I've said it before, and I'll say it again. It's very hard to stay positive every day in this profession when there's a constant stream of rejection. From agents, from jobs, the list goes on. No matter how much you try and block it out, there's always a bit of sadness involved when you realise that someone doesn't want you, for whatever reason. You just have to pick yourself up, put on your smile, and start again.
This week, I faced some different negativity. First stop, Tuesday. Bedford. I had my audition for 'Much Ado About Nothing'. I've worked for the company before, so I was a lot more relaxed than I normally am in auditions, and I knew everyone but one person, so it was all friendly and nice. I was auditioning for three characters, Hero, Margaret and Dogberry. I have been in the play before, a few years ago, but hadn't played any of those characters, so I did my homework and researched them to see what I could come up with before the audition. I read the play again, and thought to myself that I'd quite like to play Dogberry. Of course Hero goes on quite a journey throughout the play, but I thought I could have more fun with a complete comic character. I decided he would have a Scottish accent!
In the first scene we worked on, I played Hero, and found that I actually quite enjoyed it. My mind was being swayed towards wanting to play her now! I watched another girl act out her Dogberry and was howling with laughter, she was brilliant. Then it was my turn to give it a go. I went into another room with the boys to rehearse and immediately said "How on Earth am I meant to follow that?!?". I gave it a go but I was nowhere near as good as what she had done. My heart sank. But there were still more scenes to go, so I embraced them with gusto!
Those of you that know the play will know what I mean by the wedding scene, which is what we did next. While the other girls were playing Hero, I embodied the role of Friar Francis. I was trying extremely hard to supress my giggles as thoughts from the last time I performed the play sprang to mind. We were totally unable to get through the final scene of the play without laughing, and slowly the giggles were coming back to haunt me four years later... I pulled it together and began to nod my head in a wise fatherly way and got through the scene without drawing any attention to myself.
Then it was my turn to play Hero. I do enjoy a good stare-off during a scene, and the guy who was auditioning for Claudio gave me some good proper stares of disgust which was fabulous! I really did feel like I wanted to cry! I really enjoyed the scene, and yet again was drawn to wanting to play Hero. Fingers crossed.
After the audition we went outside to take some photos for promotional purposes, and yet again I found myself wrapped around a stranger in the bushes all in the name of work! :D
That done, it was time to go home and find some clothes for my headshot session that was happening on Friday.
And what a day it was. I was hoping for glorious sunshine, and thankfully I got it. I drove to Bedford, parked the car and hopped on the train to St Pancras, followed bu a 45 minute journey on the Northern Line to Morden and a 25 minute walk to the studio.
Earlier on in the week I had been sitting outside in the sunny garden trying to clear up the spots that decided to appear on my face, when I had got sunburnt. It wasn't a good look, and my photographer, Mario, commented that I looked a bit pink. Luckily he said he would be able to work some magic on his computer in editing so I would return to my normal shade of bland.
I normally hate having my photo taken for programmes and headshots etc, but he put me completely at ease and gave me lots of tips and tricks to get the best angles and to get rid of my four chins. It worked! He showed me the photos as we were going along and I was very happy indeed. It was going to be a tough choice. Thankfully because the sun was out, we were able to use natural light instead of his studio lighting which made me look a lot nicer!
24 hours later, I had arrived home from the longest shift ever at my normal person job, to find an email from my photographer, with a link to my online gallery of headshots, for me to narrow down to my chosen three. From 137. My parents sat huddled around the laptop while I opened the images, and predictably they said they liked the majority of them. I retired to my bedroom and began looking at my face for hours, tying to pick what I thought would be the best shots for me. It's only when you're staring back at your own face for a prolonged amount of time that you start to find a list of things that are wrong with you.
Yet again I was haunted by my Harry Potter scar that sits just above my right eyebrow, and normally goes unnoticed until a camera is put on it. Then I started having issues with my eyes. I noticed that one eye opens more than the other, and from then on, that's all I could see whenever I looked at any photo. It was getting out of control. I turned my laptop off and decided to go back to it later.
I worked my normal person job on Sunday too, another epically long day, but the thought of the money I was earning got me through, and the sun was out so it wasn't too bad. I suppose there are worse jobs out there, I just don't want to find them!
As of yesterday I have now confirmed my headshot choices to my photographer, who will now work his magic, make me pale again, and touch up anything else offensive that happens to be on my face, email them back to me and I'll be ready to go!
They'll also be here in time for me to use in the next programme I'll be seen in, for Much Ado... plaing Hero! :)
Think positive!
Nxxx
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