Auditions, auditions, auditions…

Life’s a funny old thing isn’t it? It never goes the way you planned. I never intended to become an actor, and now I can’t imagine doing anything else. There once was a time when I wanted to become Miss Castka, Geography teacher. It turned out I was rubbish at geography...

Last week was also a funny one. I began the week as usual, going off to a few cleaning jobs, and reciting monologues in my head while I had my hand down some old dear’s toilet. While all this was happening, my BlackBerry was almost constantly vibrating in my pocket with a steady stream of emails offering me auditions. I couldn’t contain my excitement! After the previous week’s disappointment over the cancelled play, I had gone into actor overdrive, applying for everything, and now suddenly everyone was after a piece of me!

And so on Wednesday, I made my way to London for audition number one of the week. This was for a naughty adult pantomime and sounded extremely fun. My audition was at 10.10am so I had to get the 8.16am train from Kettering, ugh. My mum dropped me off at the train station at the ungodly hour of 8, and I purchased my ticket and hopped on the train with all of the London commuters. I hadn’t thought about ticket prices before I went and was horrified that despite having a young persons railcard which gets me a third off my fare, my ticket was still over £60. I thought this audition better be worth it!! As I was so sleep deprived I caught a few winks on the train and woke up just as we were pulling into St Pancras. I gathered up all my bits, hopped on the tube and found the location. As usual I appeared to be the first person there, not even any people who were on the panel were there! I stood around for a bit until someone arrived and we were let in. The audition itself went better than I thought. I was insanely tired, and a few friends from home had been ill and had passed their colds onto me so I wasn’t feeling great. My monologue went quite well, I was stopped and asked to do something slightly different with it, which I did. And surprisingly my song was quite good considering I was in there so early. I hoped as the first person in that I had set a good standard for the day!

I had decided the day before the audition that I would try and make a day of it in London and now I was glad of my decision, after spending that much on a ticket! I bought myself a ticket to see the matinee showing of Blood Brothers at the Phoenix Theatre. I felt that it was shocking that I had got to the tender age of 26 without seeing it so off I went. However, I had four and a half hours to kill before the show started, so I took in some culture at the National Gallery, and walked along the many streets of London playing the ‘How many theatres can Natalie spot along her way’ game. (See photos for evidence!) I also had a little visit to M&M world, but managed to resist sticking my head under the many hip-height to ceiling tubes of chocolatey delights! And then came the show. As with any musical I see, I cried as soon as it starts, wishing that it was me on the stage, but I was absolutely sobbing on the large Australian lady next to me by the end. No-one had told me quite how traumatic it was going to be! But it was fantastic, and I found myself a new goal, to play the part of Linda! I think I’d be good as her!

The next day was Thursday, and I had not one audition, but two! The first one took me to Bedford, at The Place Theatre. This was for George’s Marvellous Medicine. I applied for this job after receiving an email saying “There is a job that matched your skillset” OK I thought, I’ll read on... “Mrs Kranky” Thanks! But off I went, and yet again I was the first to arrive before anyone else. The front door to The Place is shared by an organisation that helps Polish people settle in the country so after a brief encounter with a Polish woman who was trying to communicate with me, I got in the door and waited. After a few minutes the lady in charge, Cally, arrived. I spent a few minutes chatting to her about the play and what I had done before, and she was talking to me as if she’d given me the job already before I’d even done any acting for her! But I took that as a good sign! As the rest of the auditionees arrived, it became clear that I was the only female that was going to show up. Surely I had this one in the bag! When everyone had arrived, we were taken upstairs and did a couple of drama games before acting out some of the script. Everyone was lovely and very talented and it went really well. We were then given a cuddly toy and had to manipulate it like it was a puppet, as the show was going to involve puppetry. That was fine too. Although I got the feeling that Cally had assumed from my CV that I was a master at puppeteering! Don’t get me wrong, I’ve done shows with puppets before but I’m not amazing at it... Oh well! I’d cross that bridge if it came to it.

 

I walked back into Bedford with one of the other auditionees, Ivan. We chatted about our experiences of working in Theatre-In-Education and then went our separate ways. He was lovely! I didn’t fancy spending much money, and I was hungry, so I went into Wetherspoons and had a steak before I had to catch my train to London for audition number two.

This was to be at the London Film School. I had never been there before and had no idea where it was. I hopped off the tube and clutching my notebook with directions in it, was at the location in under a minute. I was an hour early. Typical. Walking down the street to the film school I found Pineapple Dance Studios, and thought for a split second about going in to see if Louis Spence was in there so I could slap him round the face, the annoying prick! I thought better of it, I was here to try and get work after all.

The time was nearly upon me to go in so I rang the doorbell and found the room where I was supposed to go. I sat down at a table with a girl who was also auditioning, and had a nice chat with her before it was time to audition. The film they were casting for was called ’Emily and Mark’ and in the email offering the audition they said we would be improvising with other actors. We had all assumed that would mean improvising with boys, but we were wrong, we were just a bunch of girls auditioning as friends. Improvisation is not my strong point so I was pretty terrified, and the man directing the film was an acting teacher from New York. I didn’t want him thinking that I was an absolute failure of an actor because I can’t improvise! But I did it (twice!) and we were out of the room in less than half an hour, and I made it back to Kettering in time to fit in half an hour of tap rehearsal! Now that’s dedication. Overall I thought I’d had a good day, but only time would tell what would happen...

 

And that time would be Friday! I was back to cleaning when I received an email from the man in charge of Wednesday’s panto audition... I was offered a recall! I was so excited yet again! I jumped around the house like a mad woman trying not to scream as the occupant of the house was there! I had never been called back before so this was huge! I had been feeling really tired until I got the email, but I was certainly perky now! And then about 90 minutes later, when I was in a different house, my phone rang... and I was offered the part of Mrs Kranky in George’s Marvellous Medicine! I liked Friday! Friday was good!

And now we are on this week... at the time of writing, I have been to my London recall today, I have an audition very close to home on Friday, and one in Birmingham on Saturday. Three very different productions... Let’s see what happens!

Nxxx

The good, the bad and the downright embarrassing...

Last week was a funny one. It got off to a bad start. Last weekend I was feeling miserable, so as any girl knows, a change in the hair department can work wonders, so I grabbed a bottle of dye and became a redhead again. I like it! Along came Monday. I had an average day of cleaning people’s houses, then I had a couple of dance classes in the evening, starting with pointe class. Just before the lesson started I received a text message asking me to check my emails. I did, and sadly the email in question informed me that they play I was due to be in next month has been cancelled. I didn’t think much of it during my lesson but in the hour that I had to spare afterwards it hit me that I had turned down a very well paid job in order to be in this play, had missed out on auditioning for lots of other jobs that would have clashed with the dates of the play, and that I had no job on the horizon and no-one would be getting Christmas presents this year. I was absolutely gutted. I went home and cried. I found myself wondering if this was the end of my acting career? Did I really want to carry on down a route where I wasn’t guaranteed any work at all? I wore myself out crying and went to bed, surely things would seem better in the morning? But then I woke up and realised that it was Tuesday. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very grateful of the work that I have in my cleaning job, but Tuesdays just take it out of me! I start working at 10.30 and finish at 5.30. That’s a lot of cleaning! I slumped down the stairs and made my breakfast ready to face the day, got dressed and left the house to start work. And then I got an email. Offering me an audition for Friday! Yessss! Things were looking better already! I spent the day while working deciding on what song I was going to sing at the audition. Huzzah! The rest of the day went quite quickly, I bought a new outfit for the audition and got some good bargains in town! Things were looking peachy! After a good dance class in the evening I was definitely ready for bed, Tuesday had been long but great! Wednesday. Ah, sweet Wednesday! I told you how much Tuesdays take it out of me... I didn’t wake up until 10.50am! It was amazing! And not only had I had the mother of all sleeps, I woke up to another email offering another audition!! This was getting brilliant! I only had 2 hours of work that day too so I was chuffed! I went shopping again and got some last-minute costume bits for the Starlight show... all successful, this week was just getting better and better! I did feel a bit sombre in the evening though... I raced around to Jacc’s house as we watched the Steps reunion documentary. As huge Steps fans we were so excited about the reunion but I was almost in tears when they spoke of how much they disliked each other and all of the secrets that came out of the woodwork! Shocked! But still, we kept the faith as we know that there’s a new album and single coming out, and fingers crossed they will tour again- I’m so there!! Thursday brought with it a couple of cleaning jobs which went quite quickly, and I spent a lovely afternoon with Natasha in Corby shopping in Primark!! My mood was getting better by the day so I had no problem spending cash that probably should stay in my account! Oops! I got some proper bargains, and we had a good giggle trying on all-in-one support underwear that we thought we could wear in the show but we ended up looking like overgrown babies in hideous flesh coloured leotards! Not a good look. But the highlight of the day had to be when we arrived at the first job of the day. I was just picking out some cleaning products from the box when the familiar ‘ping’ of my BlackBerry told me that I had an email. I read it, and would you believe it... Keith Chegwin was now following me on Twitter! :D I was so excited! But when I told people later that night, nobody seemed to know who he was. Bubble burst. And then came Friday. Audition day! Florence had been helping me the previous night with my song (Abba’s ‘Money Money Money’) and I had accidentally left my phone in the Starlight studio (turned out it was inside the piano!) so I had to make a trip back there to retrieve it, as well as my bi-weekly trip to the job centre. Appointments done, phone collected and song rehearsed, I popped myself on the train and off I went to London town in my new outfit. I found the audition location 90 minutes early so had a little wander around the town before settling down in a shady spot on the street to eat a sandwich whilst trying to battle my nerves. I was terrified, this was potentially my last shot at getting a pantomime this year, I couldn’t screw this one up! Yet again it was for Cinderella(!), surely I knew what was expected of me this time. I walked into the building and was shown where to go to wait, walked around and found myself face to face with one of the girls who had made it into the top 5 of Kettering’s ‘Search for Cinders’ competition. Brilliant. I tried to ignore the fact that she had got further than me, and focus on the fact that she didn’t get it either (haha!) and this was a new job and mine for the taking!! A couple of girls went in before me, and then it was my time! I followed the lady down the corridor to the audition room, pushed open the door, it swung open... and the door handle came off in my hand! :/ Time seemed to stand still for a while before I uttered the famous words “I think I’ve broken your door”. Thankfully everyone in the room laughed and said what a fantastic entrance it was! I relaxed after that, it couldn’t get worse! My song went well and then it was time to read some script. I read opposite a man who was playing Buttons. It was only one side of A4 long, very easy text, and at the very end it clearly stated ‘she kisses him’. Which I did. At which point he got very flustered and didn’t quite know what to do! It was all a very bizarre experience! But I came out positive of at least one thing... that I’d be remembered for at least one thing... even if it’s only the door! I wonder if they got out..... Nxx

Four auditions, one answer…

I made what I thought was a pretty brave decision about two months ago. I was offered a tour with my last Theatre-In-Education company for 3 months doing a play that I have already done. I turned it down. “So what?” you might be thinking. Well, it seems like a big deal now. I haven’t had any acting work over the summer apart from one night’s murder mystery, and don’t have much planned for the future. Turning the job down meant turning down a lot of money, and I know it’s only September, but it’s heading towards the time of year when I spend a lot. December brings Christmas, and New Years Eve (which also happens to be a friend’s birthday), and January’s money spenders include my mum, dad and brothers birthdays, along with car insurance and breakdown cover. I also made the decision to try and break free of the vicious TIE circle, so the decision was made and here I am back home living with my parents and signing on. But at least I’m not living out of a suitcase!

And now that I’m not on tour, it’s audition season! Yay! Over the past few weeks I have been to four different auditions for panto, oh yes I have! And every single one of them has been a different experience, as this blog will now explain...

Audition #1: Peter Pan, London. I wasn’t looking forward to this audition. Well, I was, but this was the week of the London riots. I hadn’t been paying much attention to the exact locations of the rioting but I was extremely nervous about going to our fair capital. I had been told to prepare a song and that was it. That sounded easy enough. My audition wasn’t until 4.10pm so I had plenty of time to get there in the day, and possibly find an alternative route to the audition location if the city was being overrun by looters. I boarded the 2pm train from Kettering which would get me into London by 3, with plenty of time to find my destination. I didn’t have to change trains during the journey so I found myself a nice window seat, put in my iPod, playing my chosen audition song on repeat, and promptly fell asleep. I woke up just as the train was pulling into St Pancras and prayed that I hadn’t been snoring or dribbling like a baby during the journey!

I found the underground route easily and before I knew it I had arrived at the location; the American Church on Tottenham Court Rd. I wasn’t quite sure where I was supposed to go when I arrived, but as it was only 3.20 when I got there, I stood around waiting to see if anyone else would arrive so I could follow them in while trying not to look like a weird stalker. It took a while for someone else to turn up so I spent a few minutes in a quiet corner practising my song, much to the amusement of a few pedestrians! Finally I saw another girl looking slightly lost and bewildered so I followed her around the back of the church and after a brief chat on the intercom, we were in! We walked up a couple of flights of grubby stairs following some hand-written signs, and joined the queue of people waiting in a dingy corridor outside the audition room. We were given a form to fill in, and some scripts to read over, which we would be reading in the audition. The panto was Peter Pan. When I applied, the only role they were looking for was Peter, but I had to be prepared to read for Peter, Wendy and Smee, with no idea what they would ask for once I got in the room.

Of course, as usual, the auditions were running late, and I wouldn’t end up getting into my audition until 4.30pm. M nerves were holding up pretty well considering I could hear every single word that each person was singing/saying in their auditions as the door wouldn’t shut properly, and the building must have been the most echo-ey in the whole of London. I sat talking to the girl next to me for a while until we ran out of things to say so we both just read our scripts along with whoever was speaking the words inside, seeing if we could pinch ideas for how to perform the scripts! About ten minutes before I went in, a boy arrived. When I arrived there were about 8 other girls there, some left, more arrived but no boys. And when he did finally turn up, he looked absolutely terrified. I wanted to ask him if he was alright but I didn’t dare in case he threw up on my shoes! After a few minutes he managed to get some words out and asked us if we had auditioned before. My new friend and myself said no, we hadn’t auditioned for this company before, but it turned out we had misunderstood his question. He wanted to know if we had done ANY auditions before. He hadn’t had any training, he just thought he’d try his luck at this audition, hence his green appearance. I heard his audition through the half-open door and to be fair to him, he was quite alright! He didn’t sound like he crumbled at any point. I hope he did well, he looked a much better colour when he came out!

The girl who I had been talking to was a couple of people in front of me, so while she went in I took advantage of the time I had and went to use the bathroom. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m not very good with doors. I spent a few seconds struggling with the door to the cubicle until I realised that someone was inside the cubicle, and that someone was one of the audition panel. Fail. Thankfully she wasn’t in the room for my audition or I would have cried!

And then it was time! I’d spent over an hour on trains and tubes, an hour and 10 minutes waiting for my turn and now was my moment to shine. I was in! While getting my head together when I’d got in the room I managed to completely ignore the man on the panel when he asked me what song I was going to sing, and stood there looking into space like a moron! Not the best start. But I sang a verse of ‘What I Did For Love’ from ‘A Chorus Line’, and it went quit well! Then it was time to read the script. I ended up reading the part of Peter, in a scene with Wendy. For some bizarre reason that wasn’t explained, Peter had to adopt a Fatboy from EastEnders persona half way through the scene and I stood wondering what on Earth I was doing in front of an audition panel screeching out the words ‘Alright baby girl?’ to a man playing Wendy Darling! The man playing Wendy began to laugh uncontrollably... Again. He had been auditioning people all day long, and for the past hour I had heard him laugh at that line over and over again. Surely it wasn’t that funny! I only managed to get half way through the page when they said that was enough and I was booted out of the room. I had been in there for less than five minutes. I was quite annoyed. I know they had to get through a lot of people, and auditions aren’t usually that long, but I really felt like an animal, being shepherded in, made to dance for them and then shoved back out onto the streets again. I dragged my hooves back down the stairs and out onto the streets where I came face to face with the woman whose privacy I had tried to invade in the toilets. Brilliant. I was suddenly quite looking forward to the train home!

Audition #2: Aladdin/The Nutcracker, Northampton. I had received an email about this audition without even applying, which was nice! I thought I recognised the name of the company and on checking my emails, it appeared that they had been emailing me for the past 3 years but I never responded as I already had work over the panto period. But this year I finally responded and I was auditioning! Being local, I hopped in the car and drove over, arriving an hour early. I was told that the audition would be in a youth club on an industrial estate which sounded ominous, but obviously they were right and I arrived at the right place. As I was an hour early, I was the first person there, and it seemed I was the only person around for miles. I took that as a perfect opportunity to practice my song in the car. Today I had chosen ‘Unexpected Song’. I sounded quite good in practice! Of course I wasn’t nervous then!

As time ticked by, I realised that I really needed the toilet, but no-one was arriving and I was beginning to wonder if I was actually in the right place. I saw a couple of other cars turn up and watched as people tried to open the door to the youth centre in vain before returning to their vehicles. With the audition due to start at 2pm, the company bosses finally arrived at 1.55pm, just as I was about to burst! By now it had begun to rain so we all made a run for it inside ready to see what lied in store for us. There were only 8 of us auditioning that day, so I was wondering what would be expected of me- the email said to be prepared to stay for up to 3 hours!

It turned out we would be doing some drama workshops, woo! We did some half-hearted warm ups, including walking around the room as different panto characters before we were split into 2 groups and told to come up with a couple of scenes from Cinderella. We all had to play more than one character, had ten minutes to rehearse, and then present it to the group. I was clearly in the weaker group(!) but we got on with it, and made everyone laugh. I’m not sure whether it was because we were funny or just too appalling to watch! I played Buttons, a stepsister, and a palace guard who chased after Cinderella as she lost her shoe. I also played a clock, I kid you not! But I was the best damned clock they’d ever see! After watching the other group perform their pretty spectacular full-story of Cinderella, it was time for individual auditions. We were shoved in a back room to wait, but could still hear pretty much everything that was going on. I was fourth down the list, and thankfully the other auditionees were so lovely I got chatting and forgot what I was even there for. It wasn’t until I walked through the audition room door that I got nervous. But they were lovely people, my song went well. My monologue could have gone slightly better, but I chatted them round into thinking I was an amazing actress to have on board, and we all finished smiling and happy! Audition 2, done!

Audition #3, Cinderella, Kettering. This was the big one. The one I had been preparing for for a whole month. I was so ridiculously excited it was unbelievable. Imagine it, I could be playing Cinderella in my home town at the Lighthouse Theatre. It was my time! The casting breakdown stated that they were looking for a female between the ages of 16-28, no taller than 5 foot 7, and from the Kettering area. I fit every single one of those criteria. Surely the job was mine? I had to prepare 2 songs for this one, a pop song, and a song suitable for a princess. I had thought long and hard about my choices and had come up with some crackers! My pop song was ‘Say You’ll Be Mine’ by the glorious Steps! My reason being, panto makes you happy so I needed a song that makes me happy. Clearly I was going down the S Club/Steps route! My princess song was ‘Home’ from Beauty and the Beast Broadway. I thought a lot of people would be doing the Disney film songs so of course I had to go Broadway! I downloaded my backing tracks, rehearsed daily. I was ready!

In the end, it became an open audition, so I was expecting hundreds of chavvy girls from Kettering turning up expecting to be the next big thing. I wasn’t having that! The audition started at 12 noon, so naturally I arrived at 10am. Vocal warm-ups in the car, song practice, the lot. As I parked my car I noticed something very strange... I wasn’t the first person there! I couldn’t believe it! It was 10am! What was someone doing there 2 hours early?!? I watched her from a safe distance. At around 10.30, more people started arriving! There was now a small crowd of 5 girls, all waiting outside the locked door. Was there something I didn’t know? I wasn’t having that! I got straight out of the car and marched over to the theatre door. I would not be at the back of the queue! It turned out that the first girl was in a play that day so she had asked to audition early so she could speed back down to Reading to perform in the afternoon. The rest of them were just early. Hmmm. We were let in at around 11am and had to sit and wait in the bar area.

There was an hour to kill, and after we had all exhausted every possible “look at me, I’m amazing” conversation that all actors seem to have, everyone’s iPods came out, vocal exercises were performed, and tuneful hums bounced off the walls. I got bored and spotted a guy I know that works at the theatre. I walked over to talk to him, had been there about 30 seconds when I heard a stampede behind me. I turned around to find that registration had opened, and I was at the back of the queue. Brilliant. I grabbed my application form, joined the queue and got my audition number. And then it began. One by one, the girls that I sat with went in, being the first ones in the queue. I sat and smiled and congratulated them as they all came out having received a ‘yes’ to got through to the next round. Thankfully I got distracted as the local paper, the Evening Telegraph’ turned up. I was hoping to get a little interview taken but instead I was just part of the group photo.

The hours rolled by, and still I was getting nowhere further up the list. All of the girls I had spoken to had left, but thankfully I found a friend who I had performed with a few years ago and I sat with her while we waited. Finally, at 3pm, it was my turn! My enthusiasm for the audition had dwindled, having been sat there for 5 hours. I now had a pounding headache and my hair had gone frizzy. I felt like I looked like a tramp- everyone else was dressed up in pretty dresses with 6-inch high heels on and inch-thick make-up on their faces and then there was me... Although, to be fair, I had put thought into my outfit. Starting at the bottom, I had black dolly shoes on, as every Disney princess wears. I had long blue short on that looked like a skirt when I stood up, very much like Cinderella’s skirt, and I was also sporting a blue top with horses printed on it- Cinderella’s carriage gets pulled by a horse. See, thought! Unfortunately my shorts had become creased beyond belief and I just didn’t care what I looked like! It didn’t help matters that the girl who went in just before me was the most amazing singer! It was a good job I didn’t sing ‘Unexpected Song’ again because I would have sounded like a slug compared to her version! She clearly got a ‘yes’.

And then I walked in. I was asked a few questions about work I had done, I was bigged up to the producer as I was a member of Starlight, he was told about out national win and how amazing we are. I then told them my song choices and they chose my princess song. It went well, I hit all the notes, I acted it out amazingly(!) and that was that. After a few more probing questions it was decision time. Would I still be going to the ball? Was I going to Cinderella boot camp? Maybe. I got a maybe! It had gone so well, and all I got was a maybe. Still, at least it wasn’t a no! I’d have to wait and see...

Audition #4, Cinderella, Barnsley. This was the last one. My final shot at getting a panto this year. I hadn’t seen any more auditions popping up for them, could this be the one? Thankfully I was successful enough to get an audition, so I was happy. I was less chuffed at what they sent me though. I was sent pages of the script to read and also an mp3 of the song they wanted everyone to sing. It was ‘When You Believe’ from the Prince of Egypt, also made famous by some X-Factor winner, I can’t remember which one. Needless to say, it was out of my comfortable vocal range and I struggled hitting the top notes. It looked like I was heading for disaster. I rehearsed as much as I could, and then the day arrived. It was to be a 2 hour 15 minute journey on the train, changing twice, followed by a short bus journey. I had to be on the ball, I didn’t want a repeat of Wolverhampton... we all know how that went! I didn’t have to get the train until 12.30 which was nice, I pottered about the house in the morning, trying to prepare for any eventuality. I was surprisingly calm on the journey up, my changes ran smoothly, yet again I had my iPod playing the audition song on repeat. It didn’t last long though, it’s a terrible song, I couldn’t bear to listen to it for more than half an hour. When I arrived in Barnsley, I then had to find the appropriate bus. I had done my research and knew I had to get the 66, and from stand 2 of the travel interchange. However, when I arrived at stand 2, bus 66 didn’t depart from it! I raced to the information desk and thankfully received helpful information, and made my way to the right stand. I double checked with the driver that I was on the right bus and asked if he could tell me when to get off, which he agreed to do. So far so good. I sat as close to the driver as I could so that he wouldn’t forget about me! We had been driving for about 5 minutes when I noticed a girl in front of me talking to a couple of elderly ladies about an audition she was going to. She then spoke to the driver about where to get off. Yes! Someone else going my way! Two lost people is always better than one lost person! As soon as she made her move to get off the bus I followed her and immediately saw the theatre. Success!

We walked in, and it was tiny! Lovely, but tiny! We were greeted by two of the production staff who told us all about the company and what to expect if we were to be successful. It sounded perfect. And then it was time to go in! There were two men on the panel, both very lovely too. They asked me about myself (which I hate answering!), then it was time to sing. Despite the theatre holding only 170 people, I still had to sing into a microphone when I really didn’t need one! I took a deep breath and off I went. Note perfect, no squeaking or anything! I amazed myself! Then it was script time. They had sent me the scripts for Cinderella and the Fairy Godmother. They asked me to read the Fairy. Typical. I thought it was going well, but there was mobile phone interference with the microphone and both men immediately jumped on their phones and looked like they were both texting while I was doing my fabulous fairy speech. Rude! I then read another fairy scene with the boss playing Cinderella and that was it! Job done again. Another bus journey and 2 hours 15 minutes of trains home again.

So, that’s 4 auditions, almost 6 hours of train journeys, lots of pounds spent on travel, and have I got a job from any of them? Oh no I haven’t... yet. Only time will tell.

Nxxx

A beautiful night for a murder…

So the day after the worst audition in the world(!) I sat alone in my bedroom, watching the beautiful John Barrowman strutting his stuff in Torchwood, and drinking a nice bottle of Rose wine which I received back in May for my birthday! I know what you’re thinking, but I was too busy to drink it before!!

I was feeling slightly tipsy but had that quiet confidence that people seem to get after drinking, and I thought it would be a good idea to look for some acting jobs. I logged in to my casting website of choice and scrolled through all the rubbish until I found something of interest. And I found this...

‘Professional actors [m/f] of the highest calibre are required for an inter-active murder mystery event on Saturday 30th July 2011 in the Northamptonshire area. Actors must be:
-aged 25-45
-must be able to demonstrate skills and experience in Murder Mystery events
-have own transport
-reside in any of the following areas: Northampton, Oxfordshire, Buckinghamshire, Bedfordshire, Cambridgeshire, Leicestershire, Coventry.’

Well, the job was clearly for me! I’m a professional actor, I was free on that day, I live in Northamptonshire, have been in a few murder mysteries and have my own car! Sorted! At approximately 11pm, off went my application.

I awoke the next morning bright and breezy, and not long after my wake up alarm had gone off, I received an email. It thanked me for my application, could I please fill in the attached application form for the company and return it ASAP, casting will be done tonight. Fair enough, application form filled in and sent off. About an hour later another email arrived. Thank you for your application, here is your contract. Please fill it in and return it before 6pm tonight. Further details will be sent to you via email next week. Now, I know that things move fast in the acting world but that was ridiculous! There was no audition (which I was immensely grateful for!), the money was good and it was local, what more could I want?

Over the next few days I received several emails, each one revealing a bit more of what the evening would entail but it still seemed like a bit of a mystery, and I wasn’t even trying to work out whodunit!

Saturday rolled around, and I realised that I hadn’t properly looked at the script that I’d been sent! I’d been to see Adam in one of his plays again on the Friday and had stayed over in Travelodge Nuneaton(!) with him, so drove my car home as fast as I dared in its tired state, and spent the afternoon going over the information I had been sent. I did try my best to learn most of the lines but as with any murder mystery, there’s a lot of improvisation so I didn’t think it would matter too much.

The title of the evening was called ‘Murder at the Moulin Rouge’. I would be playing a character called Mossy Cleft. Yes, it was going to be one of those evenings! I read through all of the information I was given to do with my character’s background, skimmed over the lines a few more times and made my way to the venue. Naturally I got lost trying to find it, until I looked at the building straight in front of my nose and realised I’d been circling it for ten minutes.

I arrived first, early as always , so I sat in the car park and looked over the plan for the evening again whilst watching out for the man in charge. I had no idea what he looked like but when I saw a man entering the hotel on his own, I took a chance and followed him in. It was him. Again, he was nothing like what I was expecting, perhaps I should stop judging people by their emails! We were shown to the room where we would be performing, and I think we were both disappointed with what we saw. It was just the most plain white room you’ve ever seen, with 4 round tables in it, each seating around 7 people. It really did look like they’d forgotten we were coming and had just shoved a few tables in there. The only ‘feature’ in the room was a white board on which someone (I’m presuming a manager) had written “Assume makes an ass of u and me”. I’m guessing it was meant to be a device to motivate their staff to ask questions to their guests but they all looked as if they’d rather be at home and that we were wasting their time.

While we were waiting for the receptionist to find us a room to get changed in, the next actor arrived. A lovely girl called Emma. She was playing the world’s only talking mime. Told you it was one of those nights! Just after she arrived, one of the managers came over to us and told us that the hotel was full and that we would be in an out-of-order room. She handed over 2 keys and showed us to room 101. And what a room it was. It was basically being used as a storage room. On top of the bed were several items of furniture, there were about 50 chairs stacked up in piles of 4 all over the room, and of course there was a fridge and a lawnmower. My car was looking like a more appropriate dressing room at that point. Just as we were settling in, the final actor arrived, Rachel. And she was bonkers! Imagine a drama teacher, multiply the eccentricity by about 100, and that’s who we got! She was so excited to be there, she was bouncing of the walls, asking about 20 questions a minute, mad! She plunged straight into moving things around so that we had space to get changed, throwing hairs left and right and climbing all over the furniture!

Tony had gone to his car while we were moving things to get the costumes from his car. He’d taken a key to get back in so we were surprised when he knocked the door. His key didn’t work- he took them back to reception. And then they told us... that they had shown us to the wrong room. We had to move all of the furniture back where we had found it and made our way down the corridor to room 104. Which was lovely! There wasn’t anything wrong with the room so the hotel had clearly lied to us when they said that the hotel was full. We made ourselves at home and put our costumes on ready for action.

The evening had been planned out so that the action would take place at certain intervals of the night between the guests meal courses, with our first scene being played just before the starters were served. And so we began. Tony went into the room, introduced the evening and brought each of us in as our characters to meet the crowd. I decided for some bizarre reason to be extremely flirty, and headed straight for the first man I laid my eyes on. His name was Alf. Alf was lovely! I asked him if he wanted to be part of the show at the Moulin Rouge but he was having none of it. I’d been given a whip as a decoy prop so I used it to amuse Alf, much to his delight and his wife’s amusement. After we were all introduced, we made our way back to the room and waited for Tony to return. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face (although he was the type of man who seems to be constantly happy- I don’t think he’s ever frowned in his life!), and said that it was a good start, but the guests food orders hadn’t even been taken yet! Our schedule was already thrown out of the window. We sat down to plan out which scenes we could change about so that we didn’t have to leave the guests waiting for too long.

The evening was going well, and then we arrived at the part of the evening that I was a little nervous about. The interrogations! We all went to a table each and the guests were able to question us for 3 minutes before we had to move to the next table. It turned out that I needn’t have worried too much. As the guests hadn’t seen much to deduce what was going on so far, their questions were quite easy to answer and it went by quite quickly. We were back in our room before I knew it. We were all in an excitable mood by this point as we told each other some of the bizarre questions we had received and the lies we had been telling to send the guests off in the wrong direction. It was working, I was the murderer but I had convinced everyone that it was Rachel’s character Vanessa. It seemed I was good at lying! A few more structured scenes passed and then it was on to round two of the interrogations.

The guests were getting quite suspicious of me by this point and were throwing increasingly difficult questions at me. The other characters had been making up wild stories about me and hadn’t told me so I was trying to deflect all the lies away to other people. And then I reached my third table...

In a previous scene, I had had a conversation with my half-sister Arsou about some accounts not adding up. I hadn’t seen the account sheet which was fine, but I didn’t know what was ahead. A man asked me if I’d ever been to the address on the accounts sheet. I didn’t know what the address was so I walked over to him to have a look and there it was. He asked me again, “Have you ever been to Barebutt Mansion?” Well that was it! Character meltdown. Absolute failure! I burst out laughing, so hard that tears were rolling down my face. I was at the table for 3 minutes but was laughing so much that I couldn’t answer any questions for about 2 and a half minutes. We made our way back to the room and I tried to compose myself before the big reveal- the murder itself!

We huddled outside the room and listened to the guests thoughts of who had committed the crime, and only two out of the four tables had guessed that it was me, and only the table that had made me laugh had guessed correctly how and why I had done it. Every detail, spot on. We then showed the murder scene before revealing the winners of the night. I loved the murder scene, everyone was in the scene so the guests were watching everything, and listening to the gasps and ‘ooh’s as I poured poison into a drink for the victim was priceless! I stormed out of the room after my final line “You’re fired!” with a menacing laugh a la Cruella De Ville. And it felt good! I love being the villain!

We all went back to the room and had a chat about how good an evening it had been, and then we were off. The evening had flown by, but it hadn’t finished there! I was off out! No rest for the talented! I drove home in a very jolly mood, with thoughts of murder floating around my head. But don’t worry, I wouldn’t dare do it for real! I’m too nice... and I’m scared of prison!

And that was that. Another job in the bag and another credit on the cv. Lovely!

I’ve got a panto audition tomorrow, oh yes I have! I wonder what stories I’ll have to tell after that...

 

Nxxx

The worst audition of 2011?

Auditions suck. Fact. Two weeks ago I had the worst one of the year. I still haven’t got over it. But let’s rewind to the day before. It was a Tuesday. Tuesday 20^th July 2011. I awoke fairly early as I had to return the company van to Crewe as the bosses were away in Blackpool for a jolly weekend on our final day. That didn’t bother me, it meant I didn’t have to haul my suitcase and other luggage across various train stations late on a Friday night.

The sun hit my face as my alarm went off and I grabbed my phone to turn off the hideous racket and saw the symbol that informs me that I have a new email. How exciting! It came through one of the casting websites that I am on, and those type of emails signify one of two things- either you have an audition, or it’s a ‘sorry, but you were rubbish’. But on this occasion it was the former! It was for a job I had applied for about a month before, my online profile/CV had been viewed by the company 4 times but I had heard nothing. Not even a sniff of an audition. Grrr. But it turned out that the actor playing the part that I had applied for had dropped out, one of the cast had suggested me, and was I still interested? Yes please! I emailed straight back to say I was, climbed in the van, and off I went to Crewe. That was a fairly pleasant journey; I listened to a Torchwood audio book and sang along to the cheesiest of Glee songs and thought about the happy times I would be having over the summer not being in a van!

Van delivered and I sat at Crewe train station for an hour waiting for the transport home again. My BlackBerry made the familiar ‘bong’ sound that meant another email had arrived. Success, I had an audition. Tomorrow. In Wolverhampton at 2pm. Two Shakespeare monologues required. Easy. I’d just done 2 Shakespeare plays on tour. The role I was going for I had played twice already, I knew it inside out. Surely this was in the bag!

And so came Wednesday. Despite my audition not being til 2pm, and the fact that it took an hour and a half to drive to Wolverhampton, I didn’t trust my car to get me there and so hopped back on a train. At 10.30am. The train would get me to Wolves at just before 1pm, giving me an hour to make the 10 minute drive (according to Google directions) to the venue. I’d planned my bus route, I just needed to find where to get off the bus. Simple.

My first train got me to Leicester on time, ready to change for the train to Birmingham New Street. I sat on the platform minding my own business when a very loud young woman was pacing up and down in front of me talking in an unidentifiable accent down her phone looking lost. She finally got the man next to me to understand her and she snapped her mobile shut and a quiet lull drifted over the platform once more. Our train arrived, on I hopped, and who should be sitting on the row behind me opposite? Loud lady! All I wanted was to go over my speeches in my head, prepare myself for any questions that might be thrown my way or that I might want to ask, but all I got was the weird accent bellowing all through the carriage. I couldn’t even swap seats because it would look too obvious due to the lack of passengers! The ticket inspector’s arrival came as a relief until he took one look at foreign loud lady, clearly fancying her and stopped to chat to her for about 15 minutes. Obviously for character observations I listened in, not that they were being quiet about it! It turned out she was going to Birmingham to present some sort of music video chart thingy for MTV and she was very late. I also discovered that I couldn’t place her accent because she was half Northern Irish and half Portuguese! After he had flirted shamelessly with her and ‘helped’ her, he was off and we were in Birmingham. I quickly exited the train to find the next platform I needed for Wolverhampton when a flash of blue streaked past me and the ticket inspector from our train had dashed to carry Irish/Portuguese lady’s suitcase up the stairs! It was only tiny! Creep! I boarded my final train and ended up opposite some boys with very loud music. It seemed I would not be going over my speeches in peace on this journey either. I finally saw familiar surroundings and realised I was in Wolverhampton. My body shuddered at the remembrance of the hideous times I had had here before. The tour that nearly made me go insane two years ago, and only a couple of months ago, the hideous Travelodge room that myself and Adam had to encounter one fateful night. I pushed the memories to one side and tried to focus on the excitement that might lie ahead!

I had received instructions of which bus to get, which would take me to Wightwick Manor, the location of the audition. I had done my research, and pulled up a map of Wolverhampton town centre on Google so that I could locate the appropriate bus stop. I had carefully written down instructions to get me there, followed them well, and before I knew it, I was at the bus stop with the bus just pulling in. Time: 1.05pm. Perfect.

As I stepped on the bus I double-checked with the bus driver that this was the bus I needed to get to Wightwick Manor, and that I needed to get off at the Mermaid pub. All correct. Unfortunately the bus drivers would be swapping over at the next stop but he assured me that he would tell the next driver where I was going and that he would inform me of where to get off the bus. So far, so good. Wolverhampton was redeeming itself! Maybe it realised how upset it had made me in the past and was trying to do better!

The bus went around the corner, and pulled into the next stop. There was no new driver waiting to hop on, so the current driver just got off the bus, shut the door and walked down the street! Interesting. A couple of minutes later, the new driver arrived and we set off. Of course I wasn’t going to just rely on the this new driver to tell me where to go, I was looking out of the window for myself too. The first driver had told me that that stop that I needed was the last stop of the route and that I couldn’t miss it. Well, we were driving along, I couldn’t see any sign of the Mermaid pub or Wightwick Manor, but the bus driver knew what he was doing, and was going to tell me!

Finally, after what seemed like forever, I saw something that I recognised, and realised too late that I was heading back towards Wolverhampton town centre! I grabbed my BlackBerry and after 11 months of having it, attempted to use the maps for the very first time. After a few manic minutes, I found my location and where I was supposed to be, and I was right, I was going the wrong way. The driver hadn’t said a word. I was sitting right behind him!!! He could see me in his mirror! I saw a bus stop just ahead, and thankfully there was a taxi rank opposite. I ran off the bus and over the road, narrowly missing the oncoming traffic, googled the postcode of the manor and told the driver to go! I explained my situation and he promised me that he would get me there on time. Time: 1.53. Time of audition; 2pm. Of course with me being in a rush, we were stuck behind every slow-moving vehicle and got trapped at every red traffic light on the way. Tears were rolling down my face at this time, I was highly emotional, late and I wasn’t sure how far I would actually get in the taxi due to the small amount of money that I had in my purse. I logged into my email account to try and find a phone number for the man who was to be auditioning me, but there wasn’t one on the emails! Typical! I knew someone in the cast who might have his number but I didn’t have a number for them! I turned to the only tool I could think of, Facebook. One swift message sent, and I was focussed on the road once more. Thankfully, I began to see signs for the manor and began to calm down. I grabbed handfuls of change from my purse and thrust them at the taxi driver. He was very sweet and offered to pick me up again after the audition but he had taken all of my money for the fare and I couldn’t afford that again! I ran up the ‘No Entry’ road to the house and found the hut where I was to meet the audition man. Time: 2.07pm. Arse.

I ran into the hut and breathlessly tried to ask who I was looking for, and was told that he was running over with the last auditionee. I was sent up to the house where someone would meet me and point me in the right direction. I don’t know who she was but I blurted out my story to her and she found me a nice table to sit on outside to compose myself while I waited. I think she thought I was mental! After a few minutes, I was greeted by the man and I was slightly shocked. I had been emailing someone called Tony, and had expected middle-aged, possibly greying man, but instead I got a very charming, young, handsome man! I stopped and stared at him for a moment, then realised what a fool I must look at, I probably had make-up down my face, my hair was definitely dishevelled, and my cheeks were bright red from running and stress! Not a good start.

We walked into the audition room and I tried to explain why I was in such a state. He was very understanding and lovely and my heart rate slowed down ever so slightly. I sat down, filled in some details on a form, and then it was speech time. Speech one went really well, I was confident, remembered everything, threw everything into it. Lovely. Then came speech two. I got about half way through and forgot my line. I started again and stopped in the same place. It was about this time that I started to wonder if I was in some sort of nightmare, but no, this was happening. I had both speeches written down in my notebook so had a quick look before having a third attempt. I stood up, took a deep breath in, and promptly one of my buttons fell off my shorts. We just both looked at it for a second before he said “Do you want to get that?”. I wanted to go home. After a third cock-up on the speech front, it was time to read for the part I was actually going for. And that part went really well! I was really pleased with myself, and thought I had redeemed myself. After that, I was asked to try my second speech one final time if I had calmed down enough, but yet again it was an epic fail, resulting in me practically reading the whole thing from my notebook. He walked with ,e back down to the meeting point for his next auditionee, we shook hands, and I began to walk in what I hoped was the right direction of a bus.

I seemed to be making my way down a country lane but I saw a few bus stops so I carried on in hope. After about half an hour I came upon some civilisation and saw two elderly gentlemen at a bus stop, so I asked if it was the right stop to get into town to get to the railway station. Thankfully it was, and one of the gentlemen was kind enough to give me very specific instructions of where to get off the bus and which roads to walk along to find the station. I sat with my face slumped against the window looking out at the town that I despised so much, and updated my Facebook status with a rant. Well, it made me feel better! I dragged my heels along the streets to the station, stopped in the shop and bought myself a bug chocolate muffin, a Twix and some pickled onion flavour Monster Munch. Well, if I was having a bad day, then I was going to stink out the train with my crisps and I didn’t care! Sadly I didn’t get the chance as the train was delayed so I had to eat them on the platform! I was heavy hearted as I’d set my sights on being in the play over the summer, for a split second thought about jumping on the tracks to cause a commotion in the horrid town, but the beautiful sounds of ‘DJ’ by H&Claire informed me that my phone was ringing. A huge smile burst over my face as I realised it was the lovely Adam who had seen my Facebook and wanted to see if I was ok. I was cheered up immensely from chatting with him, said goodbye as the train began to pull away, and stuffed my face with chocolate muffin as the immortal words “I’ll be in touch” were ringing in my ears.

Do you know what? Rehearsals began a few days ago... I still haven’t heard! Typical.

Nxxx

Another month, another tour…

As soon as I arrived back in Kettering (after dropping off some holiday gifts), I was throwing clothes everywhere and re-packing my suitcase ready to go back to Crewe for rehearsals. Due to the amount of fun I had been having during my spell of unemployment, I had learned approximately half a page out of the 34 that made up the script. I hadn’t told the boss, as they had already had to cancel a week’s worth of shows because I was on holiday. I wasn’t meant to be doing the whole thing- the girl they had asked had to drop out so I was replacing her. As soon as I arrived I was asked how much of it I had learned, and I was totally honest with her. She didn’t look impressed but I knew I could learn it. They hadn’t told me however, that I would only have 3 days of rehearsal rather than the 4 I was told I was having. Hmmm. But rehearsals went well, and I stuck my head in my script for the two nights I was there and by Friday afternoon I was word-perfect. I told them they had nothing to worry about! The show was about World War 2, and evacuation. I had 5 different characters to play but the show was straightforward enough and I didn’t have to do any research to learn anything for it, so the next few weeks should have been a breeze!

And so on the Sunday, we made our way down to Somerset. I had stayed in the accommodation previously with a different company so I knew what to expect. I was back working with Eden again on this tour and he had plenty to moan about with the house. But we had a roof over our heads and it was warm so I wasn’t complaining. Well, I did a bit... but I only moaned about the weather! From the moment I left Kettering to the moment we left Somerset, it rained. And me being as sensible as I am, was still in holiday mode and had packed for beautiful summer weather. I didn’t even take a jacket! I was pretty miserable due to the weather and early mornings, until I managed to get some internet signal and decided to see where Adam was in the country. It turned out that on the Friday night he would only be an hour away from us! I immediately got on the phone to him and arranged to go and see the show. It was going to be a good end to the week!

We only had one show on the Friday in the morning so I had the afternoon to get excited about the show! I had never seen any outdoor theatre before! He was performing ‘The Taming of The Shrew’. I realised that the rain hadn’t stopped so I went shopping and bought a raincoat! And it was a good job that I did! It rained all the way driving there, throughout most of act one, and then it stopped. It stayed dry throughout the interval and half of act 2, then it started again. And then it got heavier and heavier until the clouds just burst and it was like someone had thrown a bucket of water over a load of ants. The show had to be stopped and Adam grabbed me and we ran inside. I felt so sorry for the actors, they were absolutely soaking and they hadn’t got anywhere proper to dry their clothes for the next day! One of the girls had been kind enough to lend me her waterproof coat at the start but even that was soaked through. Luckily I had taken some spare clothes with me in case of such an occasion but I was drenched! Eden had looked out of the window and decided that he wasn’t going to come and when I arrived home he looked very smug that he had been sitting in the dry all evening. But I didn’t care. I had got to see my man and he was marvellous!

I went home that weekend as I was running the ‘Race for Life’ with 11 others from Starlight, in Northampton. Although I had only been home the previous weekend, it was nice to relax after a week of rain and shows, and we had a good giggle. Some of us ran and some of us walked but we all raised a load of money for charity and had a good afternoon! Before it was time to back to Crewe!

The next week of shows were in the Crewe/Stoke area so we were staying back in the house that we were in when we rehearsed for The GCSE tour. The shows went well that week, the boss came to see it and we met up afterwards for notes(!). I also managed another visit to see Adam, thi time with Eden in tow. It was the same show and there was slightly less rain, but I got to see the end this time and had a jolly good evening! The drive home was less jolly as Eden had bought an audiobook on tape for the van. Normally I’d be up for listening to an audiobook, but this one was all about the plague and had people dying every few minutes. I rapidly developed the ability to turn my ears off and drift away into my own world! It also had the amazing power of sending me to sleep with its dull-ness, so that was a bonus!

As I had toured with the same company at the same time last year, I was recognising schools and being recognised myself by teachers and even a few students. That’s when you know you’ve been in a job for too long! I was really enjoying the show, it was relatively easy to do and went quite quickly. I was just getting into the routine of it all when... we had a week off! Which was actually quite nice! I didn’t realise how tired the show had made me. I had one more late night to contend with, in Birmingham. I went to see the second of Adam’s shows, ‘Cranford’. It was promising to be a lovely day, but as soon as I found Adam, and sat in the van with him, the rains came and didn’t stop. It rained all the way through the entire performance and although this time I was more prepared for the weather, I was still soaked! I didn’t let it get to me as I was staying the night in the same Travelodge as them, and I made my way to get warm to wait for Adam’s arrival. Despite having a sat-nav, I drove past it twice as it was appallingly signposted, but I got in and sat myself down with a glass of wine and waited. And waited.... and waited a bit more. I knew that it took them a while to take down their set but it was nearing midnight and there was no sign. I then received a text message saying that they were lost. I phoned him back and tried to give him directions but it was still almost another 4o minutes before he arrived. By that time I’d had even more wine and my plans for a romantic evening were well and truly scuppered!

It was lovely spending what little time we had together, but we had to go our separate ways; he to Wales and me to home for Lydia’s UK wedding reception, huzzah! It was another chance to put on my bridesmaid outfit, and this time the shoes stayed on for the whole night! Impressive!

I don’t remember much about my week off, I must have slept quite a lot, but before I knew it, I was back on the road and heading to Yorkshire. And what a place it was. Forget the house in Norfolk from the last tour, this house was amazing! I’m not going to describe it because words won’t do it justice but I loved it. I could imagine myself living there forever! We worked out our travel times for the week and Eden decided (not discussed and suggested, but decided) that we would be better off staying at his house for 2 nights that week to cut some travel time. I was gutted. I loved that house!! I also remembered that he said he had just got a new housemate, so I was preparing myself for sleeping on the lounge floor like Adam had to. I was not impressed. I got my own back though... As he hadn’t asked if it was ok with me to stay at his, and just thrust it upon me, I did nothing to help in the house. I didn’t offer to help with cooking or washing up, nothing. That may seem like a tiny thing, but in my head it was pure victory! Yesssssss!

It turned out that their new housemate wasn’t going to be there for the two days I was, so I ended up (unknown to her) sleeping in her bed, sharing it with bin bags full of her belongings! That made it slightly better that I actually had a bed but I was still really annoyed with him. I was so happy to get back to the pretty Yorkshire house, and I spent the next two nights there alone as Eden went home for the weekend to work. I was home alone in the middle of nowhere and it was bliss! It was so peaceful and the bed was so comfortable and I was so tired that I didn’t wake up on the Saturday until 1.30pm. Heaven! It was nice to be on my own but strangely I felt lonely. I had no friends around that I could visit, and Adam was in Ireland so it would have cost both of us a fortune to call. But after a melancholy Facebook status update from myself, I received an unexpected call from him! He was back in Northern Ireland, cheap calls! He phoned to see if I was ok, and we had a lovely chat and catch-up and I felt much better!

Sunday rolled around and we had another epic journey. I drove from the beautiful house over to Leeds to pick up Eden. I had to sit in his house for 3 hours while he was making a costume for the next weekend, and then we made our way right up to Cumbria, to Barrow-in-Furness. It was the final week and we were to spend it in a Bed and Breakfast. I didn’t mind it, I was there last year and had a very enjoyable stay, the place even had wifi! But of course some people are never happy, but I just smiled, thought of the money and how I’d soon be home! I visited many of the same schools as last year (again), and met up with a previous touring friend for afternoon drinks on my time off and thankfully the week went by beautifully. We spent our final night in a different B&B in Whitehaven which had beautiful views of the sea and en-suite bathrooms in every room. I was very content! With only one show on the last day in the afternoon, we took a quick trip into Whitehaven but didn’t find much of interest. The last show was in an infant school and was the same last school as the previous year. I remembered it being a complete letdown last year, and this year was no different. The kids were so young they didn’t know what was going on, they were talking and moving around the hall and just annoyed me! I have never packed away a set so quickly as I did that day!

I still had a 6 hour journey ahead of me but I had downloaded a Torchwood audio book to keep me entertained for some of it. I dropped Eden off at Manchester airport and began my long descent to home. I had money in my pocket, another credit on my CV, and a few nice memories to keep me going. Another tour, done.

Nxxx

Unemployment can be fun…

My days of unemployment after the tour were long and tedious! With all my friends with proper jobs being at work, and most of my Starlight friends being at college, I had no-one to play with. My only income was from a few hours of cleaning houses, and the always-handy Job Seekers Allowance (cheers!), and with no jobs on the horizon, I was feeling pretty poor!

I had my first audition of the year in Nottingham; I met the lady who was in charge of the theatre company and she was lovely, and a friend was also to be auditioning that day, but unfortunately I didn’t see him, and didn’t get the part! This was also to be the first of my auditions where I would get lost and flustered just in time to go into the audition! I arrived in plenty of time and found the right street. However, I could not find the venue anywhere. I walked up and down the street three times before asking staff from the train station. They didn’t know either. I even asked a clueless policeman, all to no avail. I didn’t want to ring the number I was given because auditions were already taking place, but with 5 minutes to go, I dialled the number. The phone rang twice and then I spotted it, I was standing right outside! Typical! I ran up the stairs as my call was being returned, and almost burst through the door. Not my finest hour I’ll admit. Needless to say, it wasn’t the greatest audition, and it was another job to add to the ‘fail’ list.

I didn’t worry too much, as a couple of days later I was asked if I could do a couple of weeks of a primary schools tour for the company I had just finished with. I said yes, of course! But first, there was fun to be had! And first on the fun list, a hen night! One of my longest-running friends needed a good send-off so off we went pole dancing(!) followed by Mexican food and cocktails in Birmingham, lovely! We all had a proper giggle, and despite gaining a big bruise on one arm, I came our relatively unscathed... So I thought.

The next day I was ridiculously excited as I was going up to Bury to see Adam for a whole 8 days! Woop! I tried my hardest to leap out of my bed until I realised that our pole dancing antics had almost left me paralysed! Every single muscle in my body ached, even ones I didn’t know I had! I had to endure 2 and a half hours of train journeying up to Manchester and then get the tram to Bury for another half an hour. Train and tram seats are not that comfortable at the best of times so the journey was less enjoyable than expected! But my excitement levels kept my spirits up, and when I finally saw Adam, it was worth it, despite the pain when I attempted to hug him!!

My week in Bury can be summed up in one word... Perfect! I know, I know, I sound like one of those gushing girls who I hate, talking about their men all the time, blah blah! But I hadn’t had a man in my life for so long that I don’t care! Adam’s mum was on holiday so we had the house to ourselves (and the dog!). Because we were both poor we didn’t really do much but it was lovely just getting away from everyone and everything and just relaxing. I also met his sister and her husband while I was there. Just as we were leaving the house to meet his sister, Adam told me that she hated his previous girlfriend so I was feeling quite nervous! But I had nothing to worry about, she was lovely! We even went to Primark together! We went bowling with them and out for drinks where I was introduced as ‘Adam’s girlfriend’!!! It was so strange hearing it but I was chuffed!

I helped him to learn some of his lines for his next tour, which would be taking him all over the country until September(!) and I didn’t know when I would be seeing him again. When it was time to go, yet again I cried like a loon because I didn’t want to go. He practically had to push me on the train to make me leave. But I’d had a good week and there were still more exciting moments to arrive...

Including my birthday party!! I had a joint party with the lovely Caroline from Starlight as our birthdays are only a week apart. We had it at Starlight Studios and of course we made it a themed party with fancy dress... Geeks! Everyone was so excited and went to town with their costumes! And I had the added bonus of getting loads of presents! Haha! It was brilliant! I got loads of nice new jewellery ready to take on holiday with me, bottles of wine, awesome! We played pass the parcel and pin the tail on the donkey! The feedback was immense, everyone loved it, people were saying it was the best party they had ever been to! (Obviously!!)

And then came the moment I had been waiting for for 3 years... SKIATHOS!! I was to be celebrating my birthday in the sun, sending Lydia off on her merry married way, and finally getting a proper tan! Oh, and what a week it was! We made new friends, rediscovered old friends, drank far too many cocktails, lost the memory of half an evening, went on a boat trip to the film locations of ‘Mamma Mia!’ and had the most amazing time! Nobody wanted to go home, and for a while we got our wish- our flight was delayed by two and a half hours! We got to have an extra Greek meal in the sunshine and had a relatively lovely time, as far as airports go! But it was back to England, back to reality, and back to rehearsals....

The immense blogging catch-up Part 2... Illness, steaks and broken vans

Monday rolled around again and Eden was still poorly. I normally get ill on week one of touring; my body isn’t used to getting up at ridiculous o’clock, I eat differently and work very hard after months of unemployment. But I get on with it, I’m there to do a job and I’ll do it. There’s no moaning, there’s no understudy! But Eden wasn’t just run down, his mystery illness was still a mystery. He came down for breakfast, didn’t eat anything and refused to go to work. We had to phone the boss. Thankfully the company is based quite close to where we were staying so Brian managed to get to us and fill in for Eden. The show was ‘An Inspector Calls’, and Eden was the main workshop leader in it. We made it to the school and set up, phone in hand awaiting Brian’s arrival. And he got stuck in traffic. The school were being really awkward when I asked if we could push the show back slightly while Brian was making his way but they were having none of it. He made it just in time, and we threw the Inspector costume at him, thrust a script in his hand and did one of the best thrown-together workshops we’ve ever done!

This routine carried on for the rest of the week for three out of the four shows. Adam and I would trundle off in the van with Brian meeting us at the schools and we managed to make our way through the week quite successfully. There was the occasional text from Eden demanding that we bought him tins of soup, but I quite enjoyed it. It brought me and Adam a lot closer together, although we had Brian performing with us, it was down to us two to keep things going as they had been and try not to let everything fall to pieces. By the time we got back on the Thursday evening, Eden was feeling much better and he said he was going to make it to Friday’s shows. Yvonne had said that either herself or Brian would be coming to watch the morning show as that was the only workshop they hadn’t seen in action from us yet. And so we woke up on Friday ready to go out as a team again, onl for Eden to say that he wasn’t going again. I phoned the bosses but got no response so I sent a text message and hoped for the best. I’d bought the York Notes books for each play that I used to use at school, and during the drive Adam was reading facts out to me and asking me questions, none of which I knew.

We rolled up at the school, set up again, and clock watched as the 9.30am start time crept closer and closer. There was no sign of either Brian or Yvonne. I started to panic. We had 2 shows of ‘Macbeth’ that day, and despite performing half of it, I didn’t really know it that well. Eden was the sole workshop leader in it as Adam and I were Macbeth and his Mrs. There wasn’t a lot of time for us to be workshopping. We remembered that Adam and Eden had a sword fight at the end when Macbeth dies, so I’d have to take the part on and learn the stage fight too! The clock ticked ever closer to 9.30, and suddenly as I popped my head around the curtain I saw Yvonne signing in at the reception desk. I frantically motioned her to get behind the curtain and she saw that Eden wasn’t there. Quick as a flash she put on one of the costumes and we were off into the workshop straight away. I don’t know how she did it but she was amazing! The shows were fabulous that day! Adam and I were on fire, we even got a round of applause after 2 different scenes!! We were so glad to get to the end of the week in one piece! We vowed to have a relaxing weekend, and after I’d taken him home again for another driving lesson, we did.

And then it was our final week in Northwich. Eden was back, the shows were rocking and we were happy. We spent a lovely evening with Marcus and Sarah on the Thursday before everyone went their separate ways. Eden, Marcus and Sarah all went to their homes but Adam and I were going to the next accommodation, down near Shrewsbury. We had to move out of the Northwich house on the Friday but the next accommodation wasn’t ready til the Saturday so we spent the night in Sarah’s cottage next door, Adam cooked me steak, and we had some cheese and some wine. Lovely!

After a long drive down, we arrived at the cutest cottage I’ve ever seen! We settled in, did a food shop and I supervised as I taught him how to make one of my amazing cheesecakes! I was slightly miffed that his was better than mine, but it was delicious and I almost ate the lot!

We settled down for the night and Adam insisted we watch one of the DVDs in the house- ‘A Room With a View’. I can’t say it was my thing- I fell asleep! But he’d made me another amazing steak that night so I couldn’t be mad at him! We didn’t get to spend very much time in the area that week as we had a full week of shows, but one evening I went for a walk around the village for Adam and we found our own little piece of paradise! :)

Our next stop was Norfolk, and we were very excited. Our accommodation had its own swimming pool! Our route took us past Kettering so I told Adam we would be stopping at my house to collect my swimming costume. We popped in quickly and he met my parents(!) and was a hit! We swung into town and I showed him around Starlight and he met Jacc and Craig and a couple of seniors (also a hit!), then we stopped off to buy some food for our evening meal when we arrived in Norfolk. Unfortunately we didn’t get that far. We were driving along the A14, and had only been going for about 5 minutes when the van felt really heavy and the power steering gave out. I managed to get it over to the side of the road just before it stopped completely. I found the breakdown information and called out the RAC who said there was a 2 hour wait. We weren’t impressed. I’d only managed to get the van onto the start of the slip road off the A14 so we got out of it and sat on the grass awaiting the big orange truck. After about an hour of sitting in the cold (despite Adam giving me his jumper :) ) a police car came along and had to push the van onto the grass verge as it was getting dark and dangerous to be where we were. We thankfully climbed back into the van and sat snuggling watching Gavin and Stacey on Adam’s phone. 2 hours had passed and there was no sign of the RAC. Adam tried to phone them back but got put through to a machine. Not long after that we got a phone call back saying that we would have to wait another hour. While fighting back tears I tried to assert myself and try to get us bumped up the list but to no avail. We would have to wait.

When we were rescued, we discovered that there was no way to get the van moving again so we would have to be towed, with me steering the thing! I’ve never been so nervous in all my life! But I managed it and 6 hours after leaving, we were back at my parents house after waving goodbye for the week. It was early to rise on Saturday, as I tried my best to get the van sorted. It was just lucky we were so close to home or we would have been ridiculously stuck. I managed to get it in a local garage and while they were looking at it I managed to get in a sneaky ballet lesson! It turned out to bad news for the van, something was drastically wrong, and I then had to source a hire van. With nowhere in Kettering to hire from, I found one in Wellingborough but had to get my dad to drive us there because they wouldn’t deliver it to me!! Then when I got to Wellingborough they almost didn’t gave me it because I didn’t have a utility bill to prove my address! I wanted to slap someone very hard by that point! We sped it back to Kettering and had to transfer all the costumes and set into the new van before the garage closed for the rest of the weekend.

I definitely needed a good drink after that day so I took Adam to experience the wonders of Kettering at night! After a very good night we finally made our way to Norfolk. And it was definitely worth the wait! Not too far from the local towns, it was a beautiful set of cottages with a huge kitchen, lovely lounge and a decent bathroom. Sadly, as with all touring accommodations, we weren’t there long enough to appreciate it fully, but I did manage one swim in the pool and said hello to the house chickens!

And then began the final week. We made our way back up to Leeds to stay at Eden’s house, this time Adam didn’t have to sleep in the lounge, we bunked in the spare room together! :) I was sad that the tour was coming to an end, I was looking forward to a break (and my ever-looming holiday!) but I was sad that I wouldn’t get to see Adam for a while, and I was scared he’d forget me! But we had a tour to finish and I couldn’t dwell too much on it, there were students that needed my help! The week flew by, much to my disappointment, and as usual, the final show was a huge anticlimax. The last day featured two shows of ‘Of Mice and Men’, but they didn’t want to see Curley’s wife’s death because ‘they know that happens’...?!? I didn’t even get to die!!!!!!!! So I just did one scene and that was it! Rubbish!

I was also faced with another epic journey. Despite staying in Leeds, the show was in Leicester (about an hour from my house). This meant my day would consist of driving from Leeds to Leicester, doing two rubbish shows, driving back up to Crewe to drop off the set, costumes and Adam, and then driving back down to Wellingborough to drop off the hire van to then find a way home. Until Adam had a brainwave! He lives not too far from Crewe so after we dropped off the set I dropped him off at home and stayed the night at his house! Bliss!

But all good things must come to an end, and I had to leave to get the van back. My goodbye was hard, and I cried for ages in the van, until I almost crashed because I couldn’t see through my tears and I had to stop! And that was it. Tour over. Would it be the last one? You’ll have to wait and see...