I made what I thought was a pretty brave decision about two months ago. I was offered a tour with my last Theatre-In-Education company for 3 months doing a play that I have already done. I turned it down. “So what?” you might be thinking. Well, it seems like a big deal now. I haven’t had any acting work over the summer apart from one night’s murder mystery, and don’t have much planned for the future. Turning the job down meant turning down a lot of money, and I know it’s only September, but it’s heading towards the time of year when I spend a lot. December brings Christmas, and New Years Eve (which also happens to be a friend’s birthday), and January’s money spenders include my mum, dad and brothers birthdays, along with car insurance and breakdown cover. I also made the decision to try and break free of the vicious TIE circle, so the decision was made and here I am back home living with my parents and signing on. But at least I’m not living out of a suitcase!
And now that I’m not on tour, it’s audition season! Yay! Over the past few weeks I have been to four different auditions for panto, oh yes I have! And every single one of them has been a different experience, as this blog will now explain...
Audition #1: Peter Pan, London. I wasn’t looking forward to this audition. Well, I was, but this was the week of the London riots. I hadn’t been paying much attention to the exact locations of the rioting but I was extremely nervous about going to our fair capital. I had been told to prepare a song and that was it. That sounded easy enough. My audition wasn’t until 4.10pm so I had plenty of time to get there in the day, and possibly find an alternative route to the audition location if the city was being overrun by looters. I boarded the 2pm train from Kettering which would get me into London by 3, with plenty of time to find my destination. I didn’t have to change trains during the journey so I found myself a nice window seat, put in my iPod, playing my chosen audition song on repeat, and promptly fell asleep. I woke up just as the train was pulling into St Pancras and prayed that I hadn’t been snoring or dribbling like a baby during the journey!
I found the underground route easily and before I knew it I had arrived at the location; the American Church on Tottenham Court Rd. I wasn’t quite sure where I was supposed to go when I arrived, but as it was only 3.20 when I got there, I stood around waiting to see if anyone else would arrive so I could follow them in while trying not to look like a weird stalker. It took a while for someone else to turn up so I spent a few minutes in a quiet corner practising my song, much to the amusement of a few pedestrians! Finally I saw another girl looking slightly lost and bewildered so I followed her around the back of the church and after a brief chat on the intercom, we were in! We walked up a couple of flights of grubby stairs following some hand-written signs, and joined the queue of people waiting in a dingy corridor outside the audition room. We were given a form to fill in, and some scripts to read over, which we would be reading in the audition. The panto was Peter Pan. When I applied, the only role they were looking for was Peter, but I had to be prepared to read for Peter, Wendy and Smee, with no idea what they would ask for once I got in the room.
Of course, as usual, the auditions were running late, and I wouldn’t end up getting into my audition until 4.30pm. M nerves were holding up pretty well considering I could hear every single word that each person was singing/saying in their auditions as the door wouldn’t shut properly, and the building must have been the most echo-ey in the whole of London. I sat talking to the girl next to me for a while until we ran out of things to say so we both just read our scripts along with whoever was speaking the words inside, seeing if we could pinch ideas for how to perform the scripts! About ten minutes before I went in, a boy arrived. When I arrived there were about 8 other girls there, some left, more arrived but no boys. And when he did finally turn up, he looked absolutely terrified. I wanted to ask him if he was alright but I didn’t dare in case he threw up on my shoes! After a few minutes he managed to get some words out and asked us if we had auditioned before. My new friend and myself said no, we hadn’t auditioned for this company before, but it turned out we had misunderstood his question. He wanted to know if we had done ANY auditions before. He hadn’t had any training, he just thought he’d try his luck at this audition, hence his green appearance. I heard his audition through the half-open door and to be fair to him, he was quite alright! He didn’t sound like he crumbled at any point. I hope he did well, he looked a much better colour when he came out!
The girl who I had been talking to was a couple of people in front of me, so while she went in I took advantage of the time I had and went to use the bathroom. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m not very good with doors. I spent a few seconds struggling with the door to the cubicle until I realised that someone was inside the cubicle, and that someone was one of the audition panel. Fail. Thankfully she wasn’t in the room for my audition or I would have cried!
And then it was time! I’d spent over an hour on trains and tubes, an hour and 10 minutes waiting for my turn and now was my moment to shine. I was in! While getting my head together when I’d got in the room I managed to completely ignore the man on the panel when he asked me what song I was going to sing, and stood there looking into space like a moron! Not the best start. But I sang a verse of ‘What I Did For Love’ from ‘A Chorus Line’, and it went quit well! Then it was time to read the script. I ended up reading the part of Peter, in a scene with Wendy. For some bizarre reason that wasn’t explained, Peter had to adopt a Fatboy from EastEnders persona half way through the scene and I stood wondering what on Earth I was doing in front of an audition panel screeching out the words ‘Alright baby girl?’ to a man playing Wendy Darling! The man playing Wendy began to laugh uncontrollably... Again. He had been auditioning people all day long, and for the past hour I had heard him laugh at that line over and over again. Surely it wasn’t that funny! I only managed to get half way through the page when they said that was enough and I was booted out of the room. I had been in there for less than five minutes. I was quite annoyed. I know they had to get through a lot of people, and auditions aren’t usually that long, but I really felt like an animal, being shepherded in, made to dance for them and then shoved back out onto the streets again. I dragged my hooves back down the stairs and out onto the streets where I came face to face with the woman whose privacy I had tried to invade in the toilets. Brilliant. I was suddenly quite looking forward to the train home!
Audition #2: Aladdin/The Nutcracker, Northampton. I had received an email about this audition without even applying, which was nice! I thought I recognised the name of the company and on checking my emails, it appeared that they had been emailing me for the past 3 years but I never responded as I already had work over the panto period. But this year I finally responded and I was auditioning! Being local, I hopped in the car and drove over, arriving an hour early. I was told that the audition would be in a youth club on an industrial estate which sounded ominous, but obviously they were right and I arrived at the right place. As I was an hour early, I was the first person there, and it seemed I was the only person around for miles. I took that as a perfect opportunity to practice my song in the car. Today I had chosen ‘Unexpected Song’. I sounded quite good in practice! Of course I wasn’t nervous then!
As time ticked by, I realised that I really needed the toilet, but no-one was arriving and I was beginning to wonder if I was actually in the right place. I saw a couple of other cars turn up and watched as people tried to open the door to the youth centre in vain before returning to their vehicles. With the audition due to start at 2pm, the company bosses finally arrived at 1.55pm, just as I was about to burst! By now it had begun to rain so we all made a run for it inside ready to see what lied in store for us. There were only 8 of us auditioning that day, so I was wondering what would be expected of me- the email said to be prepared to stay for up to 3 hours!
It turned out we would be doing some drama workshops, woo! We did some half-hearted warm ups, including walking around the room as different panto characters before we were split into 2 groups and told to come up with a couple of scenes from Cinderella. We all had to play more than one character, had ten minutes to rehearse, and then present it to the group. I was clearly in the weaker group(!) but we got on with it, and made everyone laugh. I’m not sure whether it was because we were funny or just too appalling to watch! I played Buttons, a stepsister, and a palace guard who chased after Cinderella as she lost her shoe. I also played a clock, I kid you not! But I was the best damned clock they’d ever see! After watching the other group perform their pretty spectacular full-story of Cinderella, it was time for individual auditions. We were shoved in a back room to wait, but could still hear pretty much everything that was going on. I was fourth down the list, and thankfully the other auditionees were so lovely I got chatting and forgot what I was even there for. It wasn’t until I walked through the audition room door that I got nervous. But they were lovely people, my song went well. My monologue could have gone slightly better, but I chatted them round into thinking I was an amazing actress to have on board, and we all finished smiling and happy! Audition 2, done!
Audition #3, Cinderella, Kettering. This was the big one. The one I had been preparing for for a whole month. I was so ridiculously excited it was unbelievable. Imagine it, I could be playing Cinderella in my home town at the Lighthouse Theatre. It was my time! The casting breakdown stated that they were looking for a female between the ages of 16-28, no taller than 5 foot 7, and from the Kettering area. I fit every single one of those criteria. Surely the job was mine? I had to prepare 2 songs for this one, a pop song, and a song suitable for a princess. I had thought long and hard about my choices and had come up with some crackers! My pop song was ‘Say You’ll Be Mine’ by the glorious Steps! My reason being, panto makes you happy so I needed a song that makes me happy. Clearly I was going down the S Club/Steps route! My princess song was ‘Home’ from Beauty and the Beast Broadway. I thought a lot of people would be doing the Disney film songs so of course I had to go Broadway! I downloaded my backing tracks, rehearsed daily. I was ready!
In the end, it became an open audition, so I was expecting hundreds of chavvy girls from Kettering turning up expecting to be the next big thing. I wasn’t having that! The audition started at 12 noon, so naturally I arrived at 10am. Vocal warm-ups in the car, song practice, the lot. As I parked my car I noticed something very strange... I wasn’t the first person there! I couldn’t believe it! It was 10am! What was someone doing there 2 hours early?!? I watched her from a safe distance. At around 10.30, more people started arriving! There was now a small crowd of 5 girls, all waiting outside the locked door. Was there something I didn’t know? I wasn’t having that! I got straight out of the car and marched over to the theatre door. I would not be at the back of the queue! It turned out that the first girl was in a play that day so she had asked to audition early so she could speed back down to Reading to perform in the afternoon. The rest of them were just early. Hmmm. We were let in at around 11am and had to sit and wait in the bar area.
There was an hour to kill, and after we had all exhausted every possible “look at me, I’m amazing” conversation that all actors seem to have, everyone’s iPods came out, vocal exercises were performed, and tuneful hums bounced off the walls. I got bored and spotted a guy I know that works at the theatre. I walked over to talk to him, had been there about 30 seconds when I heard a stampede behind me. I turned around to find that registration had opened, and I was at the back of the queue. Brilliant. I grabbed my application form, joined the queue and got my audition number. And then it began. One by one, the girls that I sat with went in, being the first ones in the queue. I sat and smiled and congratulated them as they all came out having received a ‘yes’ to got through to the next round. Thankfully I got distracted as the local paper, the Evening Telegraph’ turned up. I was hoping to get a little interview taken but instead I was just part of the group photo.
The hours rolled by, and still I was getting nowhere further up the list. All of the girls I had spoken to had left, but thankfully I found a friend who I had performed with a few years ago and I sat with her while we waited. Finally, at 3pm, it was my turn! My enthusiasm for the audition had dwindled, having been sat there for 5 hours. I now had a pounding headache and my hair had gone frizzy. I felt like I looked like a tramp- everyone else was dressed up in pretty dresses with 6-inch high heels on and inch-thick make-up on their faces and then there was me... Although, to be fair, I had put thought into my outfit. Starting at the bottom, I had black dolly shoes on, as every Disney princess wears. I had long blue short on that looked like a skirt when I stood up, very much like Cinderella’s skirt, and I was also sporting a blue top with horses printed on it- Cinderella’s carriage gets pulled by a horse. See, thought! Unfortunately my shorts had become creased beyond belief and I just didn’t care what I looked like! It didn’t help matters that the girl who went in just before me was the most amazing singer! It was a good job I didn’t sing ‘Unexpected Song’ again because I would have sounded like a slug compared to her version! She clearly got a ‘yes’.
And then I walked in. I was asked a few questions about work I had done, I was bigged up to the producer as I was a member of Starlight, he was told about out national win and how amazing we are. I then told them my song choices and they chose my princess song. It went well, I hit all the notes, I acted it out amazingly(!) and that was that. After a few more probing questions it was decision time. Would I still be going to the ball? Was I going to Cinderella boot camp? Maybe. I got a maybe! It had gone so well, and all I got was a maybe. Still, at least it wasn’t a no! I’d have to wait and see...
Audition #4, Cinderella, Barnsley. This was the last one. My final shot at getting a panto this year. I hadn’t seen any more auditions popping up for them, could this be the one? Thankfully I was successful enough to get an audition, so I was happy. I was less chuffed at what they sent me though. I was sent pages of the script to read and also an mp3 of the song they wanted everyone to sing. It was ‘When You Believe’ from the Prince of Egypt, also made famous by some X-Factor winner, I can’t remember which one. Needless to say, it was out of my comfortable vocal range and I struggled hitting the top notes. It looked like I was heading for disaster. I rehearsed as much as I could, and then the day arrived. It was to be a 2 hour 15 minute journey on the train, changing twice, followed by a short bus journey. I had to be on the ball, I didn’t want a repeat of Wolverhampton... we all know how that went! I didn’t have to get the train until 12.30 which was nice, I pottered about the house in the morning, trying to prepare for any eventuality. I was surprisingly calm on the journey up, my changes ran smoothly, yet again I had my iPod playing the audition song on repeat. It didn’t last long though, it’s a terrible song, I couldn’t bear to listen to it for more than half an hour. When I arrived in Barnsley, I then had to find the appropriate bus. I had done my research and knew I had to get the 66, and from stand 2 of the travel interchange. However, when I arrived at stand 2, bus 66 didn’t depart from it! I raced to the information desk and thankfully received helpful information, and made my way to the right stand. I double checked with the driver that I was on the right bus and asked if he could tell me when to get off, which he agreed to do. So far so good. I sat as close to the driver as I could so that he wouldn’t forget about me! We had been driving for about 5 minutes when I noticed a girl in front of me talking to a couple of elderly ladies about an audition she was going to. She then spoke to the driver about where to get off. Yes! Someone else going my way! Two lost people is always better than one lost person! As soon as she made her move to get off the bus I followed her and immediately saw the theatre. Success!
We walked in, and it was tiny! Lovely, but tiny! We were greeted by two of the production staff who told us all about the company and what to expect if we were to be successful. It sounded perfect. And then it was time to go in! There were two men on the panel, both very lovely too. They asked me about myself (which I hate answering!), then it was time to sing. Despite the theatre holding only 170 people, I still had to sing into a microphone when I really didn’t need one! I took a deep breath and off I went. Note perfect, no squeaking or anything! I amazed myself! Then it was script time. They had sent me the scripts for Cinderella and the Fairy Godmother. They asked me to read the Fairy. Typical. I thought it was going well, but there was mobile phone interference with the microphone and both men immediately jumped on their phones and looked like they were both texting while I was doing my fabulous fairy speech. Rude! I then read another fairy scene with the boss playing Cinderella and that was it! Job done again. Another bus journey and 2 hours 15 minutes of trains home again.
So, that’s 4 auditions, almost 6 hours of train journeys, lots of pounds spent on travel, and have I got a job from any of them? Oh no I haven’t... yet. Only time will tell.
Nxxx
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