Wednesday, 27 March 2013

A-Z of Acting. H is for...

Hope.

I think many actors would give up if they didn’t have hope that they would continue to get work and be successful in their careers.

I’ve said before about how often actors get rejected for jobs, and yet those dedicated enough continue to slog away every day to chase their dreams. It’s all about hope.

The week before last, as regular readers will know, I attended an open evening for a job at Wicksteed Park, Kettering’s theme park. I had my interview on Monday… and got the job! I was really happy once I received the text message, and immediately, like most people living in this day and age, I wrote a Facebook status expressing my joy. A few minutes later, one of my directors commented on it regarding doing Shakespeare this summer.

Last summer I performed in ‘The Merry Wives of Windsor’ around Bedfordshire, and I was hoping to be able to perform in this years show too. Last year the performances were in June, so I thought that if that was the case this year, and I was successful in auditioning, then I might be able to have the same fun again, as the park doesn’t open full time until July. I found out that the shows this year are in July. I couldn’t believe it!

Of course, nothing in life is guaranteed, but I was gutted that I could be missing out on the chance to act again. I was so happy that someone finally employed me, as I’ve been without money for so long, but now I might have to choose between that job, and doing the thing that I’m trained for and love above everything. My mood plummeted.

I can never stay in a bad mood for very long, and I just had to pick my frown up off the floor and hope for the best. I’m allowed holiday at the park, and I’m probably not going to be working there every day of the week, so there’s still a chance that I might be able to do the play, especially if rehearsals are in June.

As far as problems go, it’s not a huge deal. People have to make much tougher decisions every day. I’m pretty sure that if I’m unable to do the play, I’ll still work again, it’s not like my acting career will come to an end just because there’s one show that I would have loved to have been in but couldn’t. I’ll hopefully be making a nice pile of cash over the summer, providing that we get one and the snow stays away! Just think of all the auditions all over the country that I could get to with that money!
That’s the way to think about it. You’ve just got to keep hoping. Things will turn out ok :)

Nxxx

Facebook: Natalie Castka Actor Twitter: @nataliecastka

Sunday, 17 March 2013

A-Z of Acting. G is for...

Goals.

Ah, here we are again. A lot has happened this week compared to normal. Most things that took place this week feel like weeks ago, and yet here we are again on Sunday night in the same spot, typing away! It’s like the week has flown by!

Anyway, to business. Goals. It’s probably safe to say that actors will do anything to reach their goals. After all, we get asked to do the most ridiculous things in auditions to try and get jobs, and we rarely bat an eyelid and get on with it, without fear of the consequences.

This week I went through quite a lot to hopefully progress further and reach my goals of success. First up came ‘agents’. That’s right, I sent my first agent applications off on Tuesday. I did it all from the comfort of my bedroom floor, I sought out a few agents, composed my cover letters, and sent them off via my casting website of choice. And I was absolutely terrified! I don’t know why it felt so scary, I wasn’t going to get rejected to my face, I was safe behind my laptop screen! I think it’s because you’re seeking out people to help you further your career, and if they don’t see something in you, you feel like you’re not good enough. Anyway, I’ve not heard back yet, so I’m going to have to keep applying and hope for the best!

Later on that day came a couple of pieces of good news! Firstly I received an email asking if I was still interested in a film that I’d applied for about 6 months ago, if so, there would be a meeting in Northampton on Saturday that I was invited along to. Of course I replied yes straight away. This email was shortly followed by a phone call offering me a murder mystery for Sunday afternoon. Fantastic! One weekend of acting, sorted!

On Wednesday I tried to attack another goal, trying to make money. Large Trevor at the job centre had told me that Wicksteed Park, Kettering’s theme park, were having a couple of open days for jobs for this years summer season. He advised me that it would be best to go on the Wednesday night, as everyone would go on the Saturday. Oh how wrong Trevor was! The open evening was scheduled for 4.30-7.30pm. I decided to eat before I left, so I arrived at the park at 5.30pm. I joined the long queue and began the wait of doom.

The process was mind-numbingly slow. It took me two and a half hours just to get to the door to get inside, and at least another hour to get to speak to someone for my initial interview. I passed the first stage with flying colours, and then progressed up the stairs to the next process, talking to people from different departments that you were interested in. If any of them were impressed by you, they could offer you an interview at a later date. I ended up leaving the park at 10pm. So many times in the queue I was tempted to just walk home, the cold was unbearable, I was jumping up and down to try and stay warm, but then my body just started shaking by itself uncontrollably. I got so angry! Thankfully, on Friday I received a text message offering me an interview, so hopefully I didn’t lose an evening and all of my toes for nothing.

I couldn’t wait for Saturday to roll around for my film meeting. I made my way to Northampton, and after I ended up in the wrong location for five minutes, I rocked up and met some of the others involved. I was asked if I was there for the rehearsal, and despite being slightly confused by this, I went along with it! Everyone else turned up and we made our way inside to begin proceedings. I figured out very quickly that I was brought in as a replacement for someone, as everyone knew their characters, had notes all over their script, and all I knew was the name of the film! I was told who I would be playing and it turned out I would be the female lead! An acting coach was brought in to help the day along, and he told us that we would read the script, and then hot seat each other to try and get to know our characters. What?!? I hadn’t even read a single word, and I was expected to come up with a character on the spot?!? I was terrified. The read-through went well, and the script was very straightforward, but then came the hot seating.

I would be playing a policewoman, but being oblivious to the police force I had to ask some questions about what a ‘DS’ actually was before I even attempted to answer questions on the hot seat! I don’t know how I managed to get through it but I did, and we finished up by working on a couple of scenes, both of which I was involved in. It was good fun, and having someone there to help us out was incredibly useful. Normally with the short films I’ve done, you just turn up and get on with it, but this rehearsal day really helped. It was fantastic. I just hoped I did a good enough job!

Thankfully I received an email from the director that night expressing his sheer delight and thanks that I was able to join in at such short notice, and he was really pleased with how the day went. I was sent details of the shoot dates, it seemed like I was in! Looks like it’s time to do some police research! Gulp! I’m determined to make this a success as much as I can for this company, especially as they have been let down by this other actress. I know that it happens all the time, and it makes me so angry that people don’t think it will matter. The shoot is in 2 weeks time, so I’ve got a lot of work to do before we start, but I’m really looking forward to it. I always try my best in every job that I do, otherwise people will never want to work with you again, and you’ve said you’ll do the job, so you have to do it properly while you’re there! I’m just angry that people give actors a bad name by thinking that they’re the most important people involved. If there was no crew, there would be no film, the actors are just the final pieces! I also found out that the girl who previously had the role wasn’t even a professional, but somehow had managed to get in, she’ll never make it if she lets people down! Clearly she doesn’t have any goals! But I shouldn’t get too angry, her unprofessionalism has given me a shot and I can’t wait. Plus it’s another role on my CV, and this time I’ve got a substantial part! Yippee!

And then came today’s murder mystery! I was slightly apprehensive about it, it was a lady’s 50th birthday party in her house! We just had to turn up and act in her home! It was so strange! Thankfully the family were the nicest people you could ever meet, and after some intense interrogation, they insisted that we stay for some birthday food. They put some music on and I was so tempted to stay behind and party, but that probably would have broken the company’s rules!

I’ve had such a good week. Everything I’ve done has helped me so much, even queuing up for a ‘normal’ job. It’s been so long since I had one that I’d almost forgotten what interviewing was like!

My agent hunting has helped me to become more confident in knowing the people that I want to be in my life to help me achieve what I want, getting through to the interview stage of this job has given me the knowledge that I’m not actually useless in real life(!), and being given the opportunity of this film, and receiving the email last night has boosted my confidence in my abilities. The director was so grateful and complimentary to me that I spent the rest of the day pretty much bouncing off the walls in delight! Yesterday was the easy part, now comes the hard work in making myself good in the part! That’s my next goal. Well, apart from tomorrow’s Wicksteed Park interview!

Yes, my long term goal is probably to be a huge success and to be in demand for my acting abilities, but every now and then a week like this comes along and throws a few more goals at you, and you’ve got to grab them, work hard and get to where you want to be. And I love it!

Nxxx

Twitter: @nataliecastka Facebook: Natalie Castka Actor

Sunday, 10 March 2013

A-Z of acting. F is for...

Failure?

It’s hard to not think of yourself as failing when you’re not doing any acting when you’re supposed to be an actor. In my last blog entry, I wrote about how much effort it takes just to try and get to the audition stage of jobs, and when you don’t even get that far, it can be incredibly disheartening.

I’m incredibly grateful for every single acting job that I have had, but people don’t understand that when you’re struggling away at the bottom of the pile, that you’re not actually earning a great deal of money, if any at all. I miss money! I spent the majority of four years travelling the UK and Ireland doing theatre-in-education shows. Before I started them, it wasn’t something that I wanted to do, but I learned a lot from each job, made some fantastic friends, and was fortunate enough to be asked back by almost every company for more jobs. And the money was good! I just got bored of living out of a suitcase and feeling like I didn’t really have a home.

When I gave up touring, I foolishly thought that it would be easy to get work now that I had a fair few credits on my CV, but it has been a hard slog. I’ve absolutely loved the jobs that I’ve had, and they have been opportunities that I would never have had if I was still waking up at 5am to drive for 2 hours to a school to perform for kids that didn’t want to be there, and being at home has meant that I’ve got to spend more time with my friends who are the most important people in my life.

It’s just that it can drag you down when you go out and see people who you haven’t seen for a while who ask you what you’re up to, and you have to tell them ‘nothing’. I recently received a Facebook invitation to a school reunion, which scared the pants off me for a few reasons. The first one being that I feel old! Surely I can’t be at that age now where I’m having reunions, they’re for old people aren’t they? I haven’t reached 30 yet! The other main reason for shuddering with despair is what I’ll have to say to people when we meet up again. I’m in the minority, being one of the very people from my year at school who are not married, have children or are divorced (I kid you not). My Facebook feed is full of people clutching their newborns, or playing with their toddlers, or even being chuffed that their child has got into their chosen school. Every week there is a new engagement or wedding, and I can barely recognise half the names on there any more due to my female friends wedded name changes.

So what am I going to say when I turn up to my reunion? “Hi, you probably don’t remember me because I was distinctly average, but I’m now an actress. No, you haven’t seen me in anything…” Cue awkward silence before people get their phones out and show me their wedding photos and endless pics of their offspring with food all around their faces and stuffing toys into their mouths.

I’ve just been watching Top Gear this evening, and the boys have been in Africa. I was watching it enviously, wishing that I was in a different country. Just for a holiday. But I can’t even afford a passport at the minute, let alone afford to jet off to the sunshine for a week. Back on the theme of weddings and I’ve also been invited to two hen do’s for two lovely friends, one of which is coming up very soon. There is the obligatory Facebook group outlining details of the event, and with talk of it costing over £100, I’m trying to find a way of saying that I can’t go without attracting too much attention to myself. The bride even offered to pay for me last night which absolutely can’t happen. That happened to me twice last year, when people had to pay for me to go to places because they wanted me to be there. It was lovely that I was wanted, but there’s always the underlying awkwardness of hoping no-one knows that you’ve had to be helped out.

Of course people will tell me to get a non-acting job, but I know that as soon I as would get one, the most perfect of acting jobs would turn up and I’d have to let people down, which I hate doing.
I went food shopping with my dad earlier this week, and we went to the till and were served by a lady that we know. My dad made his usual comments about me being lazy and doing nothing, and she said to me “Oh, are you looking for a job?” I replied with “Always!” My dad chipped in with, “Yeah, but not a proper one!” for her to reply with, “Oh, I know of one! I know that you’re going to be an actress one day, but…” which is where I stopped listening. Just because I’m not working at the minute doesn’t stop me being an actress. Just because you haven’t seen me on Downton Abbey doesn’t mean I’m not an actress. I have been working. It’s just that you haven’t seen what I’ve been doing. Get yourself to the theatre and you’re likely to see me there. Buy a ticket and I’m more likely to get paid! I’ve been acting professionally for over five years now, I’d say that I have a vague idea of what I’m doing now, and I am an actor!!

When I toured, I missed so many things from being at opposite ends of the country, but now that I’m here with no money, I still can’t do things, it’s infuriating! My course leader at university once said to us “In this industry, you either choose your career, or you choose a relationship” (which always baffled me since he was still having an acting career while being married with children), but to me it seems like I either have to choose my career, or life!

It’s far too easy to say that I’ll give acting up and get a ‘proper’ job so that once again I have money in my pocket, but I can’t. It’s the only thing I can do! My A-Level results were so bad that I can’t even remember what I got for them, I’ve pushed them out of my memory!
It will be much to the relief of the job centre that I’ve applied for two normal person jobs this week, but I’m really not happy about it!

The slog is just going to have to continue until I start getting somewhere with my life. Even if I have to live with my parents until I’m 50, I can’t give up. I’m going to have to hold my head high at my school reunion, and say “No, you haven’t seen me in anything, but watch this space, because one day I WILL be on your television snogging Jude Law”, I won’t let the Job Centre bully me into working at Poundland for no money. Even if I only get one acting job a year that maybe only lasts for half a day, at least I can still say I’m doing what I want to be doing, I’m not a failure. I’m working hard for what I want to do with my life.

Nxxx

Twitter: @nataliecastka Facebook: Natalie Castka Actor

Thursday, 7 March 2013

A-Z of Acting. E is for...

Effort.


Well to start with, it’s been an effort to try and get myself to write this blog this week! But I’ll get to that later.
Ah, effort. I use so much of it. People often think that actors have it easy. They only think of the lucky few that have their faces all over televisions and cinema screens across the world, but they don’t think about the rest of us, who stumble on every day, hoping that we’ll get seen and might get a paid job one day.

I’m not going to lie, one of the reasons I started blogging was in the vain hope that someone might notice my need to act and hire me! I’ve tried most things, Facebook pages, Twitter, profiles on various casting websites and anything remotely linked to the acting profession, and so far… not a sausage.

I’ve been lucky in the fact that I’ve done enough work now to knock up a reasonable acting CV (compare it to my normal person CV and you’d think I was a global megastar!), but it’s still a daily struggle with a gargantuan amount of effort to get anywhere.

Due to my poor finances, I still live at home with my parents. My dad comments almost daily on how little I’ve done with my day. He has no idea. To him, I’m just sitting on my laptop browsing the internet. In reality, yes I am doing that, but I’m spending hours on casting websites, looking for an agent, and trying to promote myself to people who have no idea I exist. If I’m lucky, there might be a handful of jobs that I’m suitable for that I will apply for, only to never hear back from them.

I have three email accounts linked to my phone, each with its own distinctive ringtone, depending on what type of email I am receiving. Every now and again, the glorious tone of my second email account will sound, and I eagerly snatch up my phone hoping that I will have had some response to a job, only to find that it’s some spam email, or the latest update from Ebay. But every so often, I’m treated to a response from a company, and sometimes it’s even good news!

This happened to me a couple of weeks ago. I had applied for a musical in London, and I had been selected for an audition. I nearly fell off my bed. The first audition of 2013! Bring it on! However, even before I’d got to the audition, it was a real effort…

I had to be in London and at my audition for 10.45am, meaning the train I would have to catch would be at peak time, costing me almost £70. I spent a good hour online, trying to find cheap tickets to no avail. In the end, I found that I could do it for just over £25 if I travelled from Bedford. It was the exact same train from Kettering, but it left Bedford after peak time. Perfect. The day rolled around, and I left the house at an obscene time of the morning and made the familiar route across the county border. After a slight hold-up on the way, I reached Bedford with 45 minutes to spare before my train departed. I foolishly thought that I would be able to park in a side street somewhere not too far from the station, but I was very wrong. I’d never noticed before, but practically every street in Bedford requires paying to park! I drove around for nearly half an hour in frustration before relenting, and making my way to the multi-storey car park in town. Thankfully I made it to my train with minutes to spare.

Of course with it being an early morning train to London, I found myself without a seat, and had to stand at the end of the carriage, next to the bike racks. Glamorous. We reached the capital without any fuss, and as I had planned my route on the Tube, I made my way to Leicester Square with no problems. It was only when I made my way to the exit that I had issues. I had no idea where the theatre was. I made my way in around 4 different directions before deciding to head in the direction of M&M World and hope for the best. Thankfully I found a map and located where I needed to be. I arrived ten minutes early. Phew.

That wasn’t the only effort I had gone through before entering the audition room. The audition required me to bring along sheet music for two contrasting songs. I don’t own much sheet music, I rarely go to auditions where I need it, it’s mostly backing tracks these days, of which I have plenty. I had the sheet music for one of my choices, but was still unsure of what to sing for my second choice, and time was running out fast. I found a song that I wanted to sing, but there was no way of downloading the music anywhere, I had to purchase the whole book of the musical. Ugh. I found it on ebay, bought it and hoped that it would arrive in time. It didn’t. I then had to go back to a previous choice of song, which thankfully I was able to download, and off I went. I was only asked to sing one song in the end, and I chose the song that I had hastily picked. It actually went very well and I was pleased with my audition… I didn’t get a recall. All that effort for nothing. Oh well.

Of course there’s always another side to it, and I’ve just received a text message asking me if I’d be interested in a student’s final major project short film. I’ve worked with them before, so it’s nice to be appreciated and thought of as good enough to work with them again. If only all work was like this!

As I said right at the start of this entry, it’s been an effort to get myself to write this. I normally write on a Sunday evening, but I was in no fit state to do anything of the sort last weekend. I ran the Silverstone Half Marathon for Cancer Research UK. I completed it in 2 hours, 29 minutes and 44 seconds, 15 seconds under my target time! I’m not going to lie, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life, and required so much effort. My legs still hurt and it’s now Thursday!
There were times when I thought that I’d never complete it, but knowing that people with cancer would benefit from the money I was raising spurred me on. What was 2 and a half hours of pain compared to that? It was a huge effort to even walk on Monday but I’m up and about now and feeling fine!
If anyone would like to donate to my JustGiving page, the link is this: http://www.justgiving.com/Natalie-Castka or you can text the code NATC85 followed by the amount you wish to donate to 70070. Thank you!



(That's my brother Rob by the way, he ran faster than me!)

Right, back to job hunting!

Nxxx

Facebook: Natalie Castka Actor
Twitter: @nataliecastka