Seasons Greetings!

Merry Christmas everyone, I hope you had a fantastic festive few days!

I promise I'll be back soon with my American antics!

Hope you all have a very happy new year, and I'll see you in 2014! :)

Nxxx

Fear

Hello one and all! Apologies if you've been eagerly awaiting blog updates (I'm sure you probably haven't been) but I've been quite busy for a change!

So, I think the last time I was with you, I was just about to start working at Thorpe Park for Fright Nights. If you're unaware what this is, basically around the time of Halloween, theme parks all over get a bit creepy and people come along and pay to have their pants scared off.

I was at Thorpe Park in Surrey, which was in connection with Lionsgate Films, so all of our scare mazes were themed as their films. We had Saw, the Blair With Project, The Cabin in The Woods, You're Next and My Bloody Valentine. I was in The Cabin in The Woods and I had the best fun ever!

Unfortunately I can't tell you much about it, as I signed a contract about putting stuff on the internet, plus the mazes are going to be used again for the next two years and I wouldn't want to spoil it for anyone if you go!

I wasn't sure whether I would like the job or not, I'd never done scare acting before and I had my usual nerves about being found out as a fraud and getting sacked on my first day! I was still nervous during rehearsals, everyone seemed to be throwing themselves into with gusto and I felt like I didn't belong. I'm the funny one, I don't do scary!

I was really lucky in my maze as every day I got to play a different character, our maze had lots of different zones and if you've seen the film, you know that there are a lot of characters! This meant I got to learn (and make up) lots of different scare tactics... Even though my favourite was hiding behind doors or in dark corners and jumping out at people!

I never though that I'd get such a buzz from scaring people! People's reactions were hilarious. There was the natural reaction of screaming, the painful reaction of striking out and hitting me, the unbelievable reaction of people actually falling to the floor in terror, and on my first weekend, a Chinese man putting his hand in my mouth...

The people I worked with in my maze were fabulous too, we had such a mix of people but they were all brilliant! We were spaced quite close to each other in the maze so we got to scare with each other, and we were able to strike the fear into people as a group which was fabulous. I'm glad I wasn't a guest coming through, as facing a group of zombies on my own would have creeped me out, and I know all of the techniques now!

I stayed in a hotel when I was working there, and despite its budget nature the job made it worth it. I'd love to go back next year if they'll have me. Scaring might be my new favourite thing!

However, the fear that I made people experience is nothing compared to the fear I'm feeling at the moment. As I write this there are only eleven days until I fly out to the USA to perform! In eighteen days time I'll be doing my first performance!

Most of the time I feel okay about it, and I'm very excited to be visiting there for the first time, but every know and then I think about the fact that I'm going out there to do a play by myself and I get absolutely terrified. My nerves are so bad that I've been feeling sick. I've never been that bad! I think it's because I'm in a different country, if I was doing it over here I'd be fine.

But what if the Americans think I'm terrible? What if they don't understand a word I'm saying due to my horrible Kettering accent that's fought its way back?!? What if they hate it? The man who's in charge of it over there emailed me on Friday to give me some info, and he told me that he's a huge Alan Bennett fan... what if I ruin it for him?? I'm terrified!

There are a few others performing too, but from what I've gathered they've been doing their shows for years so theirs are going to be fabulous. I'm just a girl from Kettering who's done a few rehearsals and hoping for the best!

I'm sure I'll be fine once I get there but for now I'm just sitting here in a panic, eek!

I promise I'll be back here before I go, but for now I'm going to sit in a corner with my script!

Nxxx

Acting by numbers... 0

Zero. This little digit is constantly on my brain right now, and terrifying me.

I'm used to having very little money, as most of my acting work barely pays anything, and should I make any money from my acting work, it's almost immediately ploughed back in to funding my career. I was glad to have had my normal person job over the summer because I was receiving an almost decent wage, and my bank balance was looking quite healthy for a while. But I'm awful at checking my balance, and very good at spending money without paying attention to how much is going out of my account.

This morning, that zero is flashing at me like a warning sign, and I don't like it. I know things will be okay once get paid, but pay day seems a very long way away right now.

I'm hoping that the money issue is just on my mind to mask my nerves about starting my job at Thorpe Park. I'm really looking forward to it, but yet again, first day nerves are kicking in. Tomorrow is my first day of rehearsals, the day that I fear in every new job. Where they find out that I'm a fraud, can't act, and send me home.

Bank balance: 0, confidence:0

Maybe it's just because I'll be away from home again not knowing anyone. I've got too comfortable being back at home. What a wimp. I've done it before, plenty of times, but it seems that as I'm getting older, more concerns are finding their way into my brain. I think I just need a hug, or someone to hold my hand for a while.

I had my induction day on Saturday, and everyone seemed lovely, so I'm sure I'll have a good time, but I can't shift those pesky thoughts. Gulp! I feel more terrified than the customers will be in my maze!! Haha!

I need to think back to when I graduated from my acting course. I thought the world was mine, and for a while it was, I was pretty much constantly employed in acting work for four years, go me! And to be fair, I've done pretty well this year too, yes I've had to give in to normal person jobs, but thinking back on the year, I've had a 100% success rate on auditions! And have actually had to turn a well paid job down because someone saw what I can do and offered me a fantastic opportunity. That's pretty good, right?


Sometimes I do wish that I could go back to do another course somewhere. I waved goodbye to another bunch of friends off to start university last week. They were all nervous about fleeing the town, and sad to be leaving people behind (but they'll soon realise how awful our town is and won't want to come back!)

I'm not jealous of them going, I've done it all myself, but I do think it would be nice to do it all again, especially seeing all of their freshers photos popping up, even on the first night of moving there! (Yes, Georgie Crotty, I'm talking about you! Forgot about K-Town pretty quickly didn't you?!? ;) )


But maybe I should see this job as that. I'm going there with no friends, shoved into a new town, I'll be working intimately with people in a large box for a few weeks, I won't be able to escape! Yes, actors can be insanely annoying, but that's a risk I'm going to have to take. I may never see them again once the job is over, but I'm going to make the most of the job while it's there, there's no use hiding in the corner (apart from when I'm actually working!)

That zero is still on my mind, but what's the worst that could happen? I can't afford my hotel so I have to sleep in the car? So be it. Bring it on.

I'm working in the 'The Cabin in the Woods' maze, so it only seems fitting to quote the film as I end this post.

An army of monsters, huh? Let's get this party started!

Nxxx

Acting by numbers... 3, the magic number?

So, after a few weeks of cryptic notes scattered throughout these blog posts, I'm finally going to reveal to you my secret project, coming this December. You lucky things!

Naturally there will be a few ramblings first, I'm not that good to you! It's been quite a productive week actually, things are moving in the right direction and I'm pretty much set now for the rest of 2013, which is good, as my normal person job is rapidly coming to an end, with either one or three shifts left.

I headed back to Bedford on Monday to catch up with the lovely (don't tell him I said that) Ivan, who I have had the pleasure of performing with on a handful of occasions. We sat in the pub, drank our afternoon away and naturally discussed jobs, the lack of, and how we're going to take over Germany. Yep, watch out! Mid-way through our shenanigans, I received a phone call from London. Not knowing many people in London Town I warily answered, but it was a job offer! Lovely. I'll be heading back to Peterborough next month to record another book for the RNIB.

The book arrived the next day and I stared at it in disbelief. The thing is huge! I'm booked in for eight days of recording. The last book I did was four days and I almost went insane doing that one, sat in a room with no windows listening to the sound of my own voice. Still, it's a challenge!!

Thankfully I'll be breaking up the days with my other job for next month, working down at Thorpe Park! Yep, I'm swapping one theme park for another! This time I'm not going to be a humble ride operator, oh no. This time I'm going to be scaring the pants off people, for fright nights!

S half of my week will be spent in a box in Peterborough, with the rest of my week spent inside a box in Surrey with people screaming at me. By the time I emerge in November I doubt I'll realise what daylight is any more. Maybe I'll get rickets!!

I'm obviously excited to be working, but it also means I get a nice bundle of cash together for when my secret project starts. Which brings us back to Monday. After Ivan had got me tipsy in the pub(!) I made my way to the lovely David's house for my first meeting and read-through.

As David was explaining things to me and telling me what would be happening, I was getting increasingly nervous and it's not even happening until December! But happening it is. I am joining David's company, Blackout Theatre Company, and travelling to Kansas City, Missouri, USA! Yep, my American acting debut is happening! I'm performing one of Alan Bennett's Talking Heads monologues, Her Big Chance. My first performance in America is a solo show. To say I'm terrified is an understatement.

I'm already starting to panic. I've got to fit rehearsals around both Thorpe Park and the audiobook, I'm going to be absolutely exhausted! I do thrive when I'm busy but I'm hoping I haven't bitten off more than I can chew!

I've spent the rest of my week in bed with the book trying to get through as much of it as I can before my Thorpe Park induction on Saturday, as from then on it's full steam ahead until mid-November. Eek.

While taking a break from reading I've also been trying to find accommodation down in Surrey for fright nights. It's proven quite tricky but I managed to book somewhere for half of my stay. It wasn't until the next day I looked on TripAdvisor and found the shockingly bad reviews. Oh we'll, I'm hoping I'll be busy enough to only have to sleep there, nothing else!

Annoyingly I've had to pay upfront for it, and my next decent pay day won't be until the end of October so it might be back to the student diet of Pot Noodle and biscuits for me next month, although my hotel room doesn't even have a kettle. The things I do for my art.

It's been a time for moving on this week too. I unexpectedly received an email from a guy I did a play with back in Bournemouth when I was studying, and he told me he had made the move to London to give acting a go up there. I was so pleased for him, I remember him being excellent in the play we did, and he told me back then that he'd like to be an actor, so I was excited to hear he'd made the move.

Today I also bade a sad farewell to four of my colleagues at my normal person job. They are all off to university, all in different years, but still, flying the nest again. It was sad to see them go. I didn't think that I'd enjoy my job as much as I have, but it's all been down to the people I've worked with. Yea, there's been a significant age gap between us, but they didn't know that for quite a while, and I've felt like I've gained a whole new group of friends.

I don't know if I'll be returning to the job next year, or if they will, but they've made my summer fun, and although there were days when I really didn't want to go to work, and was having my mini-breakdown over my acting career, they always managed to put a smile on my face. Working at a theme park can actually be fun!

It's all going to be over in a couple of weeks, but I've still got three more jobs to do before the year is out.

I'll be all over the country again, popping here and there, stretching myself thin with rehearsals and performances, but you know what? I know I won't be happier. 2012 was an amazing year for me, and I didn't think I'd top it, but 2013 is doing a pretty good job of catching up! With three and a half months left to go, who knows what could happen!

Nxxx

Acting limbo...

Ugh. Right now I’m in actors no mans land and it’s frustrating!

I have two potential projects that would have me sorted for the rest of the year, but both are still not 100% confirmed and I’m starting to get concerned.

One is my secret project that is happening in December. Today I have had further information regarding this project so I’m not as concerned by it as I was. However, earlier this week, I had to make a decision around it that made me feel quite ill. Regular readers may remember that a couple of posts back, I had an audition for panto and got the job. I had secured the audition for this before my secret project was offered to me, but once I had found out about the secret project, I wasn’t too fussed by the audition.

This always happens to me, if I really want a job, chances are I won’t get it, but if there’s something that I’m just going along to without having many thoughts about it, I’ll get the job, no problem.
I received an email from the panto company last weekend asking if I was still interested in the job, and later that day, I had to reply to say that I wouldn’t be taking it after all. I explained fully my secret project and said that I hoped we could work together in the future.

It wasn’t until a couple of hours later that I realised my reason for not working with them was probably the most outrageous thing she had ever read as an excuse for not working for them, but it was too late.

The thought of turning down acting work initially sounded... not fun, but felt slightly good, I was in demand and had to make choices of who to work for, but as I clicked ‘send’ I felt sick. What if my secret project fell through? I had just turned down a job where I could make a nice bundle of cash ready for Christmas and the new year, for a project where I’m going to make no money at all. I know in my heart that I’ve made the right decision but it was absolutely terrifying.

I also had to turn down another audition that I had booked in for this Saturday. Well, I didn’t have to, but I didn’t think it would be worth wasting people’s time turning up for an audition for a job that I knew I wouldn’t be taking. I was gutted though, it was for panto in Sevenoaks, where if successful, I’d be working alongside Karl Kennedy from Neighbours! Who wouldn’t want that?!? Sad times.


I’m now also waiting to hear back from another audition that I had a couple of weeks ago. I didn’t have the appropriate documents to hand when I went for my audition, and was told that if successful, I would need to show them before I started the job. Fair enough. I received a message from them last week asking me to bring them down. I wondered if this was a good sign, they didn’t specify whether I had got the job or not. I emailed them a scanned copy and explained that I couldn’t get down there due to work restrictions on my normal person job. I was told that they would need to see them in the flesh, ‘once we have this we will then be able to send out your contract to you’. I saw this as a good sign, but still hadn’t been officially offered anything.

I travelled down yesterday with the things I needed, and after a prompting email from myself, received confirmation that things had been received and were with the correct department but I’m still none the wiser! I would absolutely love the job, and the cash would be a fabulous addition to my pot for my secret project, but I’d just like to know what’s going on!

Do I keep applying for acting work as I haven’t officially got anything? Do I apply for more normal person jobs that I’d only need for a month or so? I just don’t know what to do!

If people could just respond to me, that would be lovely, it’s not too much to ask is it?!?

Nxxx

Listen to your elders, 'tis better to have loved and lost, and other such phrases...

Tonights blog entry comes from a heavy heart. Unfortunately yesterday, time was called on my relationship with my other half. I'm not going to get all mopey about it, it was a mutual decision, but still, sad all the same.

Annoyingly, the same thoughts have popped into my head as from when my previous two relationships ended. My course leader from my actor training once said something that has always stuck in my head. He said, "In this industry, you either choose your career, or you choose a relationship." Being a young eager student, I looked at him and thought he was talking rubbish. There he was, a married man, teaching us while still having an acting career. I thought, well if he can do it, so can I!

It seems that he was right after all. My career is to blame. Even though I'm not currently rehearsing or performing anything, it's still crept up and bitten me on the behind.

Acting is non-stop, I'm currently working my normal person job during the day, but as soon as I get home I'm onto casting websites searching for acting jobs, sending off my CV and hoping for the best. I had a day off yesterday, but the majority of it was spent driving down the country's motorways for an audition which lasted only a quarter of my drive time. I'm always searching for the next thing and it's exhausting. If I'm not doing any of the above, I'm attempting to hone my skills in singing and dance classes.

In the end, it just got too much for us, I was so busy that I was barely seeing him, and when I did, I was too exhausted to focus on what was going on. I thought I'd have fun this summer, and I have, but I underestimated how hard it would be to juggle a normal job with acting, after spending so much time unemployed.

I think it's very hard to understand the industry when you're not in it, and (I might be extremely wrong and jumping to conclusions here) I don't think the other half quite realised how much it actually means to me. People seem to be happy for you when you have an acting job, but because they rarely lasts more than a couple of months, it begins to look more like a hobby than a career choice.

We work so hard to get acting work, and before you know it, the job is finished, you probably never see the people you've worked with again, and you're left with a big hole in your heart wondering what you're going to do next. As much as you have people around you that care about you, an actors head is the loneliest place to be.

There's constant self doubt about how you look, if you actually have any acting talent, and questioning why you didn't get a certain job that you were positive you were right for.

I was really saddened on Monday to hear about the death of another actor, Lee Thompson Young. He was an actor most recently in Rizzoli & Isles, a programme that I'm not familiar with, and to be honest, I hadn't even heard of Lee, but it's sad to know that even when you're a high profile actor in a successful TV show, you still have these thoughts and doubts. Lee allegedly took his own life, and died at the age of 29.

Richard Gent, Paul Bhattacharjee and Cory Monteith have also left us recently, and especially in the case of Cory, I was shocked that people who seemed to have it all could feel the way that they did.

Last month I felt like giving it all up, I seemed to be getting nowhere, and was watching everyone else getting work that I wanted to be doing. But I knew deep down that it's the only thing I can do. A friend said to me last night that I should be congratulated for my ongoing perseverance in a tough industry. I was flattered at the time, but thinking about it, I don't think that I should. If you want something badly enough you will work yourself ridiculously hard until you get it, no matter what it is.

I know I'm lazy compared to some actors, but I do work hard to keep going, and yes, sometimes it is hard to put the smile on my face when you're constantly getting battered back down to step one again. But I don't have a choice. The thought of doing anything else makes me shiver. It's not that I don't want to do anything else, I can't do anything else, I have to make this work.

My upcoming secret project that I'm still keeping a secret has boosted my confidence so much. I've not been completely happy with some of the performances that I've given this year, but to have been seen in that and still asked to do this project shows that at least one person out there has seen my potential and thinks that I stand a chance of doing a half-decent job, and that's good enough for me.

I had fun in my relationship, it was the first one I've had where the other person wasn't involved in the industry somehow, and it was refreshing, but maybe it's time to return to the people that I know. People who know exactly what it feels like to wrench yourself away from a group of creatives and sit bewildered at real life wondering how you're going to pay your next bills. People who aren't afraid of singing out loud in public, dancing through the streets. People like me, who love being in that acting bubble and refuse to give it up, even if you do have to sacrifice the things and people that you love.

Letting go of someone you care about hurts like hell, but sometimes you have to do it for the sake of the other person.

Doug, you were right. Chris, I'm sorry. And thank you for putting up with me for so long. As you would say, you're a great bloke!

Nxxx

The first panto audition of 2013... Oh yes it was!

Sorry, couldn't resist!

But yes, I did indeed have my first pantomime audition of the year at the weekend. I had applied for the job a few weeks back, when regular readers will know that I was having a horrible time of it.

Every actor has their down moments, and mine didn't look like it was going to shift anywhere quickly. I had sent off what felt like hundreds of job applications (in reality it was probably close to twenty due to the ridiculous nature of the business and trying to find any job that I might be able to squeeze myself into the casting bracket for), and I was getting nowhere.

On my casting website of choice, you are able to see when an employer that you have applied to has viewed your profile, and to see that the majority of them had looked at me and decided that my face didn't fit was making me feel worse.

And then I got a response! And it was more than a response, it was an audition offer! I couldn't believe it! They had been quite sneaky in their casting by not revealing their company name, but once I received their email, I could see that I had auditioned for them before, two years ago. They hadn't wanted me then, but apparently were very impressed with me and would like to see me again.

I then had to source my audition material. I'm not ashamed to say that I've been quite lazy. When the same companies hire me again and again, I feel like I don't need to keep audition pieces to hand/in my head. Big mistake. Never do that, always store stuff, I know it'll come to bite me in the arse soon enough!

Anyway, I had to prepare a monologue suitable for children and a song. I began to worry. I couldn't for the life of me remember what I had done for them before. I decided to take a risk and go with a monologue that I've used a couple of times before that has got me work, so I thought I'd be safe. My song choice was easy, I went with 'Someday' from The Wedding Singer. My monologue was in the form of an ugly sister character, and my song was a nice girl song, so I had two contrasting pieces. See, it's almost like I know what I'm doing!

Naturally I left it until audition week to really rehearse. I don't sing in the house if people are in, and my day off from normal person work coincided with my dad playing golf, so I annoyed the hell out of my neighbours by singing all afternoon! I didn't do a proper warm-up either so the first twenty minutes were dreadful! Sorry guys, but that's my revenge for keeping me awake with your singing when I was a child!!

Audition day rolled around, and I had been told that the audition would start at 9.30am. Ugh. I cast my mind back to the last time that I auditioned for the company and remembered that we had done a large group audition before doing our individual speeches and songs. I was happy with that set up, I did some vocal warm ups in the car on the way, and sang the hell out of my song, but didn't do too much as I knew that I would get warmed up working with other people.

I arrived at around 9.10am. I recognised the company owners car from my previous audition, but no-one else seemed to be around. I wasn't concerned, I'm the first person to arrive at auditions 90% of the time. Time ticked on, and no-one else turned up. Panic and nerves set in. Was that the right car? Was I in the right place? Had they changed the date and I hadn't got the email?

At 9.25 I decided to venture into the building. The door was open so I tentatively made my way inside, calling out a hopeful "Hello?" on my way. I walked in further and saw a man standing in the centre of the room, he stopped what he was doing and smiled at me. I heard a female voice say hello at me, I took a couple of steps into the room to see the face it had come from, and I realised that I had interrupted the poor boy's audition. Well done Natalie.

I took a seat outside the room while he carried on, and picked up the first magazine that I saw and pretended to read it while listening in. My heart went out to him. He was in a proper pickle, and I knew that I had been in his shoes a few times before. He got to the same point in his speech every time and forgot it in exactly the same place. Despite my thoughts that he had chosen a very strange option for a kids panto (I recognised it as being from A Midsummer Nights Dream), I was willing him on to do well. I didn't know who he was, I'll probably never see him again, but although actors are fiercely competitive when it comes to landing roles, I wasn't up against him, and I wanted him to do so well!

He gave me a slight smile as he left the room, and I wanted to apologise for barging in on his audition, but I thought the poor boy felt bad enough as it was, I just smiled and lowered my head to my mountain biking magazine.

The company owner, Laura, then came out and chatted to me before I did my audition. She asked what I had done since I last saw her, what I was up to now, and we had a chat about touring life and what the job would entail. It has been two and a bit years since my last proper tour, but what she was telling me brought it all back, and it felt like I was almost back behind the wheel of a transit van once more...

We moved into the audition room and I did my speech, which went quite well considering I only practised it out loud once on the car journey there. Then it was song time. I hadn't taken my music on CD so had to song unaccompanied, which was fine, as my backing track wasn't in the best key for my voice(!). Considering how nervous I get at singing auditions, I held it together and managed to not hit any bum notes, result!
I had to do one more little exercise which was to recite a nursery rhyme in the style of a comedy character, with an accent. Easy. Bashed that out in 30 seconds!

And that was it! Audition over. No group work, nothing. I didn't even see anyone else going in as I left. I was home again by 10.15 and had the day to myself. Lovely!

I had a fairly good day today, apart from someone I work with ticking me off slightly, but I ended my shift and noticed that I had a missed call and a voicemail message. I raced to hear what it was and... I got offered the job! Boom!

I called them back to accept the job, with mixed thoughts running around my head. I won't say what it is yet, but a few weeks ago I was asked if I was free for a certain opportunity that would be happening in December. This opportunity would be amazing, but it hasn't been confirmed yet.

So I might have a big decision to make. Do I go for a tour that I have been offered and would guarantee me money just in time for Christmas, or do I go with the opportunity that could possibly get me further ahead in the game? I know in my head what it is that I want to do, I just have to wait for people to get back to me and then make my choice.

A few weeks ago in my down phase I never thought that I would have to make a choice like this, but now that I do, I feel lucky that I'm kind of in demand! It seems that all of my tears and heartache might have been worth it after all.

Watch this space...

Nxxx

An actors life for me... please

Last week I thought that with all summer performances under my belt, I'd have time to sit back, relax and finally have some time to sleep and eat. Turns out I was wrong.

When I'm not doing acting jobs, you can normally find me (if my parents are out) sprawled out on the sofa indulging in an afternoon episode of Diagnosis Murder or three, regularly picking up my phone to check the latest castings that inevitably I'm not suitable for. This hasn't happened for a while, and I'm starting to miss Dick Van Dyke.

I dragged myself out of bed on Monday morning to begin my four days straight of normal person work. I wasn't as miserable as I thought I would be, I'd had a good week of performing the previous week, so I think my spirits were still high.
It got better throughout the day, as I found out that I had actually made money from the play that I was in! And it was a lot more than I was expecting too! The afternoon whizzed by in a happy blur after that! I've done quite a lot of jobs this year, but have only been paid for about two of them, and both weren't a great deal of money. But my bank manager would be happy to see this going into my account. Either that, or puzzled! Paid from a job? Crazy!

My good mood continued on Tuesday despite being at work again. It was very quiet all day, and staff were being sent home. I had to put my foot down when I was asked to go home just over half way into my shift. I have an acting career to fund, I can't just go home when there's money to be earned!

Wednesday was a completely different ball game. It rained constantly all day. I volunteered to go home as soon as I could. I worked for two and a half hours before I skipped merrily across the field and home. It was a good job I did really. As I had been stupidly busy, I hadn't had time to tidy up anything from the previous weeks performances, and the house was not looking the best!

I had Shakespeare costumes and props littering every available surface in my bedroom, and every single costume (and there was a lot) from my dance show at the weekend had been carelessly hurled onto the floor, in a horrible damp sweaty heap. I wasn't proud. As soon as I got home, I voyaged into town and picked up a few last minute pieces that I needed for my attendance at a wedding and returned to face my own filth. It took a long time, but finally everything was back in order and peace was restored. I was feeling good, but things got a lot better when I heard from an old touring chum later that night. He told me that he was casting for performers at Thorpe Park for later in the year and that I should apply. Everything that he told me sounded fantastic, and I immediately filled in the application form and hoped for the best. I need work and I need to sort it now!

Work flew by on Thursday and I couldn't have been happier, Friday was wedding day! I scurried along to my Thursday evening choir practise, before going to buy a secret birthday cake and bottle of fizz, before starting wedding guest grooming! I went to sleep buzzing, it was going to be a good couple of days!

I collected my friends from their respective houses on Friday morning, and we made our way to Newport Pagnell for the nuptials. I won't go on about the wedding as you don't know the couple, but it was beautiful. The bride looked just like a fairytale princess, and the groom's vows made me cry more than I've ever cried at a wedding. When it came to the 'Do you take her to be your wife' part of the ceremony I was absolutely terrified. I think I was more nervous than the groom, and he looked like he was going to throw up!! I was still in the mindset of 'Much Ado About Nothing', and we all know how Hero's first wedding ended! Thankfully no-one was called a rotten orange, and Mr and Mrs Wright were man and wife!

We headed out after the ceremony for a lovely birthday lunch at TGI Fridays for my lovely friend Corinne. She was thoroughly embarrassed when the staff sang to her, but we enjoyed complimentary cake between us and a beautiful time was had by all. We made our way back to the hotel for our secret party for her.
She had questioned why we had taken so many bags with us, but I brushed it off as being a heavy packer! After an elaborate plan to get her out of the room involving a faked trip up the stairs and a 'sprained wrist' (Corinne is a physiotherapist), our secret was unleashed and we spent a lovely hour drinking cider and dancing around the room before the wedding reception.

I've said a million times before how I love being around creative people, but it was so nice to be with my non-acting friends, laughing and joking around without a care in the world. I love you guys!

After much dancing and drinking that evening, we retired to bed, three of us in two single beds pushed together, with me ending up on the crack in the middle due to my evening facial routine taking priority before sleep! It was the best nights sleep I've had in ages, all of my stresses were over, and I had nothing left to worry about, bliss.

It was early to rise though, as we had to head back to Kettering as I had to make my debut as a catwalk model! We drove back in beautiful sunshine, and I knew it was going to be a good day!
The fashion show went quite well! I modelled for various shops in the town, Dorothy Perkins, Next, Internacionale, Roman Originals, and... Bon Marche! Thankfully I didn't fall off my shoes so all was well!

I had a nice little catch up with a couple of people, before making my way back to Bedford to watch a play.

I was excited to be watching it, as I had missed it the last time it was performed, and had heard brilliant things about it. However, I was gutted that I wasn't going back to perform myself. That day I passed three of our five venues for Much Ado, and I'll admit I did start to well up a bit. But I knew that it was time to let it go.

The play was amazing. It had a guy in it that I had worked with back in February, and he was magnificent. I knew back then that he was amazingly talented, but in this play I could not take my eyes off him. He was so good, I was mesmerised. After the play we headed to the pub. When I saw we, there were about half of the Much Ado cast there, so it was a nice mini-reunion. Alcohol was consumed (by them), and we chatted about acting and the future. It was good. It had been less than a week since I'd seen them but it was nice to get back together again. I wasn't feeling sad any more, I know that they're still there, I just have to find my moments to see them.

I was back to work on Sunday and Monday, but it wasn't too bad! Today, however is Tuesday, and my day off. And I'm slightly ashamed to tell you that I've slipped back into my old ways. I've got an audition lined up on Saturday, and my day was supposed to consist entirely of audition preparation. In reality, I've done about an hours worth, and spent a lovely hour with Dick Van Dyke again. Oops. I know to get anywhere now I've got to create my own opportunities, but that silver haired wonder is just sometimes too hard to resist!

Being back in Bedford on Saturday made me happy. There are people there who want to work with me, who I would be honoured to work with, and watching the two amazing people in the play has made me want to work harder to be as good, if not better than they are. It's inspiring to watch other people, it gives me such a drive to work harder to get what I want.

I've got this audition on Saturday, which I'm looking forward to. To get the job would be good, but I'm hoping that it's only a back-up plan. I've been asked to do a project in December which I won't reveal now as it's still up in the air, but would be an amazing opportunity. I was emailed by someone who I've not worked for before, who has seen my work and would like me to be in his next production. That made me feel pretty special. I know he saw me in Much Ado, and looking back on it, I know it wasn't my best work. I'm not ashamed to say that I struggled with it a lot, acting really is hard sometimes but you can't let it defeat you. I didn't, I carried on, and we did a bloody good show. So to have him still want me to perform for his company after that put the biggest smile on my face.
I'm waiting to hear more details but let's just say I might be travelling further afield than Bedford this Christmas...

Things might actually be starting to fall into place!

Nxxx

A-Z of acting. Z is for...

Zzzzzz.....


Well, what a week last week was. It was an absolute rollercoaster ride and I haven't recovered in the slightest.

I kicked off the week with three consecutive days at my normal person job. As you might have read in last weeks post, it didn't start well. I had had a truly brilliant Sunday performing Much Ado twice at a stunning venue, with my family and friends watching and was feeling on top of the world. And then it all came crashing down on Monday morning when I faced reality. I cried from the moment I woke up, until half an hour into my shift when the customers were let in the gate. I was a wreck. Somehow I managed to get through the day, and the next two without too much of a fuss, but I wasn't my normal happy self.

I was partly excited but partly sad when Thursday arrived. I had the majority of the day to myself to prepare for the final show in Bedford, and there were quite a few tears rolling down my cheeks before I left home. I had packed my costumes, my props and my cards for my cast mates that contained various gushing soppy messages about how much I had enjoyed working with them all, and how much I was going to miss them.

I arrived at our final location, Harpur Square, and was intrigued by what I was faced with. We were actually going to perform on a stage! With lighting and microphones! We weren't used to this!! We planned our exits and entrances and got ourselves into costume before making our way to the backstage area. I handed out my cards solemnly, and received a plethora of hugs from everyone which cheered me up a bit!

For me, the show wasn't my best performance of the run, I was painfully aware that it was our last show, and despite wanting to give everything I had, I didn't want it to end. It absolutely sped through, and before I knew it, I was preparing to go on for my final scenes. And that's when it hit me. The tears started to flow. Thankfully I had to be upset in the scenes, otherwise the audience would have been very confused! When it came to my final few lines, my voice was breaking and the tears were definitely present again, but I hope it worked in the context of what I was doing!

There was a hasty packing up of props and costumes before we all made our final trip for a post-show drink at a local pub. Due to Bedford's insane parking, a few of us could only stay for one for fear of our vehicles being towed or ticketed, but we had a nice little laugh together and decided that we would all definitely meet up in approximately a month before parting ways. I don't know whether that will actually happen, but it made me happier knowing that there would be a chance of us all being together again and that it wasn't the end.

I hugged everyone goodbye at the pub, and myself, Hannah and Jacob strolled to our cars before heading our separate ways. I miss the show already, but I miss the people more. My tears started again as soon as I saw Jacob drive off in the opposite direction. He made the play so much fun for me. Not that everyone else didn't... Maybe it's because we played a couple, or maybe it's because we were the naughty pair in rehearsals who always thought the same thing and giggled like naughty children at the back of the room, but it felt like I truly found someone who understood me, and I'll miss him.

I didn't have time to mope about much, I woke up on Friday and had another show to prepare for! It was the latest Starlight dance show in Kettering and I had NOTHING ready! A quick scout around my bedroom, and a good rummage in my costume cupboard later and I was 75% ready! I had a mad dash around Kettering town centre for last minute fishnets, show pants and a bald cap(!) and I had everything. And then it began. The dress rehearsal.

Due to Much Ado, I had missed the only other costume runs of the show so I had no idea what to expect, other than what my fellow dancers had told me... that it was impossible. I pride myself on my ability to do a quick costume change, but even I was worried. I shouldn't have! I was on time for every single routine, perfect! I just had to learn what I actually had to do on stage now!

After a fairly successful dress, I drove home and began to sort out my costumes back into some sort of order again. It wasn't pleasant. Every single thing was damp with sweat, and screwed up beyond belief! The next day wouldn't be pleasant.

Annoyingly I couldn't get to sleep that night. I watched the clock as time ticked by, 1a, 2am, 3am... The last time I could be bothered to look was 3.30am. I had to be up at 8. I wasn't impressed.

It was an effort to get up in the morning but I did it, and the day began. The matinee went well, the audience were quite quiet, but we had no idea how they were going to react to the show so we just got on with it! As soon as the performance had ended I just sat on the floor in a heap. I had absolutely no idea how I was going to cope with doing it all again. I had pulled muscles in all of my limbs, I was limping around backstage like an injured animal, and had nothing left in the tank to give. It definitely wasn't my finest hour.

But before I knew it, it was show time again. The performer in me kicked in, and I seemed to forget any injury I had, and gave the performance of my life. How I did, no-one knows. The evening audience were a lot livelier, which spurred us all on, and we got a standing ovation at the end which was fabulous! My second one in a week, I could get used to this! ;)

Naturally everyone left quickly and I was one of the few who always stay behind to clear up after everyone, and by the time I got home it was 11.30pm. It was straight to bed, the only thing I took off were my false eyelashes!

There wasn't even time for a rest on Sunday! Thankfully I had booked the day off work, and I was glad I did. My alarm went off at 10am, and I could barely lift my head off the pillow. Absolutely everything hurt. I got out of bed (slowly) and had a look at the damage sustained. I was absolutely covered in bruises. Every muscle hurt, and I wasn't sure I was going to get through the day!

I pulled some clothes on and made my way back to the dance studio to be fitted for some clothes for a fashion show that is happening this weekend. I perked up when I got some pretty dresses to wear, but by the end of it I was fit for nothing again. I went home, had some dinner and fell asleep on my bed for a good hour. Bliss.

Then it was time to get straight back up again and get ready to go to our after-show party! I grabbed my Cheryl Cole costume from my cupboard, and joined the ranks for a good party at Kids Play! Haha!

It was early to bed for me again as I faced another four days straight at my normal person job... back to reality again.

I love being busy, and performing is my life, but I think I might have taken things a bit too far last week! It's Tuesday now and I'm still exhausted. But you know what? I wouldn't change it for the world! My summer has got off to a cracking start thanks to the beautiful people of Bedford and beyond that I have had the privilege of working with, and as always, dancing with my Starlight friends puts the smile right back on my face, especially when I see the photos afterwards!

I'm still super busy until next Tuesday, when I finally have nothing planned, but I bet I still end up running around like a loon!

I haven't had time to get sad that everything is over yet, I know I will when I finally get to sit down for more than half an hour, but I'm happy with how things have gone so far this summer. I thought that last summer couldn't be topped, and it hasn't been yet, but this year is running a pretty close second!

Watch this space...

Nxxx

A-Z of acting. Y is for...

Yikes!

Here we are again, another week, another blog.

Don’t worry, I think it’ll be a short one today. It’s too hot to concentrate on too many words, and you’re probably more excited about the new royal baby boy being born than anything I have to say!

But on we go. Last week was thankfully a lot better than the week before. Sadly, I had to go to my normal person job on the Monday, but had Tuesday off, so I was able to do as I pleased.

I took myself over to Leicester to purchase a new dress for a wedding, after my unsuccessful trip out with Jacob on Saturday. I also met up with my lovely Leicester-based friend Christine and had a good heart to heart with her about my life woes. It was good to talk to someone who knows your situation in life, and I felt much better coming home.

The rest of the week picked up too, I was offered two auditions, and it looked as though job castings were picking up! There was still a chance of me acting again!
I spent the next four days working my normal person job, counting down the hours until I’d get to act again. The shows were on Sunday, so I had to endure an extra day of work before I got to play. It made all the difference, I was exhausted! Despite being on the games stall rather than a ride, it was still so tiring being out in the heat all day.

By the time Sunday arrived, the weather was cooler and I was incredibly grateful. The last two matinees we had, had been too hot and uncomfortable for anyone to be happy, but it was just right. Our audience were very quiet but all seemed to enjoy themselves which is all we asked of them! And then my nerves fully kicked in.

I had a lot of friends coming to watch the evening show, and I began to feel sick. I don’t know why I was so nervous, it’s not like they would tell me the show was awful! I watched from the gazebo as they all arrived, leaving it right to the last second as normal, putting extra nerves into me, and we began.

And what a show it was. The audience loved it, we made people laugh, we made people cry, and to top it all off, our setting was beautiful. The sun was setting behind us as I was betrothed to Claudio, and it was a perfect magical place to be. I personally felt as if it was my best performance of the run too, and afterward when my friends told me that they had wept, I felt like I’d done a good job!

The day had flown by, and I was sad to go home, but I was absolutely exhausted and didn’t know what to do with myself. I threw myself into bed and slept away the night peacefully.

I woke up this morning feeling good, until I realised that the reason I had set my alarm was because I had to go to work. I burst into tears and didn’t actually stop crying until 10.30 when the customers were let in the gates, half an hour into my shift! I obviously tried to keep it all in, but every time someone asked me how the performances went, the emotions came flooding out again.

A couple of people asked me what was wrong, but I couldn’t explain it to them without sounding like an ungrateful prick. How can you say to people that you work with that you’re crying just because you don’t want to be there?!? One girl looked at me like I was insane.

It’s very hard to explain to people who aren’t in the industry how things go. Last week I had people offering me suggestions of work which were just ridiculous. They hear the word ‘actor’ and just think you’ll do anything. No I won’t! And they ask if you’ll work for companies that you know for a fact are am-dram. It’s very frustrating.
As well as being incredibly exhausted, I’m absolutely devastated that it’s our final show on Thursday. I’ve said it before, I get very attached to shows, and once they’re over, I don’t know what to do with myself. I also know that I have no acting work lined up at all, nothing to focus on, and that makes me feel so upset. And to have to wake up for the rest of the summer and go to the park where all I have to do is press buttons all day is pretty depressing. I don’t have to use my brain in this job. It’s not challenging, it’s the same thing, day in, day out. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to actually have a job and be earning some money so that I can travel to auditions etc, but it’s just not acting.

The cast of Much Ado are fabulous, we all get on so well and I’m going to miss them all so much. I know I’ll probably see most of them again, Bedford isn’t far, but we’ll probably all never be in the same place at the same time again. We won’t be performing this play again. We’ve all got close to each other and we’re like a little family that get together every week and tell a story to strangers for money! We’ve gone through a lot in rehearsals and performances, and we’ll never have those moments again.

This is the point where acting sucks. Everything comes to an end and there’s nothing you can do about it. You just hope that the friendships you’ve made are real, and that you stay in touch. But most of the time that never happens. People move on, people get forgotten.

I want the cast to know that they’ve made the start of this summer truly magical, I’ve had something to look forward to every week, and it’s not just performing the show, it’s being with them. They’re an amazing bunch of people and I’ll miss them all so much.

I love you guys. Final show on Thursday, let’s make it one to remember ;)

Nxxx

A-Z of acting: X is for...

X (as in, no, we don't want you). Also, X-Factor.

Last week was a toughie. I actually started out in quite a good mood on Monday, despite having to go to work the previous day completely exhausted. Monday was my day off from my normal person job, I took myself swimming, and caught up with a few things that I had been putting off and had a pleasant day.

I had sent my Claudio a good luck message as he had an audition that day, and as no-one was wishing me luck for anything that I had been doing and I was feeling grumpy about it, I thought I’d share the love. We actors are quite sensitive you know, we need constant support! That was my good deed of the day and I carried on enjoying the sunshine.

Tuesday wasn’t too bad either to be honest. I was at work but thanks to the people that I work with, the day seemed to go quite fast. I had Wednesday off, didn’t wake up til gone 10am, back to my unemployment ways(!) and then my other half took me out for dinner which was lovely.

I was just about to leave his house, naturally checking my social networks before I left, when I saw that my Claudio had got the job he auditioned for. His status immediately got a ‘like’ and a ‘:D’ comment and I did a little punch in the air and whooped. I was so pleased for him. I left for home and as soon as I got in the car I started to feel really down.

Despite being happy for him in his new role, I was slightly jealous. Well, I don’t know if I mean jealous or not. Whatever it was, I started to cry. And I couldn’t stop. It was that ridiculous that I thought I’d have to pull the car over because I couldn’t actually see properly any more.

It didn’t seem fair. There he was, walking straight into job after job and I’m struggling to get anywhere yet again. I cried myself to sleep that night. I don’t even know how many jobs I applied for last week, it was an insane number, and to continually get passed over for every single one makes you feel useless. It doesn’t help that my particular casting website of choice lets you see when your profile has been viewed by employers. That’s just another kick in the teeth when you know you’ve definitely been looked at and they don’t want you.

As the week progressed I saw more and more of my actor friends getting work and it made me feel worse. I wasn’t even looking forward to Saturday’s performances. I knew that doing more shows meant that the end was even closer, and I didn’t want it to happen.
Friday’s dance rehearsal took things off my mind for a while, but I still wasn’t myself. At least I could go to sleep and wake up on Saturday ready to take myself away from the world and disappear. The audiences needed me, I couldn’t let them down!

My final application of the week was for panto. Unfortunately the audition process was something that I had experienced before a couple of years ago, and hadn’t really wished to go through again, but I found myself clicking the ‘send’ button on my email, and it was too late to take it back. Yes my friends, I have entered Panto Factor! To be honest, the thing that swung it for me was the ‘celebrity’ bookings that they have for this year. We can skip over the fact that they have Andy Abraham, but throw in 90s pop star Lolly, and Neighbours very own Dr Karl Kennedy, and that’s a show I want to be a part of! I’m waiting to hear whether they will offer me an audition, but just imagine it, me and Karl on stage together! Now that would make my Christmas!

I woke up slightly happier on Saturday knowing that I’d be performing again, but good lord was it hot!! I arrived in Bedford at around 10.30am and it was already baking hot. There’s barely any free parking in Bedford, so I had to park quite a distance away, and carrying everything I had to take with me was an effort, I had to stop half way for a breather! Luckily I was rescued by the assistant director and I made it the rest of the way with a lighter load. We assembled the gazebo dressing room and awaited the rest of the cast (boys, obviously!) before going over entrances and exits and settling down before the showm started.

We had to be assembled by 1pm, and the heat was crazy. I felt so sorry for the boys in their army clothes. I was fixing my hair before we started and could already feel sweat rolling down my back and into my show pants. (sorry, another actor thing, never knowing when things are too much!)
Lord knows how much water we all went through during the show. Jacob and I couldn’t look at each other lovingly without squinting at each other, and I spent the majority of the play looking at beads of sweat rolling down people’s faces. We were so attractive. The magic of the heat also made the show ten minutes longer, which was insane! It must have been the sheer effort of walking about in the sun that made it impossible to move at a normal pace!

The audience still loved it, despite sitting around like hog roasts, but I didn’t really hang around to speak to anyone. We all ripped off our costumes, and most of the boys stood around in very little to try and get cool. I didn’t envy Alex, whose trousers were drenched in sweat from being tucked into his army boots for a good two hours.

The main thing is that we got through it and we knew that it had to be cooler in the evening. I went into town with Jacob, who was trying to help me find a dress for my friends wedding (and whose hen do I had to miss on Saturday, I apologise again!!) but despite his best efforts to dress me, I found nothing. We spent our last half an hour of freedom drinking outside a bar in the sunshine and had a good old natter about life. It was just what I needed and I started to feel better than I had over the last few days.

Our second show that day was my favourite of the run so far. The audience got in nice and early, and were loving the weather now that it had cooled down, and from the very start, they loved it. They were eating out of the palms of our hand and we knew it! I love shows like that, we didn’t even have to try for laughs, they loved it, I noticed us all putting in a few extras when we knew things would work with the crowd and they responded accordingly. It was brilliant. The severe heat had gone and we were all happy!

We got even happier when we got to the end of the show, packed everything away and headed to the pub afterwards! It was another one of those evenings where I was surrounded by creative people and we could just talk about things and be understood by everyone because we’re all in the same boat,it was marvellous. We didn’t leave the pub until half past midnight, and that was when I realised I hadn’t eaten anything all day! This meant a road trip was in order to find some dirty food! Despite our best efforts, we couldn’t find anywhere open in Bedford with parking, so we ventured further afield, almost to home. A 24 hour McDonald’s came to our rescue at around 1am, and it was the most glorious cheeseburger I have ever had!

We had another nice heart to heart chat before finally surrendering to our sleepy eyes and parting ways at 2.10am. it’s been a while since I haven’t wanted a day to end, but I really didn’t want this one to. My heart sank as I entered Kettering, and I knew that in a few short hours I’d be back to reality working my normal person job, stuck in a town where nothing happens.

Thankfully my day didn’t go too slowly, and it was only thoughts of the previous day that kept me going. That’s the thing with acting and me, it’s the only thing that makes me truly happy. Even if I never act again, it’s given me some amazing memories and allowed me to meet some amazing people, and I’ll always be truly greatful for it.

Nxxx

A-Z of Acting. W is for...

Work and woes...


I have been an absolute nightmare to live with this week. I have been tired, grumpy, and unbearable, all because of this crazy thing I call a career.

Last week had been fantastic. I had had six glorious days of acting,including two performances, and despite having to work my normal person job on the Sunday, I was feeling pretty darned happy.
As I left work on Sunday evening, I briefly glanced at the rotas but didn’t really check them properly. I got home and a niggle in the back of my head told me that I was working on the Monday. I checked my diary for what dates I had written down to work, and Monday wasn’t a scheduled work day. Something still told me that the rota might have changed so with a heavy heart I set my alarm early, just so that I could be awake in case my boss rang me to ask me where I was. It only takes me ten minutes to walk there so it wouldn’t be a problem.

I awoke early and began doing my mundane jobs around the house, with my phone in hand waiting for the call but heard nothing. Result, no work for me! I carried on with my day until I couldn’t go on any longer. It got to around 2pm before I finally gave in to my body and had to go back to bed. And I didn’t just have my usual cat-nap curled up on my bed basking in the sunshine, this was a full get back into bed and sleep like you’ve never slept before sleep! I was absolutely exhausted! I had really been looking forward to having two outdoor jobs this summer but it’s really taken it out of me!

Tuesday came, and I was back at work. I had a lovely greeting from my colleagues, before one of them asked “and where were you yesterday?” Oops! Maybe I should have phoned my boss to double check! Oh well! I had a fairly short day at work, but it still didn’t stop me wishing I was performing far far away. I just couldn’t get the show out of my mind. It was infuriating knowing that I wouldn’t get to do the play again until Saturday, and Saturday seemed a very long way away.

I got home exhausted yet again, and had the typical conversation with my mum that happens far more often than I want. Apparently I snapped at her when I answered her question, so she asked why I was being that way. I told her I was tired, to get the usual response of “we’ll I suppose we’re ntit then? You’re not the only one that works you know.”

This normally makes me storm out of the room in a rage but I was too exhausted to even breathe properly. I’ve been joking around with people when they ask me why I’m looking so tired at the moment, and I laugh it off by saying that I have a very emotional journey in the play. Now this is true, but I don’t think people realise how tiring acting is sometimes. I admit that I don’t have any scenes where I have to run about like a mad woman in this play, but a huge scene of mone is incredibly emotional, and getting through it twice a day sobbing doesn’t make you feel like bouncing around the room afterwards, I’m just ready for a nice sit down to be honest.

Aduded to that is the fact that we’re performing outside in crazy temperatures (finally) and you’ve got a load of tired actors on your hands.
My normal person job is pretty much one of the easiest jobs that I’ve ever had, but still, it’s pretty tiring being blasted by the sun all day, and having to deal with moaning children and parents. I’m not much of an outdoorsy person, so I’m really being tested at the moment!

My other reason for being such a grumpy arsehole all week was to do with the fact that I don’t know where my next acting job will come from, if there will be one at all. On Monday I wrote to more agents asking for representation, and got on all of the casting websites that I could find to apply for jobs, and have heard nothing. This is the norm for me, but this time it’s really getting to me. I’m blaming my Claudio slightly for this one! He’s fresh out of drama school, landed this job, has got a tour starting in September, and today had an audition for something at the Edinburgh fringe. It seems like he’s getting everything and I’m still stuck in my neverending pool of despair. Of course it helps him that he’s tall, young, chiselled and attractive, whereas I’m getting on a bit, podgy, and not really on the side of prettiness. But surely there must be something out there for me!!
I need to start creating more of my own opportunities, but I just don’t have the money to do anything either, it’s so frustrating,

The rest of the week passed in an angry blur, more shifts outside, but thankfully short days. Friday arrived and I actually woke up in a very good mood! Friday meant that it was almost Saturday, and Saturday was show day! Friday also happened to be Bastille day, so work was heaving with children, more than it had been all week. They were all there to learn stuff, but they also got to go on all of the rides for free.
We had been closing at 4 all week so I was expecting the same on Friday, and by 3.40, I had no queue on my ride and I started packing away things that I didn’t need any more. Then we got to 3.55, and a huge crowd of children made their way into the arena and straight to where I was stood. I was gutted. Obviously I had to serve them, but I was not happy about it.

To rub it in my face even more, the ride I was on is the only ride that has music playing, and just as they arrived in the queue, ‘Boys of Summer’ began to play. Normally this wouldn’t bother me, but that song is the opening music to our Much Ado and there was nothing I wanted more than to be performing it right at that second. Bloody kids!

I got through it, and through my three hour dance rehearsal that night, got home, washed my hair, fake tanned, and sank into bed thoroughly tired but excited for the next day.

And what a day it was! Absolute glorious sunshine all day long. I enjoyed my drive to our venue, my windows were wide open, I had the radio blasting, all was well!
I was so excited to see my fellow cast mates too. I get close to people when I do shows, and I had missed them a lot. I was the last to arrive, bang on time but still, the last one. That never happens!! We were shown to our dressing room and then we began. We did a speed run of the show just to remind ourselves of what we were actually doing, and as a reminder of our entrances and exits, as we had only rehearsed there for one day. It was a stunning venue, and I couldn’t wait to get started. After the speed run we still had quite a bit of time before the show started so Jacon and I had a little sunbathe and chatter before it got too hot.

And hot it got. The first performance started at 2pm, right in the middle of the hottest part of the day. It was hideous. I was thankful that I was only wearing a thin white summer dress, but I was still melting. The boys must have been drowning, they wear big old boots and army clothing, I felt sorry for them. Hero and Claudio weren’t particularly hands-on during that performance either! It was too hot to even touch each other, so we had to make do with attempting to gaze lovingly at each other. Unfortunately the sun was so bright that we were squinting at each other the whole time and were definitely not attractive to each other in the slightest!!

I had a feeling all day that I had forgotten something, but couldn’t put my finger on what it was until the final scene, where I realised that a vital prop that sits in my bra wasn’t there. I was mortified, but there was nothing I could do. Still, I’d done it now,I wouldn’t cock anything else up that day, right?

We had a nice long three hour break between shows, so four of us headed into Sharnbrook, the village where we were performing, and I had a cheeky ice cream, before heading back and lounging about in the gardens again and being entertained by Bella, the house puppy.

Thankfully the temperature dropped significantly for the evening performance, so normal service resumed. We had lots of people turning up on the door that hadn’t booked, and one woman even climbed the fence to get in once the show had started! We had a good number of audience so we were very happy indeed. I thought that everything was going well for me until about a third of the way in, when I realised that I was wearing the wrong shoes! At least I remembered my bra prop this time, so I think I managed to get away with it. The show was very well received by everyone, and I headed to the pub with the boys afterwards for a cheeky glass before heading home.

The heat had absolutely drained me, and although I got home quite early, just after 10.30, I climbed straight into bed and almost instantly fell asleep. Almost. My eyes were just about to close when there was an almighty bang and a fizzing sound in the middle of the room. I sprang out of bed to get the light, to discover that the bottle of Lucozade that I had taken with me had exploded. My bedroom rug had turned into a pink pond. I mopped it up and got back into bed, ready to face another day at work. It had been a fabulous day, I just wished it could have been longer.

I woke up yesterday to the full extent of my Lucozade massacre. It was everywhere. All over my tv, walls, bookshelf, it was literally like a fizzy bomb had gone off in my room. I had to leave it and go to work. It was another crazily hot day, and it dragged more than any other day has dragged there so far. I had to drag myself around the ride, it was too much of an effort to walk, the sun was unrelenting. I don’t know how I made it to the end of the day it I got home and had a nap on a sun chair in the garden before a well deserved barbecue!

And here we are, back to Monday again. It really is my day off today, my room is drink free, and I’ve applied for more jobs that I won’t get a reponse from. Back to normal it is. Still, only four more days to get through before the next show day. Wish me luck...

nxx

A-Z of Acting: V is for...

Victory and Violence!

I've enjoyed this week immensely! I have had a glorious six solid days of acting, and it has been wonderful. Today however, I've been at my normal person job and I've been sulking! But we'll get to that later!

I've just realised that being on the letter V this week means I'm almost at the end of the alphabet. I worked out that my final blog post in the alphabet game falls on the week that Much Ado comes to an end, and I'm really not ready for that to happen. Sob.

But back to this week. I headed over to Bedford on Monday morning for a nice full day of rehearsals, and Jacob persuaded me to go for a cheeky Nando's at lunchtime before we attempted a full run of the show. It was glorious! I'd also taken along some rehearsal props as we had just been miming quite a lot of actions and I was getting concerned that I wouldn't cope when it finally came to using real props and I'd ruin the whole show!

The day got even better in the afternoon when Jonathan, our Don John arrived and brought with him the boys costumes. I casually made my way indoors when they were all trying on different bits and pieces, and what a beautiful sight it was! I had my own little fleet of army boys, fabulous! Suddenly I was feeling much happier about the whole play! Beautiful boys in uniform, thank you Mrs Director! ;)

Tuesday arrived, and a rehearsal at another venue, Stanwick Lakes was on the cards. Like last week, we had to work out all of our entrances and exits as we were in another completely different space. We also had the arrival of our gazebo, which we will be using as our dressing room at a couple of venues. Our teamwork skills were put to the test as we attempted to erect it for the first time, and with the smallest amount of fuss, we did it! Who knew actors could be so versatile?!? For the second day running we had beautiful sunshine, it was a good day! We made our way back to Bedford to rehearse in the afternoon, and worked through a few scenes before we left for home.

It was back to Bedford on Wednesday and rehearsals were back at Castle Mound. For the second time we were spotted on CCTV and this time, people were sent to ask us what was happening. We had a table of bottles of alcohol, and also with there being some rough actions taking place, we were seen as some sort of vagabonds! We talked them out of getting us into trouble by giving them a flyer for the show and smooth talking them around and all was well. As Castle Mound is a public place, again we had a few people watching us. Two girls sat at the side of our performance area quite enthralled, especially when Jacob was acting(!), and two groups of youths seemed to show quite a bit of interest too. I'm probably sterotyping like a mad woman, but they didn't seem like the sort of people who would take any interest at all. They were there sitting on the grass smoking weed, playing their music and having a good time doing what they were doing, but whenever we get near them we could hear them talking about what we were doing... "Well those two are obviously the leads, and that bloke has just killed her..." It was fabulous! I'm hoping they buy tickets!

Thursday rolled around, and we were rehearsing in our first performance venue, the beautiful Hinwick House. It wasn't as far for me to travel to, only about half the distance to Bedford, but I had no idea that it was even there. It was stunning. We got everything set up, got into costume, and were ready to go before we were moved around due to photographers being present. Apparently the house is going up for sale and photographs were needed, and it was going to be too much effort to photoshop a group of actors out of the shots! After they had finished, we reclaimed our spot in the garden and had a jolly dress rehearsal. For a first attempt it went very well indeed, I was quite chuffed. We made our way to the room we were using as our temporary dressing room for the day to receive final notes. I hadn't been getting many notes which can be a good thing or a bad thing. I was just bumbling along hoping for the best. One glorious note was "wedding scene, amazing!" which was a good start, and then to hear "Natalie, brilliant. You're just breaking my heart...." was the icing on top of a beautiful cake! Finally I had received a compliment, I was absolutely buzzing!
We were let home early to have a good rest before Friday's final dress and first performance!

As usual, I arrived early to rehearsal, and was surprised to see a few of the cast in the car park. I was completely oblivious as to why until I finished parking the car. Jacob's car bonnet was up in the air, and then I noticed that it was covered in grass and mud. He had had an accident about half a mile away trying to avoid an animal in the road, and the roads were covered in rain. It sounded like quite an ordeal, but he was fine, it was just the car that wasn't in the best shape. I stayed with him while he was on the phone to various insurance people, and his parents, and helped him to transfer all of his stuff into my car boot.

I rarely know what to say to people when something like that happens, and that day was no exception, I just did what I could and kept my mouth shut. Even though the accident was nothing to do with me, I felt really shaken up. It took me right back to when I did a play a few years ago that was about a real car crash that had happened in Leicester. It also happened on a country road, but it was a car full of teenagers and one of them died, with another having her arm amputated. The play was incredibly powerful, but left me completely drained by the end of the run. One of the girls who was in the crash came to see it, and seeing her made me burst into tears. I know that I haven't known Jacob long, but knowing that these things can happen and that it could have been a lot worse really freaked me out. I'd like to think that we've become friends and thinking the worst made me feel horrible. He was a bit shaken, but like the trooper that he is, we carried on with the dress rehearsal.

My emotions were secretly all over the place by the time we did the run. I obviously didn't want to tell Jacob my worries about him as he had enough to think about himself, but by the time we got to our big emotional scene together, I was a complete wreck, my tears were genuine! I drove us to get some food after the run, before the first performance and felt a lot better knowing that we were all still together and ready to go on. We got back to the house, set up, and the rain began to fall. I couldn't believe it. We had had such beautiful weather all week, and for our first show, it was horrible! Thankfully the audience didn't seem to mind too much. They rolled up with their picnics, waterproofs and umbrellas, ready for whatever we had to throw at them.

Luckily the rain only stayed for about 20 minutes, but five of us still had to endure rolling around on the grass getting soggy! I wasn't overly pleased with my performance that night, I felt that I got a bit overexcited by seeing audience in, but it seemed to go very well. And considering the rain, we had a fairly decent turnout. I couldn't wait for Saturday! I had to wait to go home as Jacob's parents were coming to collect him, and I had all of his stuff still in my car. It was still quite light when I eventually hit the road, but I drove home at a snails pace, terrified that I would end up in a ditch too. I made it back in one piece and went to bed with a smile on my face after putting my lovely opening night flowers from Jonathan in a vase, aaw! So sweet!

I would have absolutely loved a lie-in on Saturday morning, but I woke up with the lark and couldn't get back to sleep again. I pottered about for a bit before getting dressed and deciding to watch Les Miserables. What a mistake that was. I was a sobbing wreck! I cried more watching that yesterday than I did in the cinema! I think I was overtired!! Despite the lengthy film, I still had a while to go before my first destination of the day. It was my cousin Katie's birthday party. Like me, she is the ripe old age of twenty-something, but that didn't stop her having a bouncy castle! :) I arrived early as I wouldn't be staying long, and met my cousin Catherine's daughter Lilia for the first time. I think she's about 3, but they live near Birmingham so we don't get to see much of them. We bonded on the bouncy castle and snacked at the buffet together and had a jolly time. I quickly realised that late twenty-somethings shouldn't go on bouncy castles any more. I was absolutely shattered! I didn't know how I was going to go on!

I said my goodbyes and made my way over to Hinwick again, ready for our second show. I did a few warm-ups before we were banished to our dressing room with the audience arriving (half an hour before gates opened, grrr!)and I watched anxiously for an old friend to arrive. I haven't seen him for many a year, but he came to watch as it is his favourite Shakespeare play. I was very excited to see him, but having someone in the audience that I know made me more nervous than I was for opening night! For me, the performance went a lot better than it had done the previous night. The sun shone down beautifully and things were going gloriously until the wedding scene.

No matter how much you rehearse something, things can always go wrong, and accidents happen, and during the wedding I got punched in the face! Thankfully I was supposed to be in a hysterical state so I managed to use the pain to my advantage, but my god did it hurt!! It was Jacob who clocked me, but he wasn't aware that he had done it. It's happened to me before though, I've properly hit someone without knowing, you just get so involved in the scene that you're not fully aware of what's happened. It only hurt for a while, and thankfully I didn't wake up with a black eye so he is forgiven!

I hastily dressed and gathered all of my stuff together before racing out to see my friend. He and his girlfriend said that they loved it, which made me very happy indeed! I hope they send lots more people along! Most of us trundled along to the nearest pub after the show for cast drinks and had a nice little natter which was lovely. I love being around creative people, and as barely any of my friends do this for a living, it was nice to talk about things and have people understand exactly what each other are going through.

I didn't want to say goodbye, as I knew that I would be home soon, and it would be straight to bed and up early for normal person job in the morning. And what an effort it was today. Getting up wasn't too bad, I thankfully didn't wake up before my alarm, and walking in to work was alright, I just got a couple of hours into my shift when I realised that I wouldn't be performing tonight and I got a huge ball of sadness in my stomach and I went into a bit of a sulk on the rollercoaster! One lady tried to get her daughter onto the ride despite her being ridiculously too short to ride it. Despite her pleas that she had already been on it, I was having none of it and was quite abrupt with her, especially when she wanted to leave her child alone with me while she rode the ride herself. No! I did feel quite guilty afterwards but if I wasn't allowed to have fun then neither was she!

I've been bumbling along with acting for a while now, but today made me realise just how much I need it. I had six wonderful days working with talented people this week, and going back to working the rollercoaster pained me so much that I didn't know what to do with myself. At least I know now that however tough it gets, I have to keep going with acting. It's the only thing that makes me genuinely happy and I can't imagine my life without it.

Like I said earlier, Much Ado will all be over in four weeks time and I'm really not ready to let it go. I'm going to have to trawl the casting websites for the rest of the evening I think.

I still haven't had any agents wanting me on their books, it looks like I'm going to have to work my arse off to get stuff on my own for a bit longer. Watch this space...

Nxxx

A-Z of Acting: U is for...

Understanding.

*WARNING* This blog post contains plot spoilers of Much Ado About Nothing. Please leave if you do not wish to ruin the experience of coming to watch us! ;)


Last week was a week of ups and downs. We started our last final push of rehearsals as we rapidly approach performances.

It started off very well. We began our week at one of our venues, Tofte Manor. It is absolutely stunning. Words can't explain how pretty it is, you'll have to take my word for it.

We had been working on various scenes, and once the afternoon rolled around, we set out to do a full run of the play. This is where outdoor performances get interesting. During rehearsals, you get used to rehearsing in a certain space, and then when you get to venues, everything changes. Every location has different exits and entrances, and everything has to be adapted to fit where you are. I'm going to be honest and say that I didn't know my cues for my entrances so I pretty much winged the whole thing, but on the whole, for a first go, it was pretty good! The location set itself up for some brilliant staging and we were all very happy indeed!

Thursday arrived, and we made our way to another venue, Castle Mound in Bedford. Again, everything had to be altered to fit the venue, but we did quite well to adapt. Hey, we're actors, all the world's a stage! Castle Mound is a public area, so anyone can walk up and have a nose around. We had one gentleman who stayed to watch for about half an hour, a couple of American tourists had a look, and then we were invaded by what I can only describe as a gang of youths! You know the sort, the ones that hang about playing music from their phones doing nothing. They had a few glances over at the folk who were talking in a strange language but didn't seem that interested. The boss of the company decided that she would go over and give them a flyer, I was slightly fearful for her life but they all immediately turned very polite and showed some interest after all!

Unfortunately we got rained away from the mound, but the rest of the day was still productive. The same happened on Friday, starting at the venue, but eventually being made to scurry away back to the safe haven of the theatre. Which is where it all went pear shaped for me. We worked on the ending of the play. Here come the plot spoilers. My character, Hero, has been shamed on her wedding day, with almost all of the men calling her a whore, and acusing her of infidelity. The are led to believe that Hero has died upon this happening to her, and it is agreed that as punishment, Claudio, her betrothed, should marry Hero's cousin, who he will not see before the wedding. Pretty much like blind date, but with wedding rings! Anyway, obviously, it turns out to be Hero under the veil, she takes him back and they get married. The ending of the play has always annoyed me, how she just accepts it, and we were trying to work out how it wouldn't be a ridiculous end. We came to the conclusion that she should be angry with Claudio. But I just couldn't do it! She is such a sad sap throughout the whole play, and to then try and turn and get angry at him was really hard.

I just couldn't understand her at all. It was incredibly frustrating, and despite eveyone's good intentions of giving me ideas to help me out, I was on the verge of tears with annoyance at myself. We eventually got something that was passable for the day, I just had to go home and think about it. The last thing we did on Friday was the first wedding scene, where Hero gets it in the neck.

And what a rollercoaster ride that scene is! Jacob, who plays Claudio was absolutely amazing in that scene. He just kept going for me, yelling right in my face and being really nasty that I was crying! I really enjoy that scene. Hero and Claudio are such dull fools, that when it all kicks off, it's really exciting!

However, the stress of rehearsing the previous scene, mixed with the crying in the wedding scene made me feel so drained. I hadn't slept well the past couple of nights either so I waas completely gone. Thankfully I had a dance rehearsal that night, and it cheered me up to see my girls and getting to be silly for a while. Especially when we dressed up as punks and ran around the town. But that's another story...

I was back in Bedford on Saturday morning, just the girls, and we worked on a scene that we had never been happy with, and managed to get something quite good involving peanuts!! You'll have to come and watch to find out what that's all about! It was a much better rehearsal, and it got me away from working my normal person job too, bonus!

I'm still struggling with the end of the play, but I'll get there. I've been playing the clown characters for so long, that to now be playing the 'pretty one' is proving to be much more difficult than I thought. Oh well, I've got three and a half days to the first performance, that's plenty of time... isn't it?!? Gulp!

Nxxx

A-Z of Acting: T is for...

Theatre.

Yes, theatre. My first love, sigh. I had another two rehearsals for Much Ado this week, Monday and Friday. I was so excited to be heading back on Monday, but I only ended up being there for 90 minutes. Don't get me wrong, it was a good 90 minutes, full of giggling and mirth, but I wanted more!

Unfortunately, some people weren't available for rehearsals so there was only a limited amount of work that we could do with the cast members present. I drove home again happy that I'd been able to flex my acting muscles for a short while, but already itching to do more.

I was slightly grumpy for the rest of the week until Friday rolled around. There were other rehearsals happening during the week, but I wasn't required for them. I felt like I was missing out and I didn't like it!

Thankfully Friday rolled around and the smile was back on my face. The tunes were banging out of my iPod, I was belting them out while cruising down the A6, life was good!

We were back rehearsing scenes that we hadn't looked at since day one of rehearsals, so it was nice to get back and see what we had come up with... And then everything changed!

It was fantastic! I've said before how I love watching things evolve throughout rehearsals, and this time I got to be part of it!
It's amazing how you think that you've done such a good job on a scene, and then someone sugegsts an idea for it that completely transforms it into something even better. We've still got the best part of two weeks to rehearse too, so I can only imagine how much better things can get!

Of course it helps that we have such a fabulous cast too, they're all so good that they just come up with things that amaze me every time! We completely transformed the opening scene from what we previously had, and now it looks amazing! It's funny, it sets the tone of the play perfectly, and it's thrown my character an interesting moment which could get the audience's brain ticking over. She is no longer quite the boring person she used to be!

I absolutely cannot wait to get back into rehearsals this week. From now on I'm involved in every single one so I won't be feeling left out any more! We're starting to rehearse in our venues now too, which is very exciting indeed! I can't wait to see them! The whole cast will be there on Wednesday so we'll be able to do a full run of the whole show. I'm beyond excited! There's so much that I haven't seen and I'll get to see it all put together for the first time. I can feel the magic in the air already!

And the best part is that we've still got so far to go! More things will change, even on the performances. That's why theatre kicks film and TV's arse. Things are never ever the same twice. Once you're on camera that's it, you'll see the same thing every time, but with theatre, you can come and watch our show all 9 times and you'll see something different every single time.

I've also been making my costume too! I bought a dress that I've had to alter, to make it longer, as Hero was looking like a bit of a floozy(!), but I've also made a wedding veil for her. I know I'm biased, but oh my goodness it's beautiful! I've put beads all around the outside and it has fabric butterflies along the bottom edge, it's perfect! I think that I've put it on and gazed at myself in the mirror every night since it's been finished so far! Oops! I just look so bridal! Haha!

I received my final call sheet last night with our final rehearsal schedule and call times for the shows which got me very excited indeed. They were all scribbled down in my diary in huge letters while I was squealing with delight!

Last night I also caught up with 'The Voice', the BBC singing talent show. Some people think badly of me for watching it but I don't care. Yes, many moons ago when it first began I used to watch X Factor, but it got out of control and I'm fed up of seeing Simon money-maker Cowell exploiting people to get his Christmas Number One. What I like about The Voice is that it really is about people's talents. You don't have the endless comedy auditions that they put on for the audience's amusement, it's people who can actually sing, and the coaches can't see what they look like. It's how it should be.

Anyway, a contestant on Saturday's show was Cleo, who used to be in a band with her sister back in the glory days of pop, called Cleopatra. She's back and is trying to carve out a solo career for herself. In her VT before her solo performance on Saturday, she said that she had been receiving and reading things about her about how she didn't deserve to be there because she'd already had her moment of fame, and people were being negative towards her.

It's not the same, but I felt that I knew where she was coming from, as I had received another agent rejection last week. I'm not beating myself up about it, and I just brushed it away and forgot about it, but I felt that we both deserved a chance. This time she's doing something different to what she'd done in the past, we're both just trying to show people what we can do.

Cleo stepped onto the stage and in my opinion, gave the best performance of the night, hands down. She was amazing. More than amazing. Phenomenal. She was up against a girl in her team who she did lose out to, (who I think is a bit overrated)and in her interview afterwards, she said that she knew that she would be going home so she made sure that she was going to go out in the best possible way. And she really did.

One of the coaches on The Voice is Jessie J, and she said something that stuck with me, so I had to go back and watch it again. She said, "There's a very very thin line between survival and giving up, and you can either be defeated and go "I'm done," or you can step forward and give a performance like that."

After all of the doubts that I've had about myself over the last few weeks, that was another thing that made me sit up and think, screw you all, this is my career, I'm bloody good at what I do. If you don't want to see it then fine, but I'm going to carry on because I love it, and one day maybe I will make it and you'll be kicking yourselves that you didn't see it sooner, and then it will be too late.

So watch out audiences, because I'm ready to kick some serious ass in these last two weeks of rehearsal, even if my character is a bit of a wet lettuce, I'll be the bloody best wet lettuce you've ever seen. Bring it on!!

Nxxx

A-Z of Acting: S is for...

Surprises, sets and, erm, snogging!


The last week and a bit was just what I needed to get my head back in the right place to be getting on with Much Ado. Fortunately I have a summer birthday, and (although it happens on the same day every year) it was perfectly timed.


Although I was insanely excited to be back in acting work again, I hadn't been too happy with the work that I was doing, so I needed a kick up the backside to get me going again.

Annoyingly, I'd volunteered to work my birthday at my normal person job, but the sun was shining, and I was working with a guy who made the day go really quickly as we had quite a lot of fun, so that was a bonus. I was then taken out by my parents for dinner! Normally my dad is the kind of man who will take us to a bog standard 2 for 1 pub, but he chose well and paid full price for everyone's meals! It seems people can change, haha!

My other half came along with us, and gave me my birthday gifts while we were all sat around the table. I won't list what I got because you'll all be jealous(!), but the first thing that he handed to me was an envelope with a piece of paper in it. He had told me that we were going out for the day, but he hadn't told me where. I opened the envelope and found out that we were going to the Warner Brothers Harry Potter Studio Tour! I almost screamed with excitement! Good job Mr Boyfriend!

Wednesday rolled around, and I was beyond excited. We went out for breakfast before driving down to Leavesden, and I was buzzing all the way. Once the tickets were in my hand I practically bounded through the doors, and was snapping away with my camera at everything in the entrance, we hadn't even got in yet!

It sounds stupid, but once the tour started, it really was magical. It begins at the doors to the Great Hall, and once I saw them, my jaw dropped, and a wave of butterflies took over me. It was like I was a child again.

The tour couldn't have been better. There were set pieces, costumes, wigs, props, everything I could have wanted. I went and knocked on the Dursley's front door in Privet Drive, got on the Knight Bus, sat in the Ford Anglia, stood outside my favourite shop in Diagon Alley (Flourish and Blotts, by the way!), it was perfect.

The other half knew that I wanted to go, as I had been moaning months before that all of my friends were going and I wasn't, but I don't think he understood what good it did me.

Being in that environment where everything around you comes together to create something beautiful is amazing. People there were surprised at how much goes into films, and although I'm no expert, I know that it's a big job. It reminded me of how much I love doing what I do, and on the way home I couldn't wait for the next day to arrive when I would be back in rehearsals. I didn't think it would have that effect on me, I thought that I'd just be another excited Harry Potter fangirl, but it just gave me that push to get my acting head back on and work hard, so that maybe one day I'll get to hang out on sets like those as an actor, rather than just a spectator.

I woke up on Thursday ready for action, but had to wait a few hours to do my stuff as I wasn't called to rehearsal until 1.30. I drove myself to Bedford belting out a load of power ballads (some days my iPod just knows how to make me happy) so I was in the best of moods when I got to the theatre.

We rehearsed the end of the play, another scene where I don't really have a great deal to say(!), but there's a few things for me to do. Of course, everything is resolved and people get their happy ever after, which is marvellous for my character after what she goes through. The lovely Jacob, who plays Claudio, decided that to show his happiness at the end, he would pick me up and spin me around. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I HATE being picked up, I know how much I weigh and I'm just terrified that I'll break the person doing the lifting. He was having none of it. Before I knew what was happening I was in the air screaming at him to put me down. The rest of the cast thought it was highly amusing. I didn't. I pleaded with them to not let it happen, but Jacob told me that I was being ridiculous, and threw me over his shoulder like a caveman and marched me round the field before I begged him to stop as I was falling out of my bra!

I didn't mind his nesxt character choice so much, as it involved a cheeky snog, haha! That was also another reminder of why I love acting so much! You can do what you want on stage and no-one gets offended because it's not real, and it's work, that I get paid for! What other job is there where you can say that?!?

Saturday's rehearsal was pretty much the same too, I only had one line to say in the scenes that we rehearsed, and it involved another kiss. We've been joking around saying what dull characters Hero and Claudio are, but to be fair, they seem to be having fun in this play! Haha! Jacob joked around asking when my other half was coming to watch as he was going to crank it up and make him worried... there might be fisticuffs at dawn!! Ha!

My week had been perfect, lots of surprises from my man, including the trip that had got me back in the right place, and a couple of bloody good rehearsals. I'm back, I'm happy, and I'm ready to go!

Nxxx