Natalie and the search for happiness...

The title of this post has been lovingly ripped off from a terrible Simon Pegg film that I watched a few weeks ago, 'Hector and the Search For Happiness'. Well, it's a bit unfair to call it terrible as I didn't actually make it all the way to the end. I attempted to watch it over two nights and fell asleep both times. I took that as a sign that I probably shouldn't carry on with it.

The premise of the film was that Simon Peggs character was a psychologist/psychiatrist (I don't know, I fell asleep!)and another character asked him if he was happy. He said no, and promptly went travelling around the world trying to find happiness only to realise that he was happiest back at home with his girlfriend. (I woke up for the last ten seconds and they were together so I'm assuming that's correct! Anyway, don't bother with it!)

Shortly after watching the film I managed to grab a rare afternoon together with my girlfriends and we were chatting our usual nonsense when I brought up the film. Despite being terrible, it got me thinking, and I asked my friends if they were happy. Out of the four of us, only one of us could say yes. I found that incredibly strange because we all seemed happy enough whenever we saw each other. We all met through a mutual hobby but all lead very different lives with completely different careers and life plans. We all click perfectly together and yet none of knew that the others weren't happy.

I now realise it's incredibly selfish of me to think that I've got it worse out of all of us. I'm almost 30, living with my parents , working 7 days a week and with nothing to show for it. I can't afford to move out, and I'm barely using my degree, while I watch my friends coupling off and now having babies, their lives seem so perfect. You never know what goes on behind closed doors, and I feel bad for not picking up on the fact that my friends aren't as happy as they seem. It was also really sad to think that people aren't happy.

I'm a positive person, but my career can get me down quite a bit, especially when there's no career to talk of, and after feeling down for quite some time, I decided that like Hector, I would go in search of happiness. Okay, I wouldn't go half way across the world to find it, I wouldn't do anything different, I'd just try and note the little things in life that made me smile that I normally wouldn't think about.

So, on March 1st, it began. One month of happiness searching would begin. I also decided to take a photograph of the thing that made me smile every day. That lasted two days. Oops.
March 1st was an easy one. I grabbed a handful of victims friends, and headed off to Wicksteed Park to help out an old friend with a fundraising event. We all dressed up in costumes and were part of a treasure hunt for children to take part in and win chocolate at the end. It was freezing cold and I had chosen skimpy costumes for most of them, but we all had a fun time, and the kids really enjoyed it, and it was for a totally good cause. Day one, happy, tick.

The next day I was back at the park with my fellow funmaker (yep, that's our job title!) Peter to film some stuff for the park about the lake restoration. Yet again it was freezing cold, but helping out another chum felt good, and we had lunch and a giggle together afterwards which was also good. Tick.

The third of March saw me do a regular good deed, donating a pint of blood. Saving up to three people's lives and getting a free biscuit thrown in can't fail to make you happy. This was going well!

It was also around this time that I decided that I would do something slightly new. When cleaning peoples houses I noticed that a few houses always have fresh flowers in them, so I decided that I would also do this and promptly bought myself vase and some pretty tulips to put in my bedroom. They immediately brightened up the place and brought a smile to my face. And I can say that I have carried this on throughout the whole month and beyond and currently have a vase full of orange lilies standing in my peripheral vision looking lovely. Huzzah!

I'm working so much at the moment, and making a lot of costumes. Sewing chills me out (when things go to plan), and watching all of my creations come to life was exhilarating and definitely added to the tally on my happiness chart.

A week in and I headed off to another eatery with my work husband to plough through more of our to-do list for our show, and once the end was in sight for the day, we celebrated with a giant ice cream sundae. Each. Oops!

As you will have read about in a previous post, the second week of March brought with it StageWrite 2015 in Bedford. It was my first acting job of the year, and as well as getting to work and hang out with a heap of Bedford friends, I made several new ones, and one friend even came all the way over from Kettering to support one night- smile firmly splashed across my face. Two weeks in and my mood was definitely lifted.

Week three brought so much more work, and cancelled plans, but I still squeezed in an outing for a birthday and laughed like a drain all night which is perfect in anyone's books. The end of the week brought me to re-starting my fourth job at Wicksteed. We went in for customer service training so I didn't get to speak to my colleagues much, but seeing everyone back together again warmed the cockles of my heart.

We were nearing the end of the month now, but I wasn't slowing down. Last week brought meetings about upcoming work projects, meeting my brothers new puppy, watching a couple of friends in a production of 'Little Shop of Horrors', work, work, and more work. I had refresher training for the park, and had a fabulous afternoon giggling about with my work boys. I can't say I was looking forward to going back to work, but it's definitely the people that I work with that make it truly brilliant. You know those conversations that make you cry and snort with laughter, and then you try to tell someone else about it and can't say it for laughing again, and the other person just doesn't get it? That. I love those guys.

I get to March 29th and I head down to Oxford to perform some Shakespeare at the Ashmolean Museum. It's a long but enjoyable day, and with friends coming to support, I eat cake afterwards and have a lovely afternoon. Once home, I take part in my parents charity quiz night that raises £400, taking their fundraising total to around £26,000 I think my dad said. Nice work.

I only had two days left of the month and only had work lined up so I didn't know how my happiness tally was going to be kept up, until right at the last minute on Tuesday 31st. Work husband John is currently in Scarborough *waves*, meaning that I was teaching alone. And then I had a phone call from him telling me all about how he was getting on, what he was doing, etc.
He also said how he had been inspired by what he was doing and had ideas for future plans for us to work on. I was delighted! It was brilliant to see someone else getting as fired up about acting stuff like I get when I see/do something exciting, and knowing how each other works will hopefully stand us in good stead to create something spectacular. It was only a week since I had seen him, but to chat was awesome. It was a perfect ending to a good month.

So, what did I learn from my search for happiness, and did I actually find it?


Well yes, I did. And I realised that it's been with me all along, I just haven't noticed it. Yes, I probably work too much, but the people that I work with don't make it seem like work, and I have such a great time with them that time flies and I spend a hell of a lot of time laughing.
I also found happiness in smaller things, like buying myself a new lipstick, or giggling in the back row of choir rehearsals, even in sitting down with a celebratory mug of pink wine after a hectic week. But I found my happiness in the thing that I've known all along. My friends. And helping other people. My friends are the most important people in my life. I will do anything in the world for them, and to see them happy, and I'm going to make more of an effort to try and pick up on any time when they're feeling less than chipper. Everyone deserves happiness.

I hope that more people don't forget about the little things in life that make them smile. Yes, maybe my search did have a crappy ending like Hector, but maybe that's what life is all about, just taking time to forget about everything that stresses you out. Sitting with friends and eating cake. Going out and eating ice cream before you have your dinner. Maybe it's doing something to help others like giving blood, or maybe giving money to that person standing with a charity tin on a freezing cold high street. And maybe it's just the random conversations you have with the weird and wonderful people you work with. Maybe growing beaks on humans really is the future. See, told you you wouldn't get it!

Stay happy,

Nxxx