A-Z of Acting: Q is for...

Quality.

Every actor wants to be good at what they do, and getting recognition for their work is rarely a slap in the face. No matter who you are reading this, I can pretty much guarantee that at some point in your life you will have watched something, either at the theatre, or on film or television, and thought something along the lines of, "Wow, he/she was really good in that". If I asked you who your favourite actor or actress is, you would probably have an answer.

A good film will stir up emotions in you, and make you want to be part of the world you're watching. It sweeps you up with it and makes you forget everything else in the world, for a couple of hours.

That's what I had this week. I took myself and my lovely friend Hannah to see 'The Great Gatsby'. I've not read the book, but the trailer completely grabbed me and I knew I had to see it. I knew that I would like it, as it was directed by Baz Luhrmann, and I love all of his films, but I didn't think I'd like it as much as I did on first viewing.

Of course it helped that Leonardo DiCaprio was in it, I'm not going to lie, he's still a very good looking man! But a good actor can make you forget about how they look and make you a part of their story, and he did just that.



I won't ruin the story for anyone who hasn't seen it and wants to, but I completely believed everything he did in the film, well, the whole cast were amazing. It was another one of those moments where I see something so brilliant that it pulls my heartstrings so much because that's what I want to be doing. I want to make people feel what I felt during that film, I want to dress up in different clothes, and to get lost in another world myself.

It's just so infuriating that I don't feel that I'll ever get the chance. I turn 28 on Saturday, and although I don't feel that old, to look at that number on paper makes me feel like I've missed my chance and it's gutting.

This week I sorted myself out and emailed 27 agents asking for representation. I've had 3 replies. One reply was an automated response as someone was on maternity leave, and I also had two rejections. Yet again I'll be playing the waiting game, refreshing my inbox every few minutes to see if I have any replies, but I'm pretty sure if I get any more, they'll still be rejections.

Still, if everyone gave up on what they wanted to do, no-one would get anywhere would they?

I'll just have to keep going until I get my moment on film with Mr DiCaprio...



Nxxx

A-Z of Acting. P is for...

Perfection.

As previously mentioned in past blog posts, I will soon be entertaining the audiences of Bedfordshire and Northamptonshire with my portrayal of Hero in 'Much Ado About Nothing'. Last Sunday evening my script arrived in my email inbox, and I immediately sprung to action and printed the pages as fast as I could, so that I could begin to work on them first thing on Monday morning.

Monday morning tuned into the whole day, most of Tuesday afternoon, all of Wednesday, most of Thursday, and all of Friday morning too. For the first time in a while, I was feeling nervous about a play. I had secured the role that I had wanted, but after reading through the script, I couldn't get my head around the character. It was time for action!

I've performed the play before, but not in the role of Hero, and the editing of the play was also different to the last performance I did. I grabbed my trusty Cambridge Shakespeare Much Ado study guide and sat down and worked my way through the whole play. On every single page of script I wrote down what was happpening in each scene, I researched all of the words I didn't understand and scribbled them all down in the margins. I even wrote a modern day translation of each of my lines so that I fully understood everything I was saying.

I wrote essays on my characters relationships with everyone else in the play, I noted what everyone else said about my character throughout the story, I wrote a timeline of events that happen to her, basically, I didn't stop until I knew everything about her. I wanted to get inside her head and understand why she does what she does. And I'm still stuck!

Everyone wants their performances to be good. No, more than good. No-one wants to be the average person in the cast, if you want to work again, you have to be perfect. Which is why I put in so much work this week.

I am quite annoyed that I'm struggling already, I'm just hoping that things will be okay once we get into rehearsals. I'm sure other people will be able to help me out with their take on things, it's just infuriating when you can't seem to get something that you think should be easy.

I'm glad I did all of the work though. My parents were away for the week, so I was able to get so much done without getting hassled(!), and now they're back I've only got my lines to focus on which for me is the easy part! (And to be honest, I haven't really got too many of those! I mainly have to stand around looking pretty while people call me 'sweet' for the first two thirds of the play!)


My exercise regime also begins (again) tomorrow! I'm challenging myself to try and lose a stone in weight before the first performance. No-one wants to be a chunky bride, even if it is only a pretend wedding that goes a bit wrong! I will be the perfect Hero, it just might take a bit more work!

Nxxx


PS, If you remember me talking about a music video I did with my dance people back in April... it's finally here! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqFlqeQV9t4 Get your geek on! :) xxx

A-Z of Acting. O is for...

Opportunities.

I'm not going to lie, right now I'm writing this at 4.10pm and I'm still in my pyjamas with yesterdays make-up smudged all over my face and I really need a shower. Unfortunately this isn't the first time that this has happened in my life.

You see, acting isn't all it's cracked up to be on days like this. And there are plenty of days just like this. For the majority of the year, many actors aren't working acting jobs. They're either working their normal person jobs, or sitting at laptops or on tablets trawling the internet for castings and auditions, and trying to get themselves noticed.

But some days you just need to sit in your pyjamas, watch re-runs of 'Friends', eat a smoked salmon sandwich and watch the rain! And then prepare yourself to create new opportunities for yourself. Unless you've got a pretty amazing agent, or you're one of the Hollywood elite, you have to create every opportunity for yourself.

Last week I received my new headshots which I am very pleased with, so now I feel re-energised and ready to put my new face photos out there to try and get myself said amazing agent, to hopefully get further than the jobs I currently do.

I've felt like I've been stuck in a rut for a while now and it's time to try and get myself out of it, and my headshots were the push I needed. For the past year, yes I have been working, but it's been with mostly the same people. Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly grateful to have been asked to work with them all, and I've learned things from every single job that I've done, but there comes a time when you start to wonder what else there is and you want to push yourself so much further.

I met up with my lovely friend Christine last week (hello Christine, I know you're reading this, sorry it's a few days late!). I worked on a play with Christine a few years ago in Leicester and we have continued to stay in touch, meet up, and she's even come to see me in several shows. We spent the afternoon wandering around Leicester, and had a nice lunch, and chatted lots about working. I was moaning about my normal person job (as usual!) when I realised that I shouldn't be! Christine told me that she had pointed someone else in the direction of this blog to read as an insight into the industry, and said things about me being driven. Then she added in that she herself has seven jobs. Seven! I moan about having one! Now that's drive and determination right there!

Actors will do anything to try and keep in work if they're determined enough, and clearly that's proof. When I sit and think about it, how many people must she be in contact with working that many jobs? Yes, the people I've worked with keep asking me back, but I'm not getting to meet a great deal more people by going back time and time again. I need to socialise more!

Looking back, that was the biggest thing I had to learn when I first started out. I was lucky in that the first few auditions I ever had, I got all of the jobs! That was probably down to being straight out of training and believing I could take on the world, but as you get into the industry, you realise how many people there are trying to do exactly the same, and you start to get worn down, and chased by younger, prettier people who are after the same roles. You realise that not everyone is like you. I'm not being big headed but I like to think that I'm one of the nicest people I know! I love doing things for other people, it's what makes me happy! I ran a half-marathon for charity earlier in the year, yesterday I gave blood for the second time. These are good things! I'm nice!

But nice doesn't get you anywhere in acting. you have to fight people to get work, you have to be a bit of an arse. If you don't fight for yourself, you'll get walked all over and other people will take those jobs from under your nose.

There seems to be fewer and fewer acting jobs popping up at the moment which is another reason to try and create your own opportunities. I'm trying so hard to focus on writing my own things to act in but I don't think I quite have the same drive for it as I do with acting. But who knows, I may never act again unless I write myself something and cast myself in it! And I don't even know if I'm any good at writing. It seems like an easy thing to do, but unless you've got a grand plan, it's quite hard. I'm quite envious of people who find it easy. Or maybe the topic I'm writing about is just too tricky for a first play! Who knows.

Christine also got me involved in judging a dance competition which took place on Sunday. It was a fundraising event for the Red Cross. I wasn't sure what to expect as I was told that most of the groups were school dance clubs so to be honest I wasn't expecting anything spectacular, but they blew me away. Everyone was so good! There were some beautiful dancers, and I felt happy for them that they had such a good opportunity to show themselves off. It was also nice for me to meet new people too, and hopefully it might lead on to something else too.

After all I've written in this post, I've realised that I've created no opportunities for myself at all in the last few days. My script came through for 'Much Ado About Nothing' and I've just been making notes in my script for the last 2 days solid, trying to get to grips with the plot of the play, and character analysis. I've even started writing an essay on my character to try and get inside her head! Now that's doing my homework! 2 solid days and I haven't even begun to learn my lines!

I sat on the sofa yesterday, drowning in script pages and Shakespeare revision guides and started to get a bit panicked. I was struggling with why my character was such a pushover and doesn't stand up for herself. It was the first time since the Paralympics Opening Ceremony that I've started to doubt myself again. What if I'm not up to the standard of the rest of the cast? What if because I'm struggling with my character, I'm just going to be rubbish? I'm sure I'll be fine once rehearsals get underway, but little niggles have started to find their way in again and I'm not entirely sure what to do about it.

There are still two weeks until rehearsals start so hopefully I'll have found my confidence again, I'm just going to have to work very hard!

I'm off to Bedford tonight to watch 'The Merchant of Venice', so hopefully that will inspire me and give me a step in the right direction. Gulp!

I think I might need to get out of my pj's first though! ;)

Nxxx

A-Z of Acting. N is for...

Negativity.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. It's very hard to stay positive every day in this profession when there's a constant stream of rejection. From agents, from jobs, the list goes on. No matter how much you try and block it out, there's always a bit of sadness involved when you realise that someone doesn't want you, for whatever reason. You just have to pick yourself up, put on your smile, and start again.

This week, I faced some different negativity. First stop, Tuesday. Bedford. I had my audition for 'Much Ado About Nothing'. I've worked for the company before, so I was a lot more relaxed than I normally am in auditions, and I knew everyone but one person, so it was all friendly and nice. I was auditioning for three characters, Hero, Margaret and Dogberry. I have been in the play before, a few years ago, but hadn't played any of those characters, so I did my homework and researched them to see what I could come up with before the audition. I read the play again, and thought to myself that I'd quite like to play Dogberry. Of course Hero goes on quite a journey throughout the play, but I thought I could have more fun with a complete comic character. I decided he would have a Scottish accent!

In the first scene we worked on, I played Hero, and found that I actually quite enjoyed it. My mind was being swayed towards wanting to play her now! I watched another girl act out her Dogberry and was howling with laughter, she was brilliant. Then it was my turn to give it a go. I went into another room with the boys to rehearse and immediately said "How on Earth am I meant to follow that?!?". I gave it a go but I was nowhere near as good as what she had done. My heart sank. But there were still more scenes to go, so I embraced them with gusto!

Those of you that know the play will know what I mean by the wedding scene, which is what we did next. While the other girls were playing Hero, I embodied the role of Friar Francis. I was trying extremely hard to supress my giggles as thoughts from the last time I performed the play sprang to mind. We were totally unable to get through the final scene of the play without laughing, and slowly the giggles were coming back to haunt me four years later... I pulled it together and began to nod my head in a wise fatherly way and got through the scene without drawing any attention to myself.

Then it was my turn to play Hero. I do enjoy a good stare-off during a scene, and the guy who was auditioning for Claudio gave me some good proper stares of disgust which was fabulous! I really did feel like I wanted to cry! I really enjoyed the scene, and yet again was drawn to wanting to play Hero. Fingers crossed.

After the audition we went outside to take some photos for promotional purposes, and yet again I found myself wrapped around a stranger in the bushes all in the name of work! :D

That done, it was time to go home and find some clothes for my headshot session that was happening on Friday.

And what a day it was. I was hoping for glorious sunshine, and thankfully I got it. I drove to Bedford, parked the car and hopped on the train to St Pancras, followed bu a 45 minute journey on the Northern Line to Morden and a 25 minute walk to the studio.

Earlier on in the week I had been sitting outside in the sunny garden trying to clear up the spots that decided to appear on my face, when I had got sunburnt. It wasn't a good look, and my photographer, Mario, commented that I looked a bit pink. Luckily he said he would be able to work some magic on his computer in editing so I would return to my normal shade of bland.

I normally hate having my photo taken for programmes and headshots etc, but he put me completely at ease and gave me lots of tips and tricks to get the best angles and to get rid of my four chins. It worked! He showed me the photos as we were going along and I was very happy indeed. It was going to be a tough choice. Thankfully because the sun was out, we were able to use natural light instead of his studio lighting which made me look a lot nicer!

24 hours later, I had arrived home from the longest shift ever at my normal person job, to find an email from my photographer, with a link to my online gallery of headshots, for me to narrow down to my chosen three. From 137. My parents sat huddled around the laptop while I opened the images, and predictably they said they liked the majority of them. I retired to my bedroom and began looking at my face for hours, tying to pick what I thought would be the best shots for me. It's only when you're staring back at your own face for a prolonged amount of time that you start to find a list of things that are wrong with you.

Yet again I was haunted by my Harry Potter scar that sits just above my right eyebrow, and normally goes unnoticed until a camera is put on it. Then I started having issues with my eyes. I noticed that one eye opens more than the other, and from then on, that's all I could see whenever I looked at any photo. It was getting out of control. I turned my laptop off and decided to go back to it later.

I worked my normal person job on Sunday too, another epically long day, but the thought of the money I was earning got me through, and the sun was out so it wasn't too bad. I suppose there are worse jobs out there, I just don't want to find them!

As of yesterday I have now confirmed my headshot choices to my photographer, who will now work his magic, make me pale again, and touch up anything else offensive that happens to be on my face, email them back to me and I'll be ready to go!

They'll also be here in time for me to use in the next programme I'll be seen in, for Much Ado... plaing Hero! :)

Think positive!

Nxxx