Starting again...

It’s a very strange feeling you get once a production is over. Whenever I finish an acting job, I’m always heartbroken that I’ll never perform the show again, and that the people that I’ve worked so closely with I might never see again. It’s the way of the industry. Thankfully, I have come out of several jobs and kept in contact with a few people, and that has been brilliant. But some people have faded into the distance and have become memories of touring past. Some good, some not so good.

The past 15 months have been quite different. Alongside my own acting career, I’ve been teaching. I will admit that my teaching style mainly consists of shouting at my students until they do things my way, but hey, I get what I want!

Just over a week ago, 70-something of my students pulled off an amazing feat and I could not have been prouder. Both of our Neverland productions, ‘Peter Pan’ and ‘Second Star To The Right’ were performed on the same day. Well, days, we did two! And I’m not sure how I feel about them being over right now. (Wait, here come the waterworks!)
I could go on and on for pages about how proud I am of the students, their amazing performances, the incredible feedback that I received, but I’ve already put all of that on my various social media pages. It’s taken until now to realise what an achievement it was for me personally. I didn’t really start work properly on the productions until January of this year. That gave me five months to write, audition, cast, source/make costumes, props and set, and generally organise a hell of a lot with many students relying on me to make sure everything came together to create shows that their parents could be proud of them in.

You’ve probably read in previous posts about how alongside the shows, I was also working various normal person jobs and acting jobs too. It’s fair to say that I didn’t think I had put enough effort into the productions at all and I was incredibly nervous. For the second part of last year it seemed that every spare second I had was put into my production of ‘Oliver Twist’, and compared to that, I felt that I had done no work at all. Then the week of the shows, I had a mother of one of the children I teach elsewhere saying not very nice things at all about another production I had put on. I was devastated and completely knocked sideways.

Somehow I managed to pick myself up and finish everything for the shows and successfully hand things over to my truly amazing backstage team. Things could not have gone any smoother.
I sat in the audience for all four performances and watched with such pride as my students gave flawless performances, and clearly enjoyed every single second of being on that stage. The audience reactions throughout were sublime, and the students clearly picked up it and raised their game even more. It was such a delight to watch, and the feedback truly was phenomenal. To hear people say that it was the best one yet by far was incredible considering how I felt about them, I was stunned.
And now they’re over. In a weird way I feel like I still have more work to do on them, one more month and I know I could tweak certain things and make them even more perfect, but I could say that after another month, and maybe another.

Yesterday I started to write the script for our next production, but I feel like I’m betraying Neverland already!
It was such a special few months, I wrote the ‘Peter Pan’ script alone, with a little bit of help from J M Barrie and Disney(!), but I got to write a new original play with one of my best friends, we made every decision regarding the production, and people really enjoyed it. That’s something that I never imagined would ever be possible. I had a crazy idea about 8 months ago to create a Peter Pan sequel, and for us to write it because I wanted to challenge us as well as challenging the students. And my goodness were we challenged. But we pulled it off, the students enjoyed performing it, the audience loved watching it, it still made me laugh every single time, I could not have been prouder.
And now here I am starting all over again. This year has flown by already, as I feared it would, I’m just going to have to make the most of every second and get this next script bashed out pretty quickly or it will be show day before I know it.

Once more I’m sat at my writing table (and in my new directors chair that I got for my birthday- thanks mum!) and I’m already enjoying creating something new for the amazing students that I teach.

Since the productions I’ve had a pretty good few days, including my 30th birthday, eep! As someone said to me, it’s only a number, and I’m only one day older than I was the day before, and it’s really not that bad. Plus the birthday celebrations so far have been brilliant!

I guess I’m feeling reflective tonight as the realisation has hit me that one of my best friends is moving away pretty soon and I am completely devastated. Of course it’s completely unfair of me to be selfish, but I really don’t want them to go. They are such a huge part of my life, and I have become so close to them that to know that they won’t be just across town for much longer breaks my heart. I know that they aren’t going to be that far away in the grand scheme of the whole world, but I feel like a part of me will be going too. I love them with all of my heart, and I hope they know it.

I know that it will be such a good thing for them, they are going to pursue their dreams and I have no doubt that they will succeed, and I’m so unbelievably proud of them and everything that they do. They inspire me so much, and I genuinely don’t know what I will do without them. I hope I get to hold onto them and see them as much as possible before they go because I really don’t want us to drift apart before they officially go.

If they’re reading this, they know exactly who they are. Just don’t forget me, okay? Whoever gets Oscar/Bafta/Brit Award nominated first, we’ll be each other’s red carpet date, right?
Their imminent departure means that I may have to start again in certain aspects in my life. I know deep down that I can do it, but it really won’t be the same without them.

But despite all of my tears over endings and departures, someone not-so-new has made a big difference in my life lately and has made an impact that I never thought they would. Ever. Which goes to show that people can surprise you. And through all of the tears, stress and sadness that I’ve gone through over the last few months, someone out there has put the smile back on my face. Who knows what will happen, I’m just taking it one day at a time, but maybe things might be changing for the good…

Nxxx