Rehearsals.
So, last week saw me heading back to glorious Bedford for the start of rehearsals for 'Much Ado About Nothing'. I was beyond excited. It felt like I hadn't done any acting for years and I couldn't wait to get back in the saddle and act my socks off.
But there was also an underlying terror luring inside me. I was really struggling with my character. Despite being classed as one of the main four characters, she barely speaks, and spends most of her time mooning over a bloke and doing what daddy tells her to. I was finding it difficult to get my head around her, but I hoped everything would be ok.
I arrived bright and early and found one fellow cast member outside, we made our way to the rehearsal space and began chatting before I heard the doorbell ring, and rushed out to let the next one in. It was Jacob, who is playing Claudio, my characters love interest. The first thing I thought was 'Oh my, you're very tall!' He's practically a giant!
As more people filtered in, myself and Jacob began doing some bonding exercises to get to know each other better so that our onstage relationship wouldn't look awkward. We did a few exercises and got chatting and he was lovely! He was ridiculously easy to get on with, one of those people that you instantly take a liking to. Huzzah!
The fear of God was put into me later on when the word 'improvisation' was thrown my way. Despite our characters falling in love etc, they only have about ten lines to each other throughout the whole play! This called for improvisation, at which point I freaked out. I really don't know what was wrong with me, I do improvisations all the time in murder mysteries but somehow I felt that I was out of my depth and I started to really panic.
Thankfully we got it out of the way quite quickly, and more people arrived in the afternoon for the first cast read-through of the script. It was so nice to be together to get an idea of how the play would sound and my nerves disappeared for an hour at least.
After the read-through we started work on my wedding scene. Of course, with Shakespeare, things don't go to plan for the good guys, and this wedding is no exception. The work we did on it was fabulous. People were shouting in my face, and the way people ended up standing around me really made me feel terrified!
At one point, Jacob had his face pressed right against mine, and had so much venom in the way he was speaking to me that I really thought he was either going to kill me or rip all of my clothes off! And I loved it! Haha! I needed to have a sit down afterwards!
He is ridiculously talented. He's just graduated from drama school and seems so fearless. I remember being like that when I graduated, and got the first four jobs that I auditioned for. I felt invincible. Now, I feel like I've been battered down by the cruelty of the acting world and I'm fighting to be seen. Ugh.
Day two brought with it so much laughter. I was called for the whole day, but as a virtual mute, I only had one line to say! I spent a lot of time doing silent acting, and giggling at the back of the room with Jacob. I can see him getting me into touble for us both messing about too much! Oh well! Haha!
We're not rehearsing the play in order, so there's a lot of jumping about in the story as we rehearse, and I got to watch a few scenes being worked on which I absolutely love. There's something magical about watching other people rehearse and watching a scene evolve from a read-through into a fully fleshed out scene. You can actually see people changing. No matter how you picture something in your head, people constantly surprise you, and things never end up how you imagine, it's amazing!
I watched a few scenes and sat watching in awe as things progressed. I wondered if I'd be able to direct people in the future, as I loved every second of watching, but I don't think I have the brain ability to think of things myself! When I was watching, I hoped that other people thought the same things as I did while they were watching me attempt scenes, but I found it difficult to believe. I still didn't know where my nagativity was coming from, but it was starting to annoy me.
Friday rolled around, and we got out in the sunshine to rehearse! I knew I had a few scenes to rehearse that day, and on the drive in, I was getting increasingly nervous. My nerves got so bad that I started to cry! Ridiculous I know! I couldn't stop once I'd got going!
I keep trying to pin down what it is that's making me so nervous. At the moment I'm blaming it on my character. I normally get cast as the funny one, and can hide behind an obscure accent or a funny walk, but this time I have to be a normal sensible girl, with no gimmicks. I think it's thrown me. I don't know how to do normal!!
I wasn't particularly happy with how I did in rehearsals on Friday, but it's fine, we still have a few weeks to sort my head out and get to work properly. I was quite chuffed that a throwaway idea that I had to amuse myself developed into the idea for a whole scene, so I should be pleased. I just need to get rid of my niggles!
I had the weekend away from the play, mainly working my normal person job, but it was also my birthday, so I had time to forget about it, and I'm not in rehearsal now until Thursday. I'm going to spend the day tomorrow going over the twenty pages of character notes that I made, and hopefully by the time I get back into the rehearsal space, I'll have sorted my head out.
Everyone else is so good already, and I don't want to be the weak link in the play, especially when I got such good feedback from people last year. I can't let standards slip. But most of all I don't want to let everyone else down. Plays are a team effort, and if someone doesn't do their part, everything falls apart for everyone, nt just me.
Saying all of that, it is going to be fantastic show, and you should all buy tickets!! :) www.nolossproductions.co.uk is the link that you need, do the right thing!!
Nxxx
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