dropping out (don’t even get me started), I volunteered Georgie for the role of a Polish girl as she was the most eastern European looking person I could think of! I took great delight in helping to find the most hideous costume I could find for her, mwahaha!
Again, there were more walking shots in the morning, and I was gutted that she was a one take wonder, where it had taken me repeated takes walking in that flipping gate! I’m the trained one! Maybe I should go back to walking school!
Later on in the day, more cast members arrived, and we spent a lot of time telling horror stories about companies that we have worked for, and terrible audition experiences. It’s nice to learn things from other people, there are definitely some I’ll avoid from now!
I wasn’t involved in much that day, but as well as getting to know the other cast members, I also gained some knowledge on how to make fake blood! I need to find a project where I can use this information now! I want to make blood!
At the end of the day, I was quite sad to see people go. It’s always strange when you work with someone for a short amount of time, and then realise that you might never see them again. I get attached to people very easily, and it’s a little bit sad when you think you’ve made a bond with someone and then they just disappear. Or maybe I’m just weird…
The final day of filming was on Friday. I was the first one required to shoot, as I would be doing another first for me, driving acting! Well, I don’t suppose it’s really acting if you’re just driving, but the camera was on me so it counts, right?!? I had made an effort on Thursday to make sure that the car was spick and span, so in the freezing cold, I had hoovered the insides and given the outside a thorough wash. Well, police people never have dirty cars, even if they’re undercover!!
It was quite bizarre having someone in the back seat filming me drive, whenever I get a new passenger in the car, my driving becomes awful! I don’t know why! (Wow, I really have issues don’t I!!) I managed to hold it together and I was told we got some good stuff, so then it was on to our final location to film in our mock police station!
I was so excited to be finally out of my dirty black hoodie that I had been wearing for all of my previous scenes, and was able to be in my ‘smart’ police lady clothes! Huzzah!
I was strangely calm about my first scene in this location, which involved walking along a corridor and through a door!! Maybe my issues had been resolved with Mondays gate acting. Could I now be a master gate and door operator?!? Score! We moved downstairs for another scene which would be a police board room. I could do that ok, that was just sitting down! :)
My final scene involved me talking on the phone to the owner of the house that I had been peeping from. Simple enough, but the camera was so close to my face that I wanted to cry. I’ve made no secret of the fact that I prefer theatre to film, and that cameras terrify me, so to have a camera inches from my face wasn’t the most pleasant of circumstances to end on, but I sucked it up and got on with it, I had a job to do!
And that was me done. I drove the director back to his house, before he and the crew made their way to the final location of the shoot, but it was all over for me. I was really sad. I said my goodbyes to director Craig, and was just about to leave when the crew boys called me over to say goodbye properly. Hugs were exchanged, and it was a lovely farewell.
I had so much fun for the whole week. Yes, there were issues like any project has, but everyone was so professional, and everything was resolved with the smallest amount of fuss. When you’re part of a small team working on something, and everyone is putting their all into it, you always feel sad when it’s over, and I’m not going to lie, I did have a little cry on the drive home knowing that I wouldn’t be going back to do more the next day. It had been less than three weeks from the hot seating meeting to the final day of filming, and yet it seemed like a lot longer, and I was really attached to it. Heck, I’d even done research into the police for character research! I hardly ever do that!! ( :/ )
I know I’m not the best actor in the world, if I was, I probably wouldn’t be writing this from my bedroom in my parent’s house right now, but I am so grateful for being given the chance to be a part of the film. My role was also considered a lead, and it was so nice to see that too, instead of having another male dominated piece. Women police can kick ass too! It really infuriates me that women aren’t equally represented in most work, and even if they are, they’re written as weaker characters. Not fair! Anyway, I digress…
They may never want to work with me again, and that’s fine, but I really hope that we all stay in touch. Sometimes you just know when you’ve stumbled across a great bunch of people, and these guys really are. And a big shout out goes to the fabulous director, Craig. He worked so hard on this film, and had a fair amount of challenges to overcome and he did it splendidly. There were times when I thought that if it were me I would have given up, and there he was, still working away to make it what he wanted it to be, and still ended each day with a smile on his face and took the time to thank everyone for their work. I reckon he’s one to watch!
Some people think that acting is an easy job. You turn up, say a few lines, and then go home again. Believe me, that’s not the case. You spend a lot of time working on projects, and it becomes your main focus, everything else gets put to one side and the job is your world. Which is why I felt so empty when I woke up on Saturday morning with nothing to do. I had kept the day free in case filming spilled over to the weekend, but everything had been done, so I was faced with a day (well, half a day, I didn’t wake up til 11.30, film making is tiring!) of contemplation.
When you get so attached to a project, it’s hard to let go, and I honestly didn’t know what to do with myself now that it was all over. Today was worse. I had to go back to my normal person job. Despite the fact that I’ve only been working there for less than two weeks, I really didn’t want to go back today. It takes me approximately ten minutes to walk there, and those ten minutes were the longest of my life. My heart was so heavy, all I could do was sigh weary sighs of sadness. People will probably think that I’m being overly dramatic about the whole situation, but it’s hard to explain to people who don’t work in the arts. It’s an amazing feeling working with creative people who all want to create fantastic new work and are so passionate about it, and then to go back to a job where there is no creativity, just rules and regulations is like a kick in the face.
What got me through the day today was the knowledge that I won’t be stuck in that job forever, I know I’m going to carry on with acting for as long as people employ me. Even if it takes me 5 years to get another acting job, I know that there are people out there who feel the same way that I do about performing and creating and hopefully they will employ me! :)
Nxxx
How handy that this week’s blog is for the letter J!
As I mentioned in a previous post, this week I was in Northampton shooting a film called ‘7 Days’, playing a policewoman. (This was the film I talked about where I had the meeting with the dreaded hot seating, aaaagh!!)
I always get excited when I start a new project, and as I was driving over to Northampton on Monday afternoon, I was positively buzzing! As usual, I was the first person to arrive (punctuality should be my middle name… I don’t have one) and then my nerves took hold.
I’ve said before that I dread most first days as I think that the director will realise what a terrible mistake they have made in hiring me, and I’ll be sent home and replaced by a younger, skinnier, prettier girl with more talent in her little finger than I have in the whole of me! This was no exception. Gulp.
I sat and waited for the other actress and the crew to arrive and slowly my nerves started to disappear. I think this was greatly helped by the directors mum! We were all congregating and filming in her house, and she was lovely, chatting away, not even bothered by the fact that we were taking over her house! She’s the sort of mum that you instantly love, I liked it there! :D
My first scenes consisted of window acting! I was supposed to be looking at a house across the street as part of an undercover operation, but I couldn’t help getting nosy for real! If ever I retire, that’s all I’ll do, spy on the outside world, it’s fascinating!!
We moved on to do some outside stuff that included me walking, and going through a gate. Anyone who knows me well will tell you how much of an issue this causes me! I am rubbish with unfamiliar doors and gates! Regular readers will remember how I broke a door handle off during an eventful Cinderella audition, smooth! :/ Thankfully I only screwed up one take with bad gate acting, and the rest ran quite smoothly, phew!
Later on we were back on the stairs, for some more peeping action, but we had to wait for the sun to fade away. As the clocks had gone back a couple of days before, we had to wait for longer than expected. As it was so dark, a light had to be set up outside, facing in the window that we were peeping from. Lighting is always a test for actors. If you can act while being blinded by a megawatt bulb burning your retinas then you’re bloody good if you ask me! It turned out that I would have to go from blinding light to running down stairs in a matter of seconds which concerned me. Stairs have the same effect on me as doors and gates, but this time there would be microphones and cables and other such equipment to dodge, as well as various crew members, while trying to get my eyes to adjust from white to black. Thankfully no technology was harmed during the making of the scene. I think the crew made it out alive too!
I enjoyed the first day, and the director seemed happy, so I went home feeling chuffed, and consumed a glass of wine. Lovely!
My next day on set was Wednesday. This time I wasn’t alone on the drive. I brought the lovely Georgie along with me. Due to someone dropping out (don’t even get me started), I volunteered Georgie for the role of a Polish girl as she was the most eastern European looking person I could think of! I took great delight in helping to find the most hideous costume I could find for her, mwahaha!
Again, there were more walking shots in the morning, and I was gutted that she was a one take wonder, where it had taken me repeated takes walking in that flipping gate! I’m the trained one! Maybe I should go back to walking school!
Later on in the day, more cast members arrived, and we spent a lot of time telling horror stories about companies that we have worked for, and terrible audition experiences. It’s nice to learn things from other people, there are definitely some I’ll avoid from now!
I wasn’t involved in much that day, but as well as getting to know the other cast members, I also gained some knowledge on how to make fake blood! I need to find a project where I can use this information now! I want to make blood!
At the end of the day, I was quite sad to see people go. It’s always strange when you work with someone for a short amount of time, and then realise that you might never see them again. I get attached to people very easily, and it’s a little bit sad when you think you’ve made a bond with someone and then they just disappear. Or maybe I’m just weird…
The final day of filming was on Friday. I was the first one required to shoot, as I would be doing another first for me, driving acting! Well, I don’t suppose it’s really acting if you’re just driving, but the camera was on me so it counts, right?!? I had made an effort on Thursday to make sure that the car was spick and span, so in the freezing cold, I had hoovered the insides and given the outside a thorough wash. Well, police people never have dirty cars, even if they’re undercover!!
It was quite bizarre having someone in the back seat filming me drive, whenever I get a new passenger in the car, my driving becomes awful! I don’t know why! (Wow, I really have issues don’t I!!) I managed to hold it together and I was told we got some good stuff, so then it was on to our final location to film in our mock police station!
I was so excited to be finally out of my dirty black hoodie that I had been wearing for all of my previous scenes, and was able to be in my ‘smart’ police lady clothes! Huzzah!
I was strangely calm about my first scene in this location, which involved walking along a corridor and through a door!! Maybe my issues had been resolved with Mondays gate acting. Could I now be a master gate and door operator?!? Score! We moved downstairs for another scene which would be a police board room. I could do that ok, that was just sitting down! :)
My final scene involved me talking on the phone to the owner of the house that I had been peeping from. Simple enough, but the camera was so close to my face that I wanted to cry. I’ve made no secret of the fact that I prefer theatre to film, and that cameras terrify me, so to have a camera inches from my face wasn’t the most pleasant of circumstances to end on, but I sucked it up and got on with it, I had a job to do!
And that was me done. I drove the director back to his house, before he and the crew made their way to the final location of the shoot, but it was all over for me. I was really sad. I said my goodbyes to director Craig, and was just about to leave when the crew boys called me over to say goodbye properly. Hugs were exchanged, and it was a lovely farewell.
I had so much fun for the whole week. Yes, there were issues like any project has, but everyone was so professional, and everything was resolved with the smallest amount of fuss. When you’re part of a small team working on something, and everyone is putting their all into it, you always feel sad when it’s over, and I’m not going to lie, I did have a little cry on the drive home knowing that I wouldn’t be going back to do more the next day. It had been less than three weeks from the hot seating meeting to the final day of filming, and yet it seemed like a lot longer, and I was really attached to it. Heck, I’d even done research into the police for character research! I hardly ever do that!! ( :/ )
I know I’m not the best actor in the world, if I was, I probably wouldn’t be writing this from my bedroom in my parent’s house right now, but I am so grateful for being given the chance to be a part of the film. My role was also considered a lead, and it was so nice to see that too, instead of having another male dominated piece. Women police can kick ass too! It really infuriates me that women aren’t equally represented in most work, and even if they are, they’re written as weaker characters. Not fair! Anyway, I digress…
They may never want to work with me again, and that’s fine, but I really hope that we all stay in touch. Sometimes you just know when you’ve stumbled across a great bunch of people, and these guys really are. And a big shout out goes to the fabulous director, Craig. He worked so hard on this film, and had a fair amount of challenges to overcome and he did it splendidly. There were times when I thought that if it were me I would have given up, and there he was, still working away to make it what he wanted it to be, and still ended each day with a smile on his face and took the time to thank everyone for their work. I reckon he’s one to watch!
Some people think that acting is an easy job. You turn up, say a few lines, and then go home again. Believe me, that’s not the case. You spend a lot of time working on projects, and it becomes your main focus, everything else gets put to one side and the job is your world. Which is why I felt so empty when I woke up on Saturday morning with nothing to do. I had kept the day free in case filming spilled over to the weekend, but everything had been done, so I was faced with a day (well, half a day, I didn’t wake up til 11.30, film making is tiring!) of contemplation.
When you get so attached to a project, it’s hard to let go, and I honestly didn’t know what to do with myself now that it was all over. Today was worse. I had to go back to my normal person job. Despite the fact that I’ve only been working there for less than two weeks, I really didn’t want to go back today. It takes me approximately ten minutes to walk there, and those ten minutes were the longest of my life. My heart was so heavy, all I could do was sigh weary sighs of sadness. People will probably think that I’m being overly dramatic about the whole situation, but it’s hard to explain to people who don’t work in the arts. It’s an amazing feeling working with creative people who all want to create fantastic new work and are so passionate about it, and then to go back to a job where there is no creativity, just rules and regulations is like a kick in the face.
What got me through the day today was the knowledge that I won’t be stuck in that job forever, I know I’m going to carry on with acting for as long as people employ me. Even if it takes me 5 years to get another acting job, I know that there are people out there who feel the same way that I do about performing and creating and hopefully they will employ me! :)
Nxxx
Saturday 6 April 2013
A-Z of Acting. I is for...
Inspiration
Every actor has a reason for why they decided to follow this career choice but I can’t really think of anything specific that sent me down this route.
The first time I applied to go to university, I applied for Geography course, until it became apparent that I was shockingly bad at Geography! So by the time the next year rolled around, I thought about what I was actually good at (my choices were extremely limited). I couldn’t think of anything that sprang to mind, my exam results were average at GCSE and appalling at A-Level. Thanks to my pushy mother who made my brother and I do something every day after school when we were children, I found that the only thing I really enjoyed was performing.
There was my option. I don’t think that when I was applying to universities that I really thought I had a chance of a career in acting. I think it was mainly down to moving away from home for three years that was the main attraction.
As my course continued and results came in, I found that I was actually alright at it, and by the time I graduated I was ready to do it for real!
I was always someone who would cry at films, but before I trained, I was never inspired by any actors to give it a go myself, but that’s all changed now.
Any actor will tell you that they are always trying to be better at their craft. If you want to keep working, you have to push yourself to be better than everyone else in order to land the jobs that you want (or maybe don’t want but need!)
Inspiration has become a big part of my acting. I remember clearly the first time it hit me. I was in my final year of training and one of my favourite television programmes had its debut. Yes, I’m talking about the ever-fabulous ‘Torchwood’. I remember sitting on my bed and crying when it had finished because I knew in that instant that that is what I wanted to be doing.
I watch things now, and see such great performances from people, mainly women(!), that it makes me want to be as good as them, and I know that I never want to give this up, no matter how many more years my parents have to put up with me living in their house, or how many hours I have to put in in ‘normal’ jobs to earn the money to go to auditions to chase down what I want.
It’s also worked the other way too. I spent the best part of four years touring the country performing various plays in schools, and despite the trials and tribulations, one of the nicest things to happen was having children coming up to me afterwards saying how much they enjoyed the play, and telling me that I was a good actress and that they wanted to do the same thing with their lives. Who would have thought that I could be an inspiration?!?
I hope that any aspiring actors who read this blog are not put off by my rantings of the hard times in the industry, but are inspired by the fact that I keep pushing forward and keep working hard. Who knows what the future might bring… I might be writing this from a trailer in Hollywood one day!
Nxxx
Every actor has a reason for why they decided to follow this career choice but I can’t really think of anything specific that sent me down this route.
The first time I applied to go to university, I applied for Geography course, until it became apparent that I was shockingly bad at Geography! So by the time the next year rolled around, I thought about what I was actually good at (my choices were extremely limited). I couldn’t think of anything that sprang to mind, my exam results were average at GCSE and appalling at A-Level. Thanks to my pushy mother who made my brother and I do something every day after school when we were children, I found that the only thing I really enjoyed was performing.
There was my option. I don’t think that when I was applying to universities that I really thought I had a chance of a career in acting. I think it was mainly down to moving away from home for three years that was the main attraction.
As my course continued and results came in, I found that I was actually alright at it, and by the time I graduated I was ready to do it for real!
I was always someone who would cry at films, but before I trained, I was never inspired by any actors to give it a go myself, but that’s all changed now.
Any actor will tell you that they are always trying to be better at their craft. If you want to keep working, you have to push yourself to be better than everyone else in order to land the jobs that you want (or maybe don’t want but need!)
Inspiration has become a big part of my acting. I remember clearly the first time it hit me. I was in my final year of training and one of my favourite television programmes had its debut. Yes, I’m talking about the ever-fabulous ‘Torchwood’. I remember sitting on my bed and crying when it had finished because I knew in that instant that that is what I wanted to be doing.
I watch things now, and see such great performances from people, mainly women(!), that it makes me want to be as good as them, and I know that I never want to give this up, no matter how many more years my parents have to put up with me living in their house, or how many hours I have to put in in ‘normal’ jobs to earn the money to go to auditions to chase down what I want.
It’s also worked the other way too. I spent the best part of four years touring the country performing various plays in schools, and despite the trials and tribulations, one of the nicest things to happen was having children coming up to me afterwards saying how much they enjoyed the play, and telling me that I was a good actress and that they wanted to do the same thing with their lives. Who would have thought that I could be an inspiration?!?
I hope that any aspiring actors who read this blog are not put off by my rantings of the hard times in the industry, but are inspired by the fact that I keep pushing forward and keep working hard. Who knows what the future might bring… I might be writing this from a trailer in Hollywood one day!
Nxxx
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